Ambrosia

I awoke in a cold sweat, shaking from the hunger and thirst that plagued my throat. Would I have to endure this nightmare every time I couldn’t quench my thirst? I felt morbid at the thought. And a lightning bolt of anger struck through my belly, for Brenna and Shade having made me this way. For that one second I hated them, for being what they were, and for encouraging me to become what I was. We were monsters. We craved things that no one should crave.

Why was I like this? I remembered feeling this way before they found me, but I just didn’t know what it was. They opened my eyes to what was wrong with me, and what to do about it. No, they were no monsters. They cared for me, like their own sister. I had never been close to members of my family, and now I felt like I had someone to trust in; Someone who wouldn’t think I was crazy for hating sunlight or believing in reincarnation; Someone who was there for me when I needed them most. But where were they now? I felt like I was dying, and all I could do was sit in my little room, and stare out my little window.

The city rumbled below me, and I longed for freedom from this otherworldly cage. I longed to be normal, if normal existed. The light of the full moon was almost blinding to my newly awakened eyes, and I squinted as I looked at its beauty. Would I even be able to admire the moon now? I loved that moon so well. It had always been a reminder that the Mother was looking down on me sweetly, guiding my footsteps. Well where was She now? Had She forgotten me? No. The answer came before I could finish asking the question. She knew the real me, every inch of my body and soul, and She would only wish me to be the real me.

A knock at the door shattered my thoughts. I rose and made my languid way across the room and opened to Brenna, a ray of light into my dark desperation. “It is the full moon. Time to make your decision.” I felt my eyes light up, and I followed her out of the room into the dark hallway. The time had finally come for me to choose a donor – the person who would be mine to feed from when I needed to.

Brenna led me down the long dark halls, all the while, lecturing me about how this was for my own good, and for the good of the family [I liked the sound of that], and for the good of mankind. She spoke as though she was training a super hero. Basically, in stead of getting so thirsty that I would attack random people and drink their blood, I would choose from a small group of willing blood donors, who had been tested and approved by Brenna and Shade.

She also lectured me on cleanliness – using only my ankh necklace to puncture my donor, and cleaning up before and after; and on safety – not taking more than a pint of blood a month from my assigned donor, and never feeding without his or her consent. She must have noticed me trying to stuff way too much information into my head at once, because she paused to assure me that I would be given copies of the contracts containing all this information, along with my necklace, and my donor.

Contracts? I was beginning to see how organized it all was, and how much this family, which I had once thought of as evil, cared about the safety of everyone involved, and even those who would never even know we existed.

At last we reached the cellar. But Brenna stopped before entering and faced me, great caring in her eyes. “One more thing” she began, placing a cold hand upon my shoulder. “By taking this persons blood into yourself, you may cause him or her to feel deeply for you, a love which can sometimes be misinterpreted as romantic love. You must assure your donor that this is merely a reaction to your blood-bond, and it can never be more than just that. Likewise, you may feel attracted to your donor, but try your best to avoid acting on it. This has only caused complications in the past.”

I stared at Brenna, wondering if she spoke from personal experience. Then I wondered if she had felt anything for me, