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by Randy Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E · Short Story · Comedy · #1495233
My first long piece. Please have at it and give me the goods and bads of it.
Although this was not a typical of all my day at my job, it is indicative of what my job is like. I grew up in small town in upstate New York.  I graduated college with a degree in design. Soon after I searched for a job in the New York City.  After many of disappointments I landed a job in a very small design firm.

The firm consisted of my boss, who was also the owner, a part time intern and a secretary. It was soon apparent why I was hired. While I did most of the design work my boss could attend to his private life, bankrupt the firm and leave a trail of hate.  It wasn’t long before I was looking for another job. On the up side I was learning the inside of the design business and I was making great connections. My boss had his name attached to a lot of big time clients. Including some celebrities who had launched their own products. This would be a great job if it weren’t for my boss.

So started the day I earlier referred to. I was in the office by nine and started attending to my work. I little after ten my boss came flitting in. We gave him a few minutes to settle down then the secretary and I meet in his office to go over the schedule for the day. The intern was not working that day. The schedule was light. A conference call with a new client at eleven, email some designs to another client then follow up with a phone call. Lunch with a possible new client was cancelled. My boss was obviously bored and started telling us about the party he went to the night before. It was the usual crowd of socialites he hangs with and the stories he tells I have heard a hundred times already.  It was getting close to eleven and I need to prep for the conference call.

I finally got back to my desk and start prepping. It didn’t seem like five minutes when I heard my boss calling me. “Can you come to my office?”

“Is it important? I’m trying to get ready for the conference call.” I replied.

“It won’t take long.” Ugh! I knew I had to go. I entered his office and he was sitting at his desk fussing with his cassette recorder. “My Judy Garland tape got eaten again. Can you get it out?” You have to be kidding me. The conference call was minutes away and this is what he was worried about. I took a deep breath because I know he can’t move on until I get his tape out.

“Okay, let me try.”

As I was pulling the tape out he said, “You know what I have noticed lately? I have ugly toenails. There may be something wrong with them. Here take a look.” He takes off a shoe and starts rolling off a sock. Is he for real?

“I can’t really say anything about that. You should see a doctor if you’re worried.” I got very busy with the tape trying not to look at his toenails.

“Well you can just tell me what you think.” I sort of side glanced at them and tell him they look all right. I wouldn’t worry so much. Maybe worry a little more about work. That last line was to myself.

I get the tape back into the recorder and it started playing. The secretary buzzed at that moment. The new client was on the phone ready for the conference call. Oh crap! It’s eleven. I start to leave the office when my boss asked. “Where are you going? You are in on this call too.”

“I need to get my notes on my desk. Can you stall them a bit? I’m not quite ready for the call.” I answered as I was leaving.

“Why are you not ready? You knew about this call. Honestly, you need to organize yourself better if you are going to make it in the business world.” Clenching my fists I continued to my desk.

When I got back at quarter past eleven he gave me that ‘what took you so long’ look. I said, “Okay, I’m ready. Didn’t you start the call?”

“Yes I did. I told them you weren’t ready yet and we had to wait for you.” 

I was furious even though I was used to this behavior of blame. I kept my composure and said. “Hi Cindy, Jack. Sorry, just a couple of last minute changes.”

Over the speakerphone I heard a slightly annoyed reply.  “Lets get on with this meeting please.”

We go over our visions of the product, the design aspects and so on. During the call my boss was somewhat abrasive. He ignored their ideas and is annoyed when they are not thrilled with his. Suddenly he said, “ I have to put you on hold. We’ll be right back.” Then he pushes a button on the phone. He turned to me and said, “These people don’t know what they are doing. They wouldn’t know a good design if it bit them on the backside. I’m done dealing with them. Let’s end this.” Before I can reply he hit the button and said “Hi were back.” He then looked at me indicating I now have to end the meeting.

I started in with ‘we have enough information to get started’ and so on. Let us work out some designs and we will go from that point. They thanked me coolly and the call ended. I guess I didn’t sound too convincing.  My boss said “I don’t see any satisfaction working with those people. You can do all the work on this one.” As opposed to what? I do all the work already. He just picks his favorite design from what I come up with and collects the check.

It was a little after noon and I am at my desk trying to catch up on the work I didn’t get to in the morning when my boss came floating into my office and said, “Let’s go to lunch.” Not only do I not want to spend any extra time with my boss, but he has never picked up a check in his life. I certainly wouldn’t be able to afford the type of restaurant he would want to eat in. I couldn’t even afford the hot dog at the stand on the corner.

“Sorry, I’m a little too busy today. Maybe next time”

“Oh don’t be such a stick in the mud. All work and no play will make you a dull boy.”  I can see I’m not going to get out of this easily.

“I’m flat broke, I can’t really afford to go out for lunch.” I said not really believing this will get me off the hook.

“What, again? You seem to have a money management problem. I’ll tell me secrets of money management over lunch.” I guess one of those secrets is underpaying employees. “We’ll put this lunch on the company card.” We have a company card? “So problem solved. Let’s get going.”  I didn’t really want to spend anymore time with my boss than I had to, but on the upside, the food would be a lot better than the peanut butter sandwich I was going to eat.

Lunch went okay. The food was good, the company….well, what can I say. As we were leaving the restaurant my boss said, “Let go to Sacs.” Is he kidding me? Why in the world would I go there? Especially with him.

“I really can’t I need to get back to the office.” I tried to explain.

With hands on his hips and tapping his foot, “What did I tell you about all work and no play?” What is he, My mom? There was no way I was going to Sacs with him.

