Holes in my heart

I'm still surprised by how cold you can be,
when the only one who has stood by you is me.
The old adage tells us 'Ignorance is bliss',
and you above all people can confirm this.

Your attitude drives everybody away,
you must know that I love you because still I stay,
yet your actions and words pull us further apart,
and our every fight rips great holes in my heart.

You're rude and you're lazy; it drives me insane,
but you don't seem to care when my eyes fill with pain,
and my protests and anger are brought to a halt,
when you somehow convince me that its my own fault.

Grow up, you are turning me into your mother!
I cook and I clean and I care like no other,
it started as kindness but now you expect it,
and I am supposed to just smile and accept it?

When I ask you for help you present an excuse,
you think doing your share is a form of abuse,
you tell me how you have had such a hard day,
as though my hours at work were all laughter and play.

Every damn night your routine is the same,
get home - then spend hours playing computer games.
I wait to be noticed for nights without end,
and I long for the days when we used to be friends.

Whenever I mention this you interrupt me,
but I can't remember the last time you fucked me.
I yearn for your touch but you don't seem aware,
and in bed you behave like I'm not even there.

So many times now I have wanted to leave,
but you always convince me to grant a reprieve,
you swear that you love me - thats why you proposed,
but your actions and words are directly opposed.

Your laziness causes each one of our fights,
and it wouldn't take much for you to make things right,
but you won't, and that hurts more than anything else;
because you love me far less than you love yourself.