Right and wrong vs. Love and hate

An essay I wrote late into the night when I couldn't sleep. It was written on January 13th, 2009 and I decided it might do justice to my portfolio.

So what makes a true friend if you've never had one before? If all your life you've sat there and walked through your days as if friends didn't exist. How then can you achieve true friendship if you've never had it? All of my life I have had nothing but pain and let downs just like everyone else. No one person in their normal life has had a grand childhood. This isn't a movie or a fairy tale. Sometimes I can find my self sitting down and thinking about my future and how many people will be involved with it. I want to know how many people will honestly be my friend and if they'll be my truest friend until the end of all time. Growing up, I didn't have very many options and I was sort of dealt a shitty hand in cards too. I had to work hard to get to where I am in life. If it's one endeavor to next, I know I can break through it. So each day I live is one more smile on my face and one more day to my name because the closer I am to age, the closer I am to my own timely death. Very depressing, huh? Even though something so depressing could ultimately ruin the very fabric of my being, I still live and let live. My fears are never self inflicted or irrational. They are with reason. I fear needles, old age, obesity, and becoming ugly. I also fear being lonely and without having someone to love. It's amazing how clingy a person can become to another person because of the dry humor involved with it. As annoying and irritating as being clingy is, it's kind of an attractive quality in men. It's honestly their love lashing out irrationally. Sometimes it becomes a problem, but it's up to you, the trophy of their eyes, to stick it out and love them back just as more in your own way.

Many people in this world could take advantage of me several times before I finally burst into a million pieces and scatter away in the wind. My most admirable quality of all is my ability to forgive someone and accept them for whatever they have done. Now that doesn't mean you can break my window, steal my car, and run it into a tree during the process of stealing it. I'm still going to sue you and I'm still going to hate you. My trust for you will go down to the bottom of the earth and I'll keep you in my black book and remember what you did. Hatred and evil is a strong fuel and always overpowers love and good temporarily. It's a thick amiable power that's been around since the limbic system evolved for us humans. In the end, love and good overpowers hatred and evil, doesn't it? Growing up, there was never really any neutrality involved in our stories, huh? It was always about good and evil battling it out. In a delicate society such as ours, The United States of America, we humans tend not to dwell on the neutrality of people. Either someone is skinny or fat, ugly or pretty, gay or straight, popular or unpopular, smart or stupid, black or white, and all of those things that lie in opposition of one another. I'm tired of the codes of this society and I'm tired of the closed mindedness of the people of this world. Chris Crocker was right, bathrooms should have brains on the door for open minded people, and there should be something down about the racism, the prejudice, the hatred, the crime, and the homophobia that festers in the mind of daily Americans.

How can an American say that he or she is American and apply to one of the following listed in the previous statement? I thought that America stood for diversity, freedom, and the pursuit of happiness. No where in the constitution did it say that we could keep that happiness forever though. One's happiness is another's unhappiness, so how do I expect to be happy in a society where if I like Chris Crocker, and someone else hates Chris Crocker, I have to be introduced to the negative sides of my adversary because they don't like him and I do. Hatred and evil overpower love and good because it's a negative aspect of the wonderful cerebral cortex. You take something so good and turn it black, you have the Antichrist. Then people begin to fear it and fear brings fuel to the small ignition. Soon the fire becomes a fierce blaze and begins to spread in the minds of those uneducated, affiliated with gang violence, subject to witnessing domestic violence, those with bad influences, and those who have no parents or terrible parents. The virus spreads easily because no one wants to the the cure. No one believes in love anymore and no one cares about being good. Rebellion and open mindedness, even if that open mindedness is a false reality, are the new things to cherish in life. Being creative and following your own trends is the thing to do. Which it should be. Now, does that mean that evil will always prevail? Not necessarily because it's love that allows a woman to lift her car out of a ditch to save her kids and it's love that allows one person live through cancer their whole life. Hatred and evil are only temporary, but no one knows that because it just simply wasn't taught.

