Evergreen Friend

Evergreen Friend

I don’t really know why I went to the house of a dead girl I couldn’t stand in life; I just went. My mother wanted me go with her, and I suppose I felt badly for Sage’s parents. Maybe I went because I just felt guilty.

Sage Connor’s mom sat in front of a row of cardboard boxes. With her head cocked to one side, her glassy eyes kept locked in a dreamy stare. As if a hypnotist snapped his fingers and broke her reverie, she blinked at some newly surging tears and cried, “Oh, God, she’s really gone.". She buried her face in her hands. “I can’t do this.”

Mom stroked her friend’s narrow shoulder. “What can we do, Cheryl?”

I looked at the line of open boxes in the room. I noticed a familiar college text, laying inside one large box of books. “I could go through Sage’s old college boxes. Most of these are books that could be donated back to school. I can sort them out for you.”

Mom gave me a nod of approval. “And, I’ll go down and start dinner. The wake is tomorrow- you should go get some rest.”

Mrs. Connor rose to her feet and faced us. Mom hugged her, and then went downstairs to the kitchen. Mrs. Connor thanked me and said, “You were a good friend to her, Karen.” She left the room still weeping.

For a moment, I stood there, frozen like a child playing freeze tag. The truth is I wasn’t Sage’s friend. The last time I spoke to her was eight months before her accident. Even before that, I couldn’t stand her; she drove me nuts.

I forced my muscles to move and I looked around the bedroom. A pang of resentment plunged through me. Even from the grave, Sage’s overbearing presence surrounded me. The soft pink room was filled with pretty things that sang the praises of Princess Sage. Her four poster canopy bed, the beauty pageant trophies, her sappy poems framed on the wall, perfume bottles lining her ivory vanity and the silky tops and skinny jeans that hung in her closet. All were sick reminders of her annoying perfection. But, none of that seethed me more than her betrayal. She deserved what she got.

I gave the box of books a hefty kick and shoved it forward on the hardwood floor. I hissed under my breath, knelt over the box, and grabbed the text book. Beneath it were stacks of college textbooks, folders containing term papers, and old notebooks. I separated them and continued onto the next box, placing new labels on the old boxes. The bottom of the last box was lined with cheesy romance novels, and I rolled my eyes at the image of Sage reading them, wearing a satin robe, snuggled on big fluffy pillows on her pink canopy bed, and imaging herself as the sexy heroine. My stomach flipped at that image.

Then, I found a purple journal buried beneath the paperbacks. I picked it up and opened the front cover. The pages were filled with Sage’s neat handwriting. The first page read:

I arrived at Potsdam State today. Hurray! I am finally free. I love my dorm room. I painted it sage – of course, like my name…

It was Sage’s diary! I felt my eyes narrow. "It wasn’t sage, it was puke green." I recalled the day I moved into the dorm. Mom had arranged for me to room with an old friend’s daughter, so I would “know someone.” I didn’t know Sage- I’d only met her a couple times as a kid. We lived an hour away and went to different high schools. From day one, Sage followed me around and drove me mad.

My roommate is GREAT! Karen’s a blast and really smart. I can only hope to get as smart as her after I finish college.

I felt a flush burn my cheeks and realized I was smiling. I never knew she thought that.

Today Karen and I went to the library together. Karen introduced me to some fraternity boys. They were hot, but they didn’t pay attention to me. They all drooled over Karen. I’m not surprised though; she’s a cool person. One boy begged her to go to a party he was having. Karen said she would curl my hair for me tonight before we go downtown. It’s pledge week!

I remembered that night. I tried to convince Sage to pledge Alpha Kappa, secretly planning to pledge Omicron Xi myself. Except I never could go through with it and we both pledged Alpha Kappa.

Karen has a new boyfriend. His name is Roy. He’s kind of a jerk. She can do way better than him. She deserves better. Frat party is tomorrow night.

I clenched my teeth. Who was she trying to convince? I recalled her telling me that, but I knew she was just planning to backstab me.

Yesterday was the worst day of my life. I drank too much at the party. I was so sick and I just wanted to go home. Roy said he’d help me home and come back for Karen afterward. He didn't care that I was sick. He hurt me. I trusted him, but he hurt me…

My heart raced as I read Sage’s words. I remembered walking home by myself that night. I opened the door and saw them together. I felt sick. Sage’s writing detailed every horrible moment of the rape she suffered through that night.

I threw the book and watched it spin across the bare floor. I felt evil and sad and sick all at the same time. I swallowed hard and reached again for Sage’s journal. I read the final entry.

Karen won’t listen. I tried to talk to her- to tell her, but she’s so angry at me and hurt. Tomorrow is our last final. I HATE him for what he did to me, and I hate him for hurting Karen. I hope someday she’ll know- she’ll know my friendship is forever.

In springtime rain and summer’s roast
Through fall's harvest and winter's approach,
Never changing evergreen
Still in the frigid white snow
Strong limbs may slightly bow,
But always will they support the weighty load,
Of the heavy icicle sheening,
My friendship will forever be
Like the robust evergreen

***********************************************************

After Sage’s funeral, I drove to Potsdam. I drew the cell phone from my purse, stepped out of the car, and walked to the edge of the parking lot. I trudged through the deep snow until I stopped in front of my old dorm, in view of my old room's windows. Then, I dialed a number. The voice on the other end answered after just one ring:

“Lawrence County Police Department.”

“I’m calling to report a crime.”

Just then, I noticed beside me stood a spruce tree. Billowy piles of snow covered every limb. I reached up and clutched a branch, letting the cold needles stab my bare hand. I lowered the branch to force snow to tumble to the ground. I let go and the nimble branch sprang back, green as ever.