Journey of the Cloth

This journey begins with a person who is open, minded too many possibilities in life.  The path that I was on turned black because of time turning into a refuge of stagnate energies.  I turn and to my left a new path a new experience the path is lightened by the opening of new possibilities.  I walk down this path now and clearly I see that my life will be transfigured by my own well being and turned upside down just by my own intensions and interests.  I look unto myself to see that I am still me and traveling through this time and space not alone but by myself.  I look and see myself walking and clinging to the past but yet ready to release these past endeavors and ready to learn from the new experiences.  I walk down this road and I see a row of some buildings. They look old but yet new like they have been remodeled but yet empty.  I look to my left and see that although I walk on my own I feel the air on my skin and feel my surroundings, what I see in this is a light post.  It looks old and been weathered.  It appears that there is a piece of plain white paper on it with the letter A in blue, this phase of my journey is complete, but yet feels as if it just started.

I walk further in this journey and walk to an empty field. In this field there is some growth but looks mowed down by a tractor one can speculate in this that I see.  My body although I feel fine still is in peril of many past afflictions.  My mind is burning with the sight of my body wrapped in red cloth and being lifted by an unseen force pulling me up and off the ground. I see this as I am standing outside of myself. I ask myself, “What is this vision you are giving me?”  There is no reply that I give myself but I feel comforted by what I feel in this. 

I watch a bit awestruck as my body is lifted further from the earth.  My head tilts back as if I cannot stop the gravity pulling at my head.  My arms are out stretched at my sides, and I see that there is a light ball glowing with in my body and moving up and out of my mouth.  As this happens I see my body has stopped moving up it is frozen as a statue.  The light ball moves up out of my mouth and shoots straight into the sky and becomes a star in the heavens.  I know that in my heart I released my fire within me in this.  As I see this play out before my eyes.  I look again at myself and I see my body disappear all at once and the red cloth that was on my body has now slipped off and landed on the ground.  I look and as soon as it touches the earth it turns black.

I walk to it, pick it up, feel it between my finger tips.  It feels as silky as blades of grass yet as rough as a tree trunk.  I take it with me into the house I am staying at and fold it and pack it away.  I take it with me to the next destination.  Is this a subconscious representation of my past hurts and wounds? Is this the earth that is represented in me that I bare myself and am ready to release my guilt into the earth for it to repair my spirit with this journey?  We shall see.

I am at the next place I have taken the cloth with me the black cloth.  I see myself go to the porch; I stand on the porch ready, willing to release this.  I have the black cloth in my hand I let the earth pull its energy into itself.  I release it and let it land on the ground.  I watch the cloth be consumed by the earth and release so many things as it disappears from my sight.  Then I look up into the sky and see something fluttering. Is it a dove?  Is it …. Oh what is it?  I put my hand out and let it gracefully land on my finger tips.  It is a white cloth.  I feel it, it is soft to the touch, and it smells like fresh baked cookies and roses, which remind me of times that those two smells have intertwined in my nostrils.  I take this lighter than air cloth and fold it and put it in my bra strap next to my heart on the left side.  I walk back inside and wait for the next thing to happen.  Things like someone coming for me enter into my mind’s eye as I lay there, along with just the next phase of this journey.

As the next phase does begin I travel back west and with this traveling I let the white cloth out and release it into the air as the vehicle glides as if it is on angel’s wings and it is pushed down the high way.  My arm stretched from the window I let the wind that swishes by take the cloth from my hand and pulls it up.  All at once it turns into a dove once more and takes flight and glides and sores in the breezes as it is taken up into the clouds behind me. 

My hand then turns back to the land and dips into the waters of this earth; from the bogs to the marshes, and to the rivers to the streams.  I pull my hand up and see that I have another cloth.  This one is blue, it looks almost metallic and shiny glistening from the sun light yet black as the shadows of the land stretches over it.  It is complete but as it is spread it is unable to handle the weight of my finger tip to its touch.  I place it in a cup and let it ride with me to the next adventure of this journey of the cloth.

In this phase I feel as if I am stealing the air that drifts along the water ways as I drift on the water.  Not sure a bit just going with the flow, if by chance the water carries me to open waters, or the ocean then I will float there until I find my spirit within me to release her and let her free to absorb the attention she is grieving for. 

I am full of emotion in this, tidal waves consume periodically as if I am fighting the currents of it but yet feel as though I am letting it just flow.  As I type I am crying inside with a torment of this portion of the cloth that I have spread out before me watching it glow from the sun and reflect the clouds that drift by in the sky gently and mysteriously by an unseen force waiting for these clouds to build and then release their furry upon these tranquil waters.  I think and question “Why should I wait for it?”  “Why must I be so pulled to be patient of the force of these clouds?”  “Why do these clouds have to fill me even more with these waters that will release upon me when it feels as if I am already so full and bursting out in a split second of dam breaking release of emotion?”  These and many more questions pounds threw my head as the tides break on the banks of the earth as I float along the river in my mind along the cloth.

