Seven

The school was big. It looked like there were at least 500 students. Maybe more. It was the biggest school I'd ever been in. And of those 500+, I only had three friends. And I'm not even sure if I can really label them that. I transfered around November, so everyone already had their cliques and groups of friends. For most of that year I had a D in Math and Science. Why? I just didn't get it. And no one would help me. I was afraid of my Math teacher because she would yell at us. I've always struggled in Math, and having that teacher didn't help. I didn't get bad grades because I was lazy. I was just lost, with no one to help me find my way. In class people would cuss and I would ask them not to do that, and they'd say: " Oh yeah, your that Christian girl." I didn't deny it because I knew I was doing the right thing. But sometimes it seemed like I was the only one who cared about doing what's right. In English there was this guy named "T". At least thats what everyone called him. He never did his work, cursed up a storm, and talked back to the teacher. And she didn't do anything. I had a friend who sat behind me and she told me that she thought he was "cool". I told her that she shouldn't look up to him or give him praise because he obviously wasn't heading in the right direction. She started to hang out with him and never spoke to me again. But the worst part was the "Bully Box". You could put complaints about people in the box and some of your fellow peers would confront the person in question. I was put in there by Courtney, who I thought was my friend. Her complaint? She said that I had been mean to her because of her faith, when, a month ago mind you, all I had asked was: "Are you a Christian?" And she had said yes! She was just mad at me for some reason or another and she used that conversation as her excuse. So during History I get pulled out of class and was given a Don't be a Bully pamphlet by my "peers". They weren't my peers. They didn't even know me! Or what kind of situation this was. I'd walk back into the classroom and people would laugh at me, when I had done no wrong. I was put in there several times, all by Courtney. She was mad because I didn't want to hang out with her anymore because she was bossy. Every time I was taken outside I would try to hide the pamphlet... and try not to cry. One day all of this drama actually made me physically sick and my mom had to pick me up early. Since I transfered late, my picture wasn't even in the yearbook. It was as if for that year, I hadn't even existed. I can't tell you how happy I am to be away from that place, but I guess the positive is that I survived. I survived embarrassment. I survived cruelty and misunderstanding. I survived 7th grade. And another thing... since I didn't have any friends, I started to read a lot. Books were my companions. And that got me writing again. So I guess I have everyone in that school to thank for that. Now after looking back, I turn my eyes forward. Never forget your past. But don't let it hold you back from your future. From Today.



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In about 5th grade there was a girl named Emily who started to hang out in my group of friends. I treated her awfully. Why? Because I was scared she was going to take my friends. Stupid, right? I regret every thing I said that was mean. Or any way that I treated her differently. She goes to my best friends school, and my friend said she has her email address. I'm not sure what I'm going to say... just beg for forgiveness. Hopefully that will lift the load off my heart that has been there for over six years.



I believe that we all have been the "bully" to someone. Personally, the reason for being a bully is insecurity, or lack of love. Courtney was insecure. Just as I had been with Emily. I forgave Courtney, even though she didn't ask for it. I hope Emily forgives me. And I hope that you forgive those who bully you. Because we've all been there before. Don't beat yourself up about what you've done wrong in the past. Just learn from it so that you can better your future.



-A fellow human who has made mistakes