Sinking Relation Ship

People make jokes and rude comments about their wives. “The old ball and chain” is a classic. The wives do it too of course. I pretend to sympathise with them, and roll my eyes when I hear a man do it. Yet there has to be some reason why they got married. Surely some couples in this world do love each other? I find that harder to believe now after what happened of course. With Rich I think the passion just went out of it with the passage of time, like sand draining out of an hourglass.
“Claire” is the word he began his suggestion to me with. First sign of trouble, using my name in a pointed way. I started wondering what he was trying to emphasise.
“I want you to tell my wife that I’m having an affair with you” he continued. We were at the office, both working late. We often did that. It was a nice feeling. Having the office to ourselves. Free to gossip about or insult our co-workers without having to face the consequences. Strange how I never wondered if he ever did that with me. He must have seen my equally pointed expression.
“It’ll work. She already thinks it’s happening. She just needs a push in the right direction.”
“That’s not my problem. I don’t know why I bother with you sometimes. Paula’s my friend. Why should I be the one to do it anyway?”
He sighed. We both knew why, and we both knew explaining it in a way that didn’t make him look like the bad guy would be impossible. I guess he choose an honest approach.
“Look, ok, so I want you to get some of the blame. We don’t actually have to have an affaire.”
“You just want to hurt her?” My in-credulousness was real. Of course I knew he was sick of her. I knew he was willing to do something like that to her. I certainly knew he’d try to avoid blame. I was just shocked and insulted that he would ask me to take the responsibility.
“Number one, you aren’t her friend. You just hang out with her because I do. Number two, if you tell her and then I confirm it she’s more likely to believe it. If I just go to her alone I don’t think I’ll be able to stop my self from laughing. I’m not that good an actor. Finally, I’m just asking you.”
“Why me?”
“Because I trust you. Who else do you think would do it? Be kind ok?”
“To you or her?”
“Does she want me? Is it a good idea for her to stay with me?”
Was he just using every line he could think of to make me do it? If so he wasn’t very good at it, but, let’s face it, he had a tough job. He wasn’t shouting before asking if I thought it was fair to let them stay together, but his voice had suddenly dropped. Taken on a weary tone. He and Paula had been happy at first, but the years had taken their toll. Their first child killed their family. IVF was their only route to having a baby, and even that didn’t work the first time. Or the second. When it eventually did come, the baby only gave them three months of total happiness. Then she died. So did other things. Paula could never bring her self to talk about it. Rich told me the whole story. Different ways of coping with pain I suppose. Paula couldn’t even discuss it with her own self. She hung up on the grief, like she would do to someone trying to sell her something over the phone. Instead she worked. She was never around. It’s no wonder Rich needed someone else. People need company. I was his. He had to get hope and advice and affection from someone. I knew I couldn’t let them separate completely though.
“Why do you feel it’s necessary to trick her?” I asked.
“I can’t just divorce her. The only way you know everyone’s talking about you, is if they stop the moment you enter the room. She’d be forever wondering if they were judging her. You know how proud she is. Give me one reason why this won’t work. Not why it’s immoral, or why it shouldn’t be you who does it. Why won’t it work?” he replied. I had run out of excuses. It was over after all. I just didn’t want it to end like this. The fact that it ended at all was irrelevant. I hated being the one who had to tell him, but I was out of options.
“Because she’ll think your just saying it because you found out. She won’t believe you. She’ll think it’s just jealousy.”
He asked me what I meant by that, but his voice and face told me he knew the answer already.
“I know the guy. He felt guilty. I guess that’s why he told me. He’s a lot like you in that respect Rich. You see, she has already thought of having an affair. Except she’s doing it for real.”