For the Lord Dwells in Zion Part One

I

            Ah have no use for the outside world. Ah have everything you could never want. Rain and mud. That’s it. Morton Town. Mah home.
         There was a time when this place was nice. Ah could walk to mah neighbor’s without being sucked in the muck. Every house in town shining brightly under the warm sun. Hell, when we knew what the sun looked like. Ah know it wasn’t a dream. We don’t have dreams in Morton. Only rain and mud.
         A community once existed on this plot of land. And that damned rain was gone.

II

         He wouldn’t come out and she couldn’t push him. The unborn Elijah Wells was stuck there in his mother’s womb. God promised a boy to Pa and he was going to get it. He grabbed his knife and stood over Ma’s belly. Pa felt around for Elijah and when he was sure the boy wasn’t in the way, he cut. He ripped her open and dragged a slimy Elijah out.
         So excited was Pa, that he forgot to take his wife to a doctor. No, Pa left her with that gash and she died right there.
         He took Elijah inside and found a nice box to put him in. Pa wiped the blade on his shirt, cleaning away the blood, and then carved ELIJAH into the pine.

III

         Ah was alone a lot. Pa is out drinking again. For the first 12 or 13 years, ah was brought along. Now that he thinks ah can handle mahself, he just goes out with women.
         There’s nothing wrong with being alone. It allows me to get some thinking done. You know, about the world and life and death. But still, nothing can compare to a person to talk to. Ah’d like a mother.

The Ponderings of Elijah Wells

         The other day ah was sitting outside and this flock of ducks walked over to me. Ah ran inside and grabbed a loaf of stale bread and began feeding it to them. I noticed that one of the ducks, a smaller and thinner duck, wasn’t being allowed to eat. Whenever he’d get near the others, he would be chased away. Then ah saw his feathers. They were all ruffled and tattered looking, like the other ducks had been pecking him.
         Ah felt awful for him. That poor little guy was an outcast for no reason at all. They just shunned him, probably for being a little smaller. And to go so far as to attack him. Ah was disgusted. These ducks are just as bad as everyone else on this planet.

IV

         There was a knocking on mah door. That’s never happened. Looking out the window showed that it was little Philo Morrow. Ah’ve seen him standing outside with his father, the preacher. They sit out there yelling at passersby about the Lord.
         Ah’ve never been big on religion. Ah don’t even know about God. Maybe He exists, maybe He doesn’t. Ah keep that to mahself though.
"Hello, Philo.”
         “Hello, Elijah. I’d like to ask for your help.”
         Ah stared at him. Why would ah help someone ah don’t even know? “What?”
         “Well, my father and I are building a church. There were plans for the creation of one, but nothing ever became of it. I would like to ask you to give me a hand. “
         “Ah guess. Ah don’t have much else to do.”
         And ah did help. And it wasn’t so bad. Ah almost enjoyed having someone to communicate with. We spent a lot of time together after that. Kind of like friends.

V

         Ah was never the most social person. When ah was with Philo ah felt different though. He was kind of like me. Similar personalities and all. Ah liked sitting on the roof of that church and talking.
         “Why are we always up here? ah asked.
         “I don’t know. There’s just something about it that makes me feel at peace.” Ah got a lot of that from him. I don’t know for everything. Never a definite answer.
         Ah guess it’s okay. Ah like watching these people.” Ah really did. It was the perfect spot, up on that hill. Ah mainly wanted to watch one person. Mary Ellen Gibbs.
         She was the mayor’s daughter and the most beautiful thing ah’ve ever seen. Anytime ah saw her she was smiling and happy. She was glowing. Like the skies opened up because the sun wanted to make her look even better.
         Ah wasn’t one to approach others, so ah didn’t expect to ever talk to her. Ah didn’t much want to. Ah’d be too embarrassed. She’s caught me staring at her on more than one occasion. Why would she talk to some voyeur?
         But she did. She came to church every week with her family. The mayor was always up front. His massive son, Crowley, was always to his left and Mary Ellen to his right. One day, after Preacher Morrow’s sermon, she talked to Philo and that moron brought her up here. She was even more beautiful up close. That sparkle in her eyes had me mesmerized.
         “Elijah, this is Mary Ellen” he said with a sly grin. Ah had told him about mah little crush. God, ah hated introductions.
         “Hello, Elijah!.”
         “Hi.” Ah was a little shy. Ah usually am. Especially around a pretty girl.
         “How are you? Oh—I’m so sorry. Please excuse me. I forgot my brother down below. I really shouldn’t keep him waiting. And she was gone.
         We sat there, a little confused, watching as Mary Ellen and that Crowley, strolled down the hill.

