The worst pain ever

Thirteen years have passed
Since I've seen my Dad.
I've worked really hard to
Do the things I must do
So my children and I could visit
Meet their Grandpa and reminisce.
Dad passed away
June 1st, 2006, a Thursday.
He left this world by suicide.
We're all still asking "Why?"
I think he felt his illness was a burden
And this is how he would stop Mom's hurtin'.
I really wanted to hear him say
How much my chidrens' ways
And looks resembled my own
And how they have all grown.
I wanted to hear him say he's proud of me
For being the mother he knew I'd be.
I wanted him to meet
The one man who is so good to me
The one who will always be there
To love and cherish his daughter.
I wanted Mom and Dad to grow old
And tell the stories they told.
Mom's gonna need me now
And I don't even know how
To feel or arrange my life
So that it will all be alright.
While everyday gets better
And we're all getting through this together
We have so many years to go
Traditions will change and bonds will grow.
Time will start to heal
Surreal will become real.
All the way above the clouds
Daddy will look down and be so very proud.