So we are in Sacs and he is all a flutter showing me suits and shirts and so on. Then my cell phone rang. Thank God. I excuse myself and take the call. It is the new client from the conference call earlier. “You know he never put us on hold. We heard everything he said.” What the hell! What button did he push? I guess it was too much to expect he would push the one that said hold. Think fast, what did he say? How am I going to smooth this one over.

“Oh that? He wasn’t talking about you. Our secretary came in with a message about another client we are having trouble with.”  Thinking quick on my feet was something I had learned with this job.

“Be that is it may, we don’t want to deal with him at all. We are only going to be in contact with you.” She didn’t sound convinced of my excuse but it look like they were going to let it go. I wiped a couple of beads sweat beads from my forehead.

“Okay, that should be fine. I see not problem with that.” I stammered. The call ended and I went to find my boss. I wasn’t going to tell him what just happened.

I found him looking at ties. I could see from the expression on his face some thing was wrong, but I didn’t really care. I said “Hi, I’m back.”

With out even looking at me he said, “Was that call about work?”

“A…no, it was my girlfriend.”

“You know you shouldn’t be making personal calls during work hours.”  What the hell!? Is dragging me to Sacs work related?

“Well, I’m not at work right now, I’m at Sacs.”

“You just happened to be at Sacs. What if we were at the office? How often does she call you at work? I find this unacceptable.”

I clenched my fists and take a deep breath. “She only calls if it is really important. She has a job too and is not allowed to make personal calls.”

“Well I’m going to start paying attention, so consider yourself warned. Ooo look, smoking jackets.” And just like that his attention is elsewhere. He has the attention span of a frito-lay.

He pulled a horrible looking satin smoking jacket out. “Look at this one. It is so you. Try it on.”  This is getting surreal.

“Smoking jackets aren’t really my thing”

“Humor me. Try it on.”

“I don’t really have time to be trying stuff on. I need to get back to the office.”

“The sooner you try it on the sooner we leave.” Deep breath, deep breath.

I put it on. “You look fantastic in it. You should really consider buying it.”

“I don’t even wear a bathrobe. I doubt I’ll wear a smoking jacket.”

“Just think how sharp you’ll look when you entertain at home. And this one is silk. You won’t regret it.” What world does he think I live in? I’m going to sit around with the guys watching football in my smoking jacket? I glace at the price tag and feel my eyes bulge. I don’t pay this much for a month of food. Is he out of his mind!?

“No, I really can’t buy this.”

“You’re going to regret it.” Not more than I regret this lunch. But he lets me put it back with any more fuss.

We finally get out of Sacs and back to the office. It was way past three and I had a lot of work to finish up.

I worked for about an hour and start to get on top of things when HE came bursting into my room and announced, “Put on a pot of coffee we are all working late.”  A big job had come in and is due early the next morning. He shouted a flurry of instructions and left as quickly as he came in. I organized my priorities , made a couple of calls, and got this job rolling. I soon came across conflicting directions and went to his office. He was not there. He could have been in the bathroom so I decided to wait a couple of minutes. As I am waiting the secretary came in and put some papers on his desk. She asked if I am waiting for the boss. I answered yes.

“I hope you have a pillow. He already left for the day.” My mind came screeching to a halt. “What?”

“He left for the day.”

Maybe he had a meeting that I was unaware of, so I hazarded the question.
“No, he went home.”

I guess when he said we it didn’t mean he. It after was 4:00 and there must have been a martini with his name on it somewhere. I needed answers if the job was to be done for tomorrow morning so I called his cell phone. No answer but I leave a voice mail to call me immediately. Maybe he was already home and turned off his cell phone, so I called his home number. Again, no answer but I left a voice mail there too.

As I was working on the rest of the job, I saw the secretary getting ready to leave. I told her I needed some answers from our boss about the job due tomorrow morning, does she know where he went and if I can get in touch with him. She said he was going home as far as she knew and left. I tried both his numbers again with the same results. Now it was decision time. I had to get the work out, but I wasn’t sure of the direction. If I decide wrong my boss will have a fit. My other choice was to have the work done in two ways to cover my bases, but then he will have a fit about the extra costs. I went with the extra costs.

I got the work ready, get messengers to make pickups and have everything in order for the next morning. It was after eight and I was dog tired, it was time to go home. As I was locking to door to the office my key broke off inside the lock. Crap! I tried to dig the key out, but couldn’t. Now what? The door was locked so no one could break in, but no one could open the door. I had to call a locksmith. I called information on my cell phone, made a few calls and found a locksmith that could come over right away.

Right away is a relative term of course. Over an hour later the locksmith arrived, got the key out and wanted a large sum of money for his service. I didn’t have access to the company’s funds so I paid with my credit card. Finally, the day was done.

The next morning all was going well. The work from the night before had come in and looked great. When my boss finally came in I showed him the work and he was happy with it. But as predicted he was mad about the extra cost and lectured me on not taking better notes when he gave me instructions. I told him I tried to get in touch with him nigh before but only got his voice mail. He told me he was too tired from work and didn’t bother to listen to his messages. What work?!

Then I told him about the lock and how I had to call a locksmith and I had to pay with my credit card. I hinted that I would like to get paid back and he hit the roof. How dare I think he would pay for a locksmith when it was obviously my fault. And who authorized me to call a locksmith. I could have got the key out if I really tried and on and on.

As I fantasized my hands around his neck I also thought about quitting. I pictured myself on a street corner playing guitar for hand outs. Not a bad option, less stress in my life and the pay had to be better.





© Copyright 2008 Randy (rcarboni at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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