Darkness

I close my eyes as the voices continue..
We want...we need....I'm hungry...I don't like
why haven't you yet, you don't enough
why isn't that done yet?
I hate you, you don't care
Take care of, do this..do that
the same voices going on..
always wanting, always demanding
critisizing, scrutinizing

Until finally, something snaps and the mask fall,
unable to hide any longer
the pain the voices cause...
tears streaming down my cheeks and still
the voices continue their onslaught, their attacks,
theit blames...
and in the middle of all this
there is this small voice, quiet, timid..
asking
what about me? what about how I feel?
what I want?
my fears, my dreams, my needs?

what about it the loud voices ask?
nothing of that matters...
so what you are supposed to,
take care of this, do that, finish this..do more of that
less of that...make sure that ....

on and on, the only light being the whisper of the darkness
its promise to make it end...
all I have to do is lay down
close my eyes
stop the beat of my heart
let the air out of my lunges and don't draw it back

and then, peace will come, silence..
gone will be the onslaught
of demands and accusasions...
only peace and silence will remain
only darkness.

But each time I shake it off...draw strength to rebuild the walls
to once again put on the masks that hide
my fear, my pain, my anguish
and allow me to function,
to do as the voices demand
until again it becomes to much
and I break down
the masks falling, leaving me in tears,
vulnerable, open for the voices to see what they do

each time, the darkness beckons
its promise sweeter, more tempting
each time it is harder to refuse, to pull back

Will the voices realise what is happening
before it is too late
before I succumb to the darkness?

Darkness so sweet,
so sheltering, nurturing

maybe I should just lay down
succumb to it
close my eyes
and end it.

Maybe....