Late Night

Sarah took walks often, it was something she had done since she was little. It used to be just a little walk across the street to the park to just be outside and think. Then she as she grew older it became walks down to the school, walks over to a friend's house. Her parents constantly worrying about when she would be back. She never told them where she had gone even when they asked. Her answer was always 'for a walk'. She hadn't lived with her parents for years, they no longer worried about when she would be coming home. They didn't even have a clue that she had gone any where. On this occassion Sarah was down at the park by the river. She seemed to just wander back and forth along the paths. She spoke softly to someone that wasn't there. Her words came out rushed but she stop and tilt her head seeming to come to a conclusion in herself. Sarah would then slowly and meaningfully tell her point. She just wanted these words to be heard. The sounds of the river meeting her ears at this late hour. A tiny sprite watched her from a tree. It wondered why she was there that night, alone and unprotected. This sort of thing rarely happened. A young woman out alone late at night, if it did happen usually the woman would be crying. This one wasn't, there was no tears but there did seem to be a little pleading. As if she wanted someone to understand what she was saying. The sprite carefully flew to a different tree, fearing that Sarah would disappear out of view. *Maybe if I get close enough I can hear* The little sprite thought as it flew closer.
"Hear me, please, just hear me. What am I saying? You can't hear me, you're not here. You're sleeping in your bed, at least that's what you said you would be doing. I don't know, maybe you're not. Maybe that was just what you said, trying to get me to get some sleep. I'm not tired though. I am awake and wanting to be heard. I can't say these things to you though. Who can I say them to then? You're the person who seems to be able to get me to say the most, open up and speak." Sarah continured walking and the sprite continued following her, being careful to stay out of sight but close enough to hear her. "Do you understand the words that are being spoken though? Can you comprehend the meaning behind what is being said and what is left unsaid? I can't seem to say it all. I can't make myself say it. What I write seems to hold more truth but it is hidden truth, a puzzle for you to decipher. For anyone to decipher really. But does anyone really understand these words? I stay up late and write, and wonder if my truth is being seen. Do I want it to be seen? Do I really want anyone to understand? I keep asking myself and I don't know the answers. All I want is to know some truth. My truth, your truth, our truth, any truth. Where is the truth? It is not in these books that teachers have us read. Or in the papers they have us write. Those are just words forced out for them, not because they are true but because they are what is expected of us." Sarah sits down on a rock by the river and plays with the water with her fingers. "Is it possible that the truth isn't what is told to us but that it is in what we feel and experience around us? Can I have meaning with out the piece of paper that tells the world I jumped through the hoops of academia? What is the true meaning behind that paper? It seems like everyone thinks it is necessary to be worth something. I would rather prove my worth because of my heart, my love of life. I don't want to have my joy of life sucked out to prove to others that I can get a piece of paper. What am I learning in those classes? It isn't my truth. I would rather be able to write a paper full of passion and spelling errors, than be able to spell everything, be gramatically correct and have written something that means absolutely nothing to me." She shakes her head "Maybe I'm just not meant to be doing this. Maybe I shouldn't try understanding this world. Just go along with where it's taking me and fight with trying to understand." The sprite watches as all of the fight seems to go out of the girl. It can see that deep down that is all Sarah is, a scared girl trying to find something. "I keep saying things, wanting you to hear, to talk back. But do I really want you to? Are these words really meant for you? You can't hear them so what does it matter? I'll keep going on with life, and I'll keep loving you. But these words won't be known, I'll forget them soon." She looks down and sees her hand. She raises it in front of her face and then gently touches her cheek. "What would it be like to just feel your touch? Not to speak but just to feel? Am I foolish for wondering? No one seems to understand what is going on with me, some think it's just a strange obsession. I am a lovesick puppy dog they pity. Am I to be pitied? Or are they? I know what I feel. Love and passion. My mind going a million miles a minute but always in some corner is the thought of you." Sarah smiles and gets up. She crosses the small bridge and walks towards her car. "Does it matter who is pitied? I love who I have become because of you. They may not but I do." Sarah opens the door and gets into her car. She drives away leaving behind a very confused little sprite.