Judas

Judas smiled as he felt the coins jingle in his hands. Tonight had been a good night for him. The dices had been good to him. Now he could some of the costs they had accrued. He frowned. Matthew was starting to seem almost suspicious- came with being a tax collector- you can cheat everyone else, but no one could cheat you. Well whatever Matthew thought, it was good that he now had some money to use for the group. Though he still had that debt- not now, later. He still had several weeks before they left for Jerusalem and once there, there would be more opportunities. Perhaps more enthusiastic fools willing to give coins to the oh-so-wise Rabbi. Well that suited Judas just fine.

He thought back to when he had first started following Jesus. There were whispers that he was the Messiah- the one who would save them all from the Romans. And the young Judas, tired of his immoral life-style, had gone to see this Savior. And he had been sucked in- eager to change the world, to make a difference. But then weeks, months had gone by, and all the Rabbi did was talk and talk and talk. Though Judas had to admit that they way he ripped into those Pharisees- well, Judas had enjoyed that. Still, he was not the king that Judas had looked for- who would lead them into battle, and allow Judas to let go of his past and become someone of worth on the battlefield.

Judas had lost interest- probably would’ve left altogether, if it wasn’t for the money. People handing gifts to the Rabbi right and left- and none of the other disciples cared to manage all that money; they were too immersed in the Rabbi. Judas had only taken control to make sure that they didn’t take advantage of the Rabbi, but soon he had discovered the wonderful potential in having that money, with no one caring what he did with it. And it wasn’t like they missed the money. He always provided some if some was needed, but so many people fed and housed the Rabbi and he had such simple needs, that Judas was basically free.

Arriving at the humble dwelling where the Rabbi was staying for the night, Judas pushed the door open quietly. The man inside turned to look at him. Judas nodded to the Rabbi, and cautiously weaved his way among the slumbering people lying on the floor. Curling up in a corner on his own mat, he stared at the wall and pulled his cloak over him, pretending to sleep. It was strange had the Rabbi never seemed to sleep. This was not the first time Judas had slipped out after supper, murmuring about money affairs, and this was not the first time he had come back to find the Rabbi still awake, sitting alone in the dark. It was unnerving how absorbed he seemed, never moving much, but smiling some times, and weeping other times. It all made Judas uncomfortable.

The Rabbi always made Judas feel uneasy. The rest of the disciples, he was certain he could fool. But the Rabbi- Judas turned a little on the floor with the unsettling feeling that Jesus might be watching him. You never knew with the Rabbi. Sometimes they would be laughing at something all together, and he would look around affectionately and then his face would suddenly go somber, as if he knew something they didn’t. Most of the time the others didn’t notice, but Judas had made it a habit to be observant.

And Judas was pretty sure that he did know. The way that he looked at him- he had to know. What Judas never understood was why he never said anything. But then that was the Rabbi- you could never tell. He was the only one in the group that Judas could respect, the only one who wasn’t a slave to the laws and conventions. It made him unpredictable- something that was dangerous for Judas, but which he found refreshing in his life. Slowly, Judas nodded off to sleep as his thoughts became a muddle.



Jerusalem. Every Jew had been there, and it was still Judas’ favorite place despite the ubiquitous Roman presence. He frowned- there was still the matter of that debt. He only had until the day after the Passover. It wasn’t much time- the Rabbi had decided not to come until the last minute- and he still owed five months wages. The people here hadn’t been very generous, even though they had hailed the Rabbi as he had entered. Hypocrites. Well, despite them, he had 30 silver pieces to find.

“…would react if we took Jesus in public. After we have him, it will be no problem to sway the crowd. What I would give to get him on his own.” Judas paused. Jesus was not an uncommon name, but nowadays, if anyone spoke of a Jesus, especially if he was a Pharisee, it was probably about the Rabbi.

“You know he is always followed everywhere by a crowd and he always has his disciples with him.” Judas raised an eyebrow. If only they knew his habit of wandering off to pray by himself. Maybe there would be something in this for him. Cautiously, he approached the two Pharisees.

“Excuse me.” He ignored their disdaining looks. “I could arrange a private engagement with the Rabbi Jesus for you, for a suitable sum.” Suspicion flared.

“Who are you?”

“Judas Iscariot, disciple of the Rabbi Jesus.” He saw the interest in their eyes.

“And you can arrange for us to… meet Jesus in private?”

“For a sum.”

“How much?”

Judas wondered how much they would pay. Why not start off the bargaining with what he needed: “Thirty pieces of silver.”

He saw one of the Pharisees start with surprise at the large number, but the other one merely nodded. “Alright. Passover. Bring us to him that night. Come after the Passover meal to the house of Simon the Pharisee and we will pay you then.”

Even as the Pharisees walked away, Judas felt uneasy. Why was the Pharisee so willing to pay such a large sum just to meet Jesus? Surely it was not that simple. He pushed the thought aside. It wasn’t for him to try and discern the reasoning of a Pharisee. What mattered was that Jesus was going to pay his debt for him.