The Ponderings of Elijah Wells, pt. ii

         Ah’ve been thinking. What’s out there? The heavens? Stars? Other life?
         The only thing ah know for sure is we’re all going to die. Ah don’t how, but we all gotta.
         Philo was telling me how one day, God will come down and end it all. End this experiment called existence.
         Ah don’t think we’ll make it another thousand years. That scares me.

The Ponderings of Elijah Wells, pt. iii

         Ah’m too paranoid. Whenever Pa is out and ah’m all alone, ah begin to imagine how ah could die. The washroom is always the worst place to be.
         Ah was sitting in the tub, washing mah hair. The door flew open and a man storms in. His knife slides through mah neck and chest. Mah bath water turns a little red.
         Ah was sitting in the tub, washing mah hair. Ah finish up and get dried off. Ah open the door to find a man standing there, waiting. His knife slides through mah neck and chest. Mah floor turns a little red.
         Mah fears aren’t limited to that room though.
Ah was sitting in the chair, staring at the ceiling. Mah window smashes open. A man jumps through and unloads a buckshot between mah eyes. Mah chair turns a little red.
         Or maybe while ah’m, sleeping, someone slips in and captures me. Ah’m locked in his house and ah’m tortured. Mah life slowly ripped away. And ah don’t get a chance to say good bye to the people ah love.

VI

Me: Hi, Pa.
Pa: Hello, Elijah. How was your day?
Me: It was fine. It’s obvious how yours was. You reek of piss and booze.
Pa: I haven’t drunk anything yet today. That’s yesterday’s.
Me: Of course
Pa: What does that mean?
Me: All you do is drink or go out and drink.
Pa: I do it to relieve stress.
Me: What stress?! You don’t even have a job!
Pa: The stress of raising you.
Me: You don’t raise me.?
Pa: She died giving birth to you. This is the most we’ve talked in months.
Pa: I’ve not had an easy time getting over your mother, you know.
Me: What exactly happened to her
Me: What was her name?
Pa: Don’t worry about it.
Me: I can’t even know mah mother’s name?
Pa: Not now.
Me: How did she die, Pa?
Pa: She died giving –
Me: Is that the truth?
Pa: No. No, it’s not.
Me: What happened?
Pa: I cut you out of her and left her to die.
Me: How do you live with yourself?
Pa: I drink.
Me: You’re a disgrace. You don’t deserve to call yourself a father, let alone a man.

VII

         The only other eighteen year olds ah know are Philo and Mary Ellen. It’s a good thing we’re all friends. Ah’m still in love with that girl. Ah think Philo is too. Ah know he is. We’ve both been on dates with her.
         Ah believe that ah am winning. Ah really don’t understand why we’ve even allowed this to go on.
         Ah found Crowley's diary today.

The Diary of Crowley Lazarus Gibbs

         Today I went down to the well and I captured some small animals and I threw them down the well. A rabbit was fighting a lot so I grabbed it by the head and I smashed it on the side of the well and I watches as its little head popped like a pimple against the rocks. It was a lot easier to do that so I bashed all of their heads on the rocks. No one has used this well since that drunk idiot Wells hung himself.