As I lay there on the water I wait, and wait seems like eternity, the tension from the clouds drifting by is so intense and ungrateful in their pursuits.  I close my eyes, and feel the waters beneath me and smell the air, the muddy waters of the bogs go between my toes and fingers, the smell of sea salt fills my nostrils and combine with the smell of cocoa butter, as I hear the first of the ripping of the sky with thunder and blinding lightening strikes upon the waters, within seconds of each other.  The clouds explode in a tremendous force releasing the explosiveness on me with shards of glass like ice breaking my skin open to let my blood seep from my wounds and into the water, making the water turn into a mucky red and violet color.  Releasing the pain I have held onto for so long it seems as though from birth as I bleed and cry from the pain spilling out of me with confused delight.

A warm waft of air picks up and turns the icy droplets into pure rain as it crashes down and cleans my wounds and combines with the salt of the ocean to disinfect and heal these wound that have torn at my soul, and heart that has built up throughout this life.  I let it come down upon me I am incapable of making it stop, but with it I feel the strength to carry on build up with in me.  I tell myself “Let it come, let it come, let it go, let it go”, this echoes in my ears as I hear the rain fall on me.  I am filled with gratitude, and humbled by this; I feel the growth of my soul, and heart with this vision of this water cloth.  This feels as though it is taking ages to do, it seems unending.  I have so much pain to release and let the waters comfort me in its healing, and cleansing power.  The dams break and it releases the pain into different areas and with it cleans every part of my being, sending white foam across my body from my head to my toes washing my body clean and renewed.  My skin turns a slight tinge of pink in this as though after making love and my once dirty body of horrible pain is clean once more from the inside out.

After these events seem to be complete I stand beside the cloth and pick it up once more and place it back into the red cup I carried it in. It magically falls into the cup and fills every space of it.  I carry this cup to a nearby river and release it back into the river.  It gently slips out with its once comfortable state, with colors of blue, turquoise, and spots of white light reflected from the warm sun.  I take the cup and crush it, compact it into a small pile in my hand, with the renewed strength.

I dig a hole in the earth in the bank of the river and burry the cup.  Covering the cup with the loving earth, I know now that I am not burying past affliction this time.  I know I am renewed and not laying to waste with the past hurts and horrible pain I carried with me for so long.  It is as though I have given this earth next to the river a gift of both the cloth and the cup.  The cup as its own object is able to collapse even more and corrode becoming a part of this land. I never will turn back to all of this I have released it.  Never searching to compare to it but have grown from it, to become me once more.  To show myself although I have been through this it does not mean I have to be guilty and self charging in it.  I can release it and carry on to be a balanced person on my own, or with another.  It doesn’t matter what ever happens, happens and it is all for a purpose.  Whether it is for self reflection or counseling another to show how I have done this on my own and allowed the vision of this cloth carry me to myself then so be it.  It is not up to me but yet it is all at the same time.

I stand on the bank as I reflect on what these visions have taught me.  I love this feeling; I don’t want it to end. I wish to stay right here never moving.  But yet I know inside that I have to carry on, I have to see what this vision will bring.  As I scan the waters I see a fish swim by in front of my eyes and nip with its kissy face at something in the water.  It picks up something with its tiny fish lips.  It is hard to see what it catches but as soon as it swims off I see the blue cover this little creature.  I realize that the fish has picked up this cloth to carry it to the next person that is ready for healing.  I am over whelmed with the feeling of comfort as I see it go.  I whisper under my breath, “thank you”.

I stand there in silence with my thoughts and reflecting on the vision.  As all at once I feel as if I am not alone.  I look to my right and see a slightly clear with streaks of grey cloth almost standing beside me.  This is almost uncomfortable in feeling but yet not all at once.  I can see threw it and yet slightly reflective.  It picks up every color around it as I gaze upon it.  It is in my own form and beside me as I look at it, it looks at me, as if a clear shadow or reflection of myself.  I feel a bit startled and fear encompasses me, but yet again not.

