Understanding and Preventing Suicide

                                                    Understanding and Preventing Suicide
                                                        by Crystal Lane
Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death. About every year 30,000 people kill themselves. There are many reasons why people take their own life. Sometimes it’s because of family issues, school, work, and even their goals. There are a number of reasons why people do it, but it’s not the answer. Basically, people who commit suicide are unaware of how to deal or cope with their life. They think that just ending it will solve the problem. These people may have parents who neglect them, and or have a lack of support from others. Some people may live their entire life for one purpose, one goal, and when that doesn’t happen, they lose it and try to end it to avoid the disappointment they feel in themselves and possibly the disappointment they will feel from other people.
Suicide is more common in women than in men, but men do commit suicide. Sometimes people feel so empty and forgotten, but I think if they would find God that He would fill in that void. People still have trials and difficulties but having faith in God helps because even though we can’t see Him, we know He is there and it is comforting to know that someone is there and someone understands.
Fortunately, there are ways to prevent suicide. My *first* experience with an attempted suicide was with a guy I knew in high school. His name was Tony. His parents were split up, his step dad would physically throw him around the house and his mom would tell Tony to get over it. Tony was ‘in the way’ and had many anger issues. He was a big and strong guy to be in high school. Since he wasn’t the most decent looking guy, he didn’t have too much luck with the ladies and often times, he would go to violent behavior or do things to scare people.
One day, Tony decided to take two entire bottles of aspirin, some other medication and then eat his favorite treat, a pecan log….an entire pecan log. (Those things weigh almost three pounds.)
The next day at school, one of my teachers came running up to me and asked me to skip class and talk to him. I had no idea that this had happened. Tony had told the teacher what had happened. Even though Tony and I didn’t have the same class, the teacher had seen us conversating before and told me to talk to him. So, Tony and I walked around the track and basically told me what he had done. I didn’t act scared or put on a front, I just listened, and then later asked why and how. I think I reacted this way because a few years before, my best friend’s mother had done some things, but it was for attention, so when THIS happened, I wasn’t startled or shocked, just curious.
We walked around the track for about an hour or so. I listened with a normal disposition and told him that it wasn’t his fault. His step dad was a jerk, I told him how smart and awesome he was and how all he had to do was ‘hang in there’ until school was over, and then he could move out. When we were finished walking, I walked away wondering if I had made any impact on Tony. Well, that was about ten years ago, and Tony is still alive today. We don’t talk and that’s fine. Sometimes people have to let go of the people and friends from their past to move forward. So I’m fine with him not emailing or anything.
Here are some ways to help prevent suicide:
1.          Listen. Don’t try to be their problem solver or therapist, just listen. People who are suicidal usually feel alone and just want to be heard.
2.          Don’t take their actions to be not serious. Saying things like “Oh, it’ll be okay” does not help if they don’t feel like you understand them, and the only way you will understand them is if you listen. So listen, and then when it is your time to talk, ask them openly how they intend on killing themselves. This will allow the person thinking about it to feel as if someone is taking them seriously and also, they will hear themselves talk about it, which may help them re-think the act themselves.
3.          When they are finished talking, give them options. If you listen to what they are saying, there will be a clear answer. Be sure to put it in a way that is empathetic, sincere, and real. Be genuine.
4.            Ask them to delay it. Let them know that they can get through it. Remind them that people care about them, name those people.
5.          Encourage the person to talk to a professional. If they are opposed to it, due to previous un-satisfactory professional help, suggest a book.

If a person is talking to you about it, it is possible to change their minds and if they are talking to you then maybe you are the one to change their mind. So be calm, be stable, be kind, and speak from your heart, if you do these things, the person is more likely to see your point of view.