Ryan's Poetry (Please Read and Rate)

Lost Hope - First complete poem

I'm a hostage of my mind with no way out
i attempt to run fast without a doubt
i keep running and running then i start to pout
with no one at my side so i start to shout.

That's what happens when you live a life i live
where all you learn to do is give give give
sadly nice guys finish last that's what i know
i wish my life would end so i can go.

What i mean by go is to never be found
like a stolen puppy thrown into a pound
without any contact with feelings or sound
who has to sleep on the uncomfortable ground
for ever and ever some one please rescue me from this town.

I know that previous line was really lame but that's to prove a point that my lifes a game
where i try to act normal only I'm to insane to ever feel nothing but emotional pain

I think life is pointless and has no meaning being rich or poor
You come into life like a thief walking into an open door
we're all going to be leaving this world of nothing without a regret at all
i try to stand up for myself but all i do is fall

Heaven or Hell it doesn't matter to me
i wish Heaven was now instead of a dream i cant see
Hell on the other hand seems so scary
one second or one year its all the same
because it never ends like the wind blowing away.

My prayers aren't heard i still feel shame
for the way i treat my mom every night and day
she doesn't deserve it and one day ill pay.

I'll pay the price for all my sins
if im not forgiven i wont be let in
let into the Kingdom of Good
i guess i should just try hard to win
win some respect and throw my depression into a recycle bin.

Depression is impossible to throw away
because once it comes its there to stay
no matter how many times you pray
its like a disease with no cure working all a day.

I want to continue jotting more things coming from my head
but by the time i get all of the thoughts down ill be dead somewhere in a shed

People tell me i need to find love and some day have a wife
to feel better about myself and my messed up life
I'm to depressed for that I'm like an emo without the knife.

I guess this poem ends here now
maybe one day ill understand what i should do with myself
probably live on my own somewhere down...South?
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Friends Forever - For Cassandra Dobnak

Times come and go, but you always remember
The friends you once knew for ever and ever
Don't think I've for gotten, you were a best friend
I'm sorry for leaving i wish it didn't have to end

Six long years and you're still the nice person i used to know
Six long years of being away it sucked that i had to go
Always thinking of what it could of been if i never moved
Dwelling on the past is always depressing like a bad bruise

The bruise of emotional pain rather than a broken bone
Cheering me up when i talked to you on the phone
That time when i lost your number i walked to your house
I would walk a mile for you even if i was small as a mouse

I know this may sound corny and its boring to read
But i just write down my thoughts like its a good deed
So you could stop reading if you wish to
It's just these feelings i have are stuck like glue

If you want to contact me i would be delighted to chat
My computer is where i am usually at
But if you don't want to i wont be mad
Im used to misfortunes but its not all that bad
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[Not Finished] [Untitled] [Never going to Complete]

Happiness is over rated as it ends really quick
That gentle feeling inside makes me sick
Because its only to hide what you really wish
Like from that special person you wish you could kiss

If your true to yourself it will pay off sooner than you think
Don' beat yourself up like emo cuts leaking blood in the sink
If its meant to be you'll feel the magic
If not don't despair although its a tragic
You only live once stay away from the havoc

I know i act mean but its all just a scene
No body can help me, it feels like a dream
Was told not to dwell on the past but that's what i
The only answer to my problems is death i can see
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True Beauty - For Haley Manns [Okay yeah, this is very old, like people age so do emotions]

My goal was to meet someone to relate to
My goal is complete because i found you
A Little Piece? More like a Big Piece of Heaven
I haven't felt this happy since i was eleven

You mean more than everything in my life
Without you i should just get the knife
I know it may seem like its to soon
But i felt happy inside ever since noon

I had to see you so i just started to walk
I knew you where the one when we started to talk
You're life is worth everything to me and more
Ill still walk to see you even if my legs get sore

Who ever put us together is really great
What ever the reason, i think its fate
My heart is beating, beating really quick
But in a good way, its not like I'm sick

Your lips to mine were so divine
They tasted sweet like white wine
You are the perfect girl in my eyes
You make me shed tears and i never cry