My mind begins to race again the questions pound and throb in my mind, “What is this that my mind sees but yet is unseen?”  “Why does it seem as though I am staring at myself in the mirror, but yet seeing through myself with this cloth?”  It’s as though I have ran into my doppelganger.  The over whelming feeling of I know this and yet unknown fills me from my toes to my head. I feel disgusted and delighted.  Seems as though confused and mixed up in everything.  Doubt filled in my mind and yet as clear as a blank page before scrolling letters dance upon it.  I am seeing into my soul with this vision, my purpose of who I am my spirit yet just the spirit of everything and everyone.  It feels awkward but at the same time meeting again a long lost friend that I feel as though I should just throw my arms around and embrace and consume in my arms and love once more, which I would if I didn’t feel so strange like running into a stranger in a dark hidden alley.  I want to cry but dance a jig, as though I have neglected this part of me for so long and yet worked on it all my life.  My body shakes seeing this vision that it is hard to type it out.

I am surprised by it as it changes and shows me all my accomplishments in life; from having and raising my children before they were brought to another phase of their life, to being consistent with myself in relationships.  My head feels heavy with this racing and swirling in my mind’s eye.  Then it switches to my social life, how I was able to form social groups although away physically I influenced them in some way in good positive directions for their own self repairs and growth, this cloth showing me everything from the time of birth to this very day.  Showing me the hurt I gave to people without realizing my own actions of what I did not consciously knowing or feeling at that time. I feel disgusted with myself but yet not because it was for their self awareness and growth.  But who am I to do this I am not higher than them by any degree.  Why is it that I do this without being aware of my own actions?  Still who am I to judge?  I feel this over whelming growth of anger of myself but yet, not, because all things have a purpose and that purpose is for their own thing not mine, and I do not pull on their stuff as my own, I let it go and release it.  Repair it within myself and make sure that it will not happen and hurt myself in it, and learn from their actions as well in my own self growth.

The cloth moves closer and I embrace it and comfort it in this hold and stroke its reflective and unseen hair on its unseen head of me.  I hold it close it seems as though forever, no time, it’s frozen this time in its embrace.  Then visions of whom or rather what I helped as well in the spirit world begins its journey through this vision, souls that seem as though they are traipsing by like figments of imagination and yet not.  Shadows of once human beings trapped in their repetitive dance of their own demise either by themselves or by another’s hands.  I see as I glare into the eyes of this cloth then I see them crossing over to where they belong with and they just know that I was able to see and feel them.  People, and animals seem to cross a bridge in this vision, an old bridge, as though it was built at the beginning of time itself, and I was a part in helping them cross this bridge and into a blinding light at the end.  I am over whelmed with gratitude of my mediumistic gifts that where bestowed upon me from my birth, my head starts to feel lighter as this plays threw my mind’s eye as this vision continues to play in my head.

I feel so happy that these visions are coming to me; I am feeling victorious with them as they play out.  Once again I hold this cloth to me the embodiment of myself in its reflection.  My muscles in my body shake even more so as I feel every feeling I have ever felt since my birth.  I don’t know whether to laugh or cry or any emotion, it swirls like a tornado. 

All the other cloths seem to break forth with in me now with this cloth.  The red representing my fire, of rage and release, the black representing the earth and grounding, the white representing air and letting myself fly, and the blue representing water and the emotional side of me and cleansing of myself, and now this clear cloth representing spirit is self reflection and clearing of all actions.  It seems as though this vision quest is to just start again in this spirit cloth.  To show me that there is life with in me and that life is vibrant and unending. The cloth begins to shimmer and shake it starts to show rainbows of colors.  I release my hold of it.  I have to it shakes too much in my arms like an earth quake.  As I come to this conclusion of this vision quest.

The cloth, by itself standing as it once was from the beginning, explodes in front of me.  Dozens of colors spill out in front of me and in little balls of colors even bits of black being the absence of color and white the all of color combined.  My body shakes even more so then before when I was holding the cloth as I see this play out.  The colors begin to float up and out in all directions, some go back in me and changes my skin multi colored then back to its original state.  The other colors go up into the sky and fill it with multiple colors as well, and down into the earth, and in all directions: north, south, east and west, all multiple rain bow colors. It’s as though I am walking or rather standing in a rainbow.  I look and suddenly I see, and yes this sounds a bit silly, a pot of gold.  I feel rich inside and out and over whelming happiness begins to spread all over me and within me.

Delighted that this vision quest is complete I still feel as though there is more to come in my life.  More vision quests, maybe, but I feel comforted that this self repair is complete and I have a fresh start within myself.  A blank slate to go on, with self strength, and self awareness, I am accomplished even though I don’t have visual accomplishments to others.  But what is that all for other than pleasing others any way.  No one can please others without pleasing one’s self first.  This is what I hope I show to everyone, it is in self love and devotion that one can truly help others in life, love, and everything in this life.  It is in pure balance in everything, also, that we all can be truly successful, not by money or status, but by purely just doing.

The End