VIII

         Mary Ellen and ah were going to the lake today. A lovely day ah imagine. Sitting by the water. Feeling the wind blowing through out hair. The view up there was incredible. Ah probably won’t see much of it. Ah’ll be admiring her beauty.
It was a god damn gorgeous day. Maybe it was a below average day and mah anticipation made it into a god damn gorgeous day. Everyone was out and about today. Ah even greeted some of them. Of course, it was a little awkward thanks to Pa, but ah guess ah can look past it.
         Ah strolled down the road and to the mayor’s house. It was a cozy place. Nothing like mine. It is actually well kept. Nice lawn. It’s not covered in dust and dirt. Mrs. Gibbs was cooking. You could tell by the smoke flowing from the pipe. Ah ate there once. God awful. Tasted worse than a dog’s ass. She’s lucky she’s good looking. Ah won’t even let Mary Ellen cook for me, for fear that she picked up her mother’s skills.
         Lucky me. Mayor Gibbs was out on the porch. “How are you doing today, sir?” ah asked.
         “Just fine” he said back. “Just go on in.”
         “Thank you.” And in ah went. It had been a while since ah had been in there. Ah forgot how damn nice it was. It was coming back to me. Something about this place makes you never want to leave. Like it puts a spell on you. That’s why ah haven’t been inside in a while. Ah don’t to spend the rest of mah like in one place.
So ah stood there, leaning against the wall, waiting for mah Mary Ellen. Crowley caught me first. “Hello, Crowley.” Ah thought greeting him would make me look better.
         He nodded.
         “How are you?”
         “Fine.” He stared me down. Obviously, Crowley didn’t much care for me. There was one occasion when ah was running and ah slammed right into him. Keep in mind; he’s never really liked me. So he did what any sophisticated man in this day and age would do, he beat mah ass. Ah woke up the next day in the Morrow Church with Philo sitting next to me. Turns out, he was on the roof, saw me get the shit kicked out of me, and then came and collected up mah remains. A good friend, he is. He fed me and we talked about our run-ins with that monster, Crowley Lazarus Gibbs.
         Philo told me a good one. The preacher and he were up north a tad, up at the sugar beet farm. They were converting them colored workers or something. Ah don’t know. On that day, Philo discovered that Crowley had a part time job. He was the overseer. He didn’t “oversee” jack. That title was just his excuse to hit someone. And boy, did he like to use that excuse.
Philo got in the way of the “work” once. He tried to help one of those people. In return, he got hit with a big square fist, right in the chest, and the words “You’re lucky you’re whit.” Don’t interfere with Crowley’s work.
         Ah got a hell of a kick outta that. Then he told me the rest of the tale. When Crowley became too invested in his career, people died. Philo recalled a conversation with a negro.
         “Is this normal behavior?” Philo asked with his first breath since suffering the blow.
         “No. He must be in a good mood.”
         “What do you mean?”
         “I mean, he let you off east. If you catch ‘im on a bad day, you better not screw up. You give ‘im the slightest reason to kill you an’ he will.”
         “Kill?”
         “Is there something you’re not getting, son? You need proof or something? Try the shed.”
         “I will! That you, sir, and good luck to you.”
         “Bring with you an empty stomach.”
         Philo snuck around the property until he found where the shed stood. He could’ve just smelled his way there. It stunk. He opened the door and like a punch in the dace, a stink so awful that it could only belong to a great sin.
         Bodies piled. Carefully filed by cause of death. One stack, decapitation, the next, bled to death. Over there, what looks like head trauma. That one, that one is tough to judge. They’re covered in bruises and cuts, but they don’t look bad enough. Maybe they just couldn’t take it anymore and their poor hearts gave up.
         Philo vomited.

         “Could you tell Mary Ellen that I’m here?”
         “Fine.” He walked off to the back and several seconds later, she came out to replace him. “Hello, Elijah!” she said as she ran over to hug me, like she always did. Ah’m not a touchy kind of guy. Ah honestly hate it. Ah let her do it just so ah can be close to her. So ah can smell her. To feel her warmth. Just being near her was intoxicating.
         “Are you ready to go to the lake?” ah asked her.
         “Yes. I’m just going to tell Crowley I’m leaving. Could you wait for me outside?”
         “Sure.” This wasn’t the first time this has happened. Ah don’t understand why she can’t just say bye and leave. So ah left.
         “Hello again, sir.”
         “Hello, Elijah. What’s she got you waiting for?”
         “The lord only knows.”
         “Let me give you a little advice. Have a seat, son.” Ah sat on the bench across from him. “Now listen carefully. This is something my father passed on to me. Fight for you woman! I know what’s been going on between you and Philo. How could you let that happen?”
         “What do you mean?”
         “You know damn well what I mean. The two of you, sharing my daughter! I like you, Elijah. That’s why I’m saying this. Don’t let her keep playing you. You sit her down and tell her to pick one.”
         “But ah couldn’t do that to Philo. He’s mah best friend.”
         “Shit, boy. What are you, queer? You’ll make other friends. This is a woman we’re talking about, God’s gift to man. Cherish her. Make her yours.”
         “Thank you, sir.” We sat there in an awkward silence until Mary Ellen finally popped out. “Good bye, sir.” He nodded.
         “Good bye, Daddy.”
         Finally, we were leaving. Ah just wanted to lie in the grass, stare off into the water, and forget about everything. That’s the way you always want it to be, but when is it ever?
         We were walking down the road, kicking up dirt. We were talking and laughing, and there he was, good ole Philo. We locked eyes and ah felt ah would come to regret doing this.
         “How are you, Philo?” ah said.
         “I’m fine. And you?”
         “Just dandy. What are you doing out here?”
         “I was just going for a walk. Are you going to the lake?”
         “How did you know that?”
         “Mary Ellen told me yesterday.”
         Ah looked to her and she said “Philo wanted to know if I had plans and I told him we were going to the lake. Would you like to join us, Philo?”
         Ah had to jump in quickly. “No, I’m sure Philo has plans today.” Ah glared at him.
         “He’s right. I’m very busy today.” Ah could tell by his tone that ah hurt him a bit. “Maybe I’ll catch up with you sometime later.” We said our goodbye’s and then he stood there waving as we walked on.
         Ah felt bad about doing that to, really, mah best friend. It didn’t feel right, but ah though ah would give Mayor Gibb’s advice a shot. Ah can always just apologize to him later.  Mah day was already feeling better. Warm sun above us. A light breeze blowing against our skin. And up ahead ah could see the big tree. The big tree we’ll sit under and look out at the lake.
         Ah lied down in the grass, under the cover of that big tree. Mah hands went behind mah head and ah stared up at the sky. Ah haven’t been here nearly enough. Ah forgot Mary Ellen was even there because it was so relaxing. But she reached out and placed her soft, delicate fingers on mah chest. Her touch brought me back to reality.
         “Are you just going to lie there, or would you maybe rather talk to me? Ah don’t know what that was about. She could’ve tried relaxing as well.
         “Ah’m sorry, dear. Ah got a little lost.”
         “Oh, so…”
         “What?”
         “What happened back there, with Philo?
         Damn. Ah had to sit up. “Ah think it’s about time we put an end to all this. You know exactly what ah mean by that. It’s time to choose.”
         “I know… I’m sorry I’ve put you through this. Can I have a little longer please. I will have an answer for you tomorrow. I promise.”
         “Alright. This is a little disrespectful to everyone involved and ah would like the situation resolved as soon as possible.”
         “I’m sorry. It’s just tough when you’re in love with two wonderful men.” She looked into mah eyes and have me an awkward smile.
         Ah just couldn’t be mad at her. “Ah love you too.” Ah closed mah eyes and dozed off.

         “Elijah!” Someone was shaking me. “Elijah! Wake up!”
         “What is it, Mary Ellen?”
         “I can hear someone screaming. Should we go help?”
         Ah could hear it now too. Maybe half a mile away. “Let’s go. We can’t just let it go.” And then we ran. Ah was so concerned that ah forgot about how out of shape ah am. We weren’t even halfway there before ah was huffing and puffing. This better be serious and not just some kids screwing around.
         It was serious. Ah didn’t know this right away though. Ah tripped and hit mah head on a rock and was knocked unconscious.

         Mary Ellen pulled Elijah’s limp body behind a bush. She hid there and watched what was unfolding. It was Crowley and Philo. Philo was on the ground and he was bloody.
         Crowley stood over him with one large boot pressing on his chest. “What did I tell you?”
         Philo struggled to breath.
         “I told you to never say another word to her! I told you that if you ever speak to her again, I’d kill you.” He lifted his foot.
         After a long and struggled breath, Philo yelled “Save me, Lord!”
         Crowley laughed. “Save me, Lord! Save me, Lord! he yelled mockingly. He kicked Philo in the ribs. Philo let out a terrible scream. He knew that the only thing that would save him was an act of God.
         “Help me rise up and defeat my foe!”
         Crowley punched him in the throat. Philo clutched his neck and gasped for air. “It was funny at first, but one can only take so much.” Crowley reached inside of his filthy jacket and pulled out an old flintlock pistol. “You can only take so much.” He aimed.
         “Crowley! No!” Mary Ellen leapt from her cover in order to stop him. “How could you?” Tears were forming in her eyes.
         “I’m so sorry, Mary Ellen. I didn’t mean for you to see this.”
         “But I did. How could you do that to a person?” The tears ran down her cheeks. Crowley’s head dropped and he fell to his knees. He was upset and maybe, for the first time, remorseful.
         Philo stumbled to his feet and brushed some of the dirt from his clothes. He closed his eyes and stood there, head to the sky. When they opened, you could see a change. He was holding the flintlock. “Joel 3:21. And I will avenge their blood which I have not avenged, For the Lord dwells in Zion.” And now, a lead ball dwelled in Crowley’s brain.

The Diary of Crowley Lazarus Gibbs, pt ii

         Today I went to Mary Ellen’s room and I grabbed her by the throat and I said to her, You better not have told anyone. Then I threw her on the floor. I threw her hard and she smacked her head on the floor. She was crying and I yelled, Stop crying, at her but she didn’t stop crying so I kicked her in the ribs and she coughed and tried to breath. I said to her, You better stop crying now, and she did. I told her I was sorry and started taking her clothes off then I touched her and then I had sex with my sister. I threw her away and told her to get herself together and I left.


"For the Lord Dwells in Zion Part Two"