Nacho's Life

The life of a nacho should be shared by all. To tell this story, we've brought in A. Nacho. The following is an actual interview taken behind the concession stand at a movie theater.

Dressed in standard movie theater uniform of black slacks, a white, long-sleeved buttond down shirt, and a clip on bow tie, our interviewer Samantha fits right in! Finally isolated during a rush, Samantha begins her interview.

Samantha: You look incredible!
A. Nacho: I'm glad you think so.
Samantha: You sound so sad. Don't you like the way you look?
A. Nacho: It's a far cry from the way I used to look. I'm also fully aware that the end is near.
Samantha: Please, Mr. Nacho, share your journey with me.
A. Nacho [Clears its throat] Well, I once was a seed cradled beneath the warmth and protection of Great soil. I liked it there. It was here that I got my nourishment. Soon, I began to grow. I grew so much that I burst forth into the light!
Samantha: What was that like for you?
A. Nacho: A true miracle! This glow brought more warmth! I wanted to grow even more to get closer to this light! I grew and grew. Outside I was green, but inside I was gold! My roots continued to give me the nourishment I needed.
Samantha: Did you ever feel alone in the light?
A. Nacho: Never! I had family and friends growing right beside me! Some took longer to grow, others grew more rapid, but it didn't matter. We were a part of each other.
Samantha: At this point, did you worry about anything?
A. Nacho: Worry never crossed my mind. What should I be afraid of?
Samantha: Then what happened?
A. Nacho: I heard a noise one day, but I didn't think I was in any danger. Closer and closer the noise came. Then, in one swoop, the connection with my Mother was severed! I was grouped in a net with all my family and friends. We were loaded onto a platform and then darkness. Where were the stars?
Samantha: What was it like in this darkened state?
A. Nacho: Quiet. I can only guess they were trying to find the stars like me. I did hear a noise much quieter than the first noise, but still an unfamiliar sound.
Samantha: What happened next?
A. Nacho: The noise stopped. Then the darkness was gone and the sun shone in with no slow transition like before. We were taken inside a building that was louder than any of the sounds I heard before!
Samantha: How did you feel?
A. Nacho: I was terrified! Someone stripped me down and put me on a padded surface that moved. All I could do was lay there. The next thing I knew, I was...I was decobbed!
Samantha: Oh goodness! What's that like?
A. Nacho: I felt vulnerable and literally beside myself. The last thing I remember is seeing a flat piece of metal coming down fast at me.
Samantha: What's the next thing you remember?
A. Nacho: I remember waking up in an area with other non corn things. Though we were different we became one through experience.
Samantha [wipes the tears that fell]: what's your next memory?
A. Nacho: Being wrapped in plastic with my new friends. My friends and I were brought here. Now we wait.
Samantha: Wait for what?
A. Nacho: Wait to be put into tiny or large trays where we are then placed under a hot red light. Once we get picked, we got bathed in scorching hot cheese. If the burns don't do us in, the biting and swallowing will.
Samantha: Does anything happen after that?
A. Nacho: Not that I remember. All I know is that I'm cradled in the warmth and protection of Great soil again!
Samantha: As I place you into this tray, are you afraid?
A. Nacho: No. Because I'm one step closer to seeing my friends and family again.

And so Samantha places A. Nacho into the large tray feeling sad and strangely at peace.
Samantha, how was this interview for you?

"At first I thought it was ridiculous interviewing A. Nacho, but it turned out to be the best interview I've had so far!"

Now we learn why Samantha was chosen to interview a nacho.