I cry because i never felt so connected to anyone else before
Every word of this is from my heart i swear its for sure
Please never change because the way you are is what i adore
Those fries you bought for us where good from that store

If you ever have a problem you know who to talk to
You can call my house anytime if you're feeling blue
Please don't hide your emotions if you are scared
Your secrets safe with me and I'm always prepared

Prepared for new challenges that exist in everyday life
I hope we have a good relationship everyday and every night
When we were laying under the stars in the dark night sky
I felt like we were dreaming together where fun never dies

If you think its to soon to do you know what
I respect that because that's not all that i want
You mean so much more to me than just a sex bud
Our relationship isn't dirty like nasty old mud

If we never have sex than i don't care
I like you for you that's all i swear
I just want to hug you like a teddy bear
It was funny when those kids started to stare

If i didn't feel the way i say i do
I wouldn't be typing this just for you
Making you happy feels like my duty
These words are for my True Beauty

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Rest In Peace - For Dani

Some girl i thought i met in the Past
Special in many ways, re-met at Last
That cute smile and appealing Stare
That pretty shiny bright red Hair

Some girl in my weird life i thought i always Knew
She turns my frown upside down when feeling Blue
Yea it's sad but true, i knew her not to Long
And its sad but true, she is like that Song

Dani California, that beautiful Tune
Beautiful like a warm summer Afternoon
It's a Shame i doubt she feels the same Way
But being her friend is ok, surely ill Pray

She gives me the strength to love life once More
She is the only girl in this world that i Adore
If our friendship shall end it would be Tragic
I'm pretty sure it will last, i feel the Magic

Oh well, ill wait, Patience is the Answer
It just feels like trying to cure Cancer
No cure can cleanse this strong pain Away
I'm missing your company every single Day

I guess if its meant to be, it will Work
If its not meant to be, I'll surely Hurt
I will always be there, so just give me a Call
I will make it for you, even if i have to Crawl

I want you in my life so bad, my heart started to Bleed
If i were the tree of love, i must of been a bad Seed
But i accept my fate, and respect your Feelings
My heart stop bleeding, and it started Healing

It would be a miracle if we could be Together
Like turning the coldest day into warm Weather
I feel if we were together we'd be a good Team
You didn't lie, you did changed my Self-Esteem

You are amazing in so many ways, don't ever Forget
I pray you never do anything that you would Regret
Your soul is like a sheep with the prettiest Fleece
So gentle and warm, promise me you'll Rest in Peace

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Before I Depart - For Shannon Sethman

Its a shame i will be gone to some place unknown
No form of communication, well at least not phone
I may be missing my chance with some beautiful girl
Fate is so strange, I'm feeling so sad, I may hurl

Life is a mystery, sometimes it feels like a game
Like i just drawn a bad hand of cards, its so insane
This girl means so much to me, i just want her to know
Its true somethings die, even before they start to grow

It's like a miscarriage rather than an abortion
I want you Shann, all of you.. not just a portion
You mean so much to me, i really wish i could stay
You brighten up my life, now everything seems gray

My days seem very numbered, every second is closer to death
This January may be my last, i cherish every bit of breath
If all goes well, maybe it won't be to late to be with you
Never any guarantees, but know my feelings for you are true

I will do my best to survive and always be there
Dead or alive, cherish the moments we did share
Maybe i can see you at least one time before i depart
But if not, believe that you'll always be in my heart

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Struggle - For Shannon Sethman

I'm struggling to find that special one
It hurts.. Nothing is barely fun
Why must the world work like this
My heart is burning.. feels crisp

I'm struggling and in pain
My head, i feel a migraine
Like a cat sealed in a bag
Suffocating, what a drag

Death is the least of my worries
It's just that the time is in a hurry
Honey don't let me go, just take my hand
Before i get captured by the ku klux klan

To late to rip up this one way ticket
Everything is a wreck, i cant fix it
I guess i wont be happy its all to late
Ill do my time, Ill just accept my fate

Try to be happy with that special guy
Just be with that someone, i wont cry
No matter what, your special to me
You are perfect, one day you'll see