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thoughts neede to escape |
The pungent smell of cigaretts filled the car. The battered interior carried a lifetime of memories some cherrished, others not soon to be forgotten. The hum of the engine, and the asault of rain on the window shield were the only constant thing in my life. Ive sat here at the corner of North and Thirteenth for what seemed like hours. I occupied myself watching the stoplight transition through its brilliant three color rainbow. The lights mesmerize me for the moment, carrying my troubles away. Head lights from the car opposite me pull me out of the trance. The car comes to rest as it waits for the light to change, from here i can see the occupants. Two kids young and probably in love, on their way home from a night out on the town. What i would give to have the freedom to be as careless as them. Their car creeps forward and as fast as they came they are gone and out of my life, or what was left of it. I reach up to the visor and grab for my cigaretts and they fall to the floor along with a scrap of paper. I pick it up and see the beginings of a note. The numbers still visible yet incomplete, missing the other scrap of paper. I crumple the piece and grab my cigaretts cursing under my breath as i light the last one. I recline my seat just a bit and let my thoughts drift away with the smoke and dissapear. I had all the traits of a peacful sleep. My slow steady breaths and the drum of my heart against my rib cage helped me keep the time. The ashes of my latest death stick smoldered, the scent hung in the air above me. I notice how the rain conducts its own symphony on the body of my car. I let my mind create a scale and i lay there as the notes dance around me. My mind comes to a stand-still and the notes slowly fade away. I used to hope that someone or something could rescue me from this meaningless existance. I eventually accepted the fact that the day will probably never come. I finally gave up on the hope of being rescued and the relization was finally setting in. I open my eyes to the blinding sun that had just engulfed the interior of my car. Two things I instantly notice, the time on the dash says 2:37am and two i was about to die. ( I then decided to make a list of four things I was absolutley sure of. One I have without a doubt started to loose my mind. Two I have a nicotene addiction. Three I haven't seen a single member of my family in over a year. Four, the world as I knew it had just dissapeared.)- fit in somewhere |