The melodrama of essays

What will it take to use the last 20 years of my life to finish what needs to be done? It often seems that my life hangs in a precarious waiting game; a battle with myself. It is trivial enough...all I have to do is finish writing the two enormous scientific and law term papers that are both due this coming Tuesday... in 5 days to be exact. PLENTY of time to gather my data, make my hypothesis and draw my conclusions. Stuff the desired easy "A" in the bag, then continue on with my life until I hit the next wall of obligations set out by the university.



That's all



If I made excuses for myself, I could pick one of the following:



- I had an emotional breakout last night with my mother

- I have been going full-force all semester, for the past 3 years and I'm losing steam

- I am pacing myself, I've already written a few good outlines

- I am laying the foundation for my future by writing creatively on a website

- I'm doing laundry

- my cat is making me do it by making me wish I was her



You may be wondering how I am going to end this short piece. I would like to know that answer as well. Let's read on and see what I come up with, shall we?



I have been in school since I was 4. I'm now 28... that's a long time. I did have about a year and a half doing a mixture of work and mourning, and enjoyed a fair bit of travel. One thing that I am concerned with is how I will manage to withhold a job when all of my life thus far has been a process of rapid change, high performance demand, and desperate lurching bouts of procrastination. It is tempting to become a teacher just to keep pace with the world I know. The Western world that I live in allows me the indulgence of admitting that I'd be better off on another career path because teaching might not make me happy all of the time. It's hard to tell.Just as long as I can save the world with it, then be in the bath-tub at the end of the day. Hopefully by then I will have finished these damn papers.