Love will always prevail over hatred because it's harder to love than it is to hate. Anyone can say that he or she hates you, but can they openly admit that they love you? The harder something is and the more we practise, the more we get used to it and the easier it is to do it. If you think about sports and music, a person has to practise their instrument for years before they can effectively play the simplest of songs and people have to be exposed to and conditioned to play a certain sport for years before they are professionals. When you do something that people aren't naturally born with and you learn a certain skill or have a certain talent and you've perfected that talent, you feel kind of proud don't you? Love is the same way. It's a skill that one has to learn and it's a talent that one has to be exposed to first and then allowed to practise it. You can't learn something if you've never been exposed to it because when you try to learn that skill or perfect that talent, how do you know if it's right and how do you know if it's flawless? If someone was raised without love, then the only things they know are hatred and bitterness. If you take the sun away, you take the heat away. If you take the heat away, what's left is bitter coldness. People don't sit down and think about these kinds of things. People are more involved in their own securities than other people's insecurities. Some people out there care so much that they sometimes go far and beyond the call of duty, but why? There is absolutely nothing to gain by helping another person and there is no physical equivalent exchange, so why do it? Why feed a baby it's bottle?

Because it needs help and it can't do it on it's own until you teach it how. Feeding a baby or going beyond the call of duty is exposing not only yourself to more love, but exposing it to other people. People do good things because it releases endorphins, a chemical compound in the brain used to produce pleasure, and because it's simply the right thing to do. Right and wrong are two very expressive words and work like stamps because they label everything that we do in the universe. Little do people realize is that the universe only knows that we exist and that we're sending out thoughts as frequencies. The universe doesn't know that it's right or wrong because those are two words that we humans have created. Right and wrong play an important role in our ever-changing society. The universe just knows that we exist and are sending out thoughts, nothing else. It doesn't need to know why you stole my car and crashed it into a tree or why I like Chris Crocker because he makes good points or why I'm writing this. The universe only knows that those things happened and that there will be negative and positive labels put on them. What makes an action or emotion positive or negative ties in with the whole right and wrong theme. If I take twenty dollars from my friend's purse while she isn't looking, the universe knows that I took the money, and she doesn't. What makes that action negative is my emotion behind it because I know that stealing is wrong and that it's not the right thing to do. I grew up in a society where it taught me that stealing is wrong. That's how the universe knows to punish me for taking the twenty dollars because I knew it was wrong and so by doing the deed, the frequencies that I emitted to the universe had negativity written all over it. Therefore, in retrospect, I am my own judge and I gave out my own sentence over the action of action her twenty dollars. Not only is the universe punishing me and I helped tell on myself by my own thoughts, but I will be punished in society by actually attending real court and receiving a much more quicker alternative. Now that doesn't mean that you can pretend like you didn't know that stealing twenty dollars was wrong so that you're safe from universal punishment.

You know yourself if it's right or wrong and lying to yourself isn't going to help you out of your own deserved punishment. Say a man was raised on an island nation and he grew up as a boy and was taught to kill. He was exposed to hatred, retardation, violence, and negativity all his life by his people. Like I said, if you're not exposed to something, how do you know it exists and if you see it, how do you know how to learn it? You can try to emulate it, but how do you know if it's right? A man grown up in a primitive society like that where there is no open mindedness or variety of emotion is subject to what his society made him become and it's not his society's fault either because what if they themselves were raised that way too? I'm very certain they all love each other because everyone is born with the same body and they have endorphins too. Now say he is randomly put into our society and he kills a few people for the thrill of the hunt, he steals things that are not his, and he plunders everything around him before the police capture him. Does that mean that he is to be punished? Times are changing and I think I can finally see the windows of opportunity clearing up and the fog is finally lifting. As poetic as I can be, I really notice the good in some people by the way their smile is shaped or by the way the light hits their eye. There are several factors that contribute to sensing emotion and reading body language, but that's another discussion. Until the sun blows out, we're all here. So we we better make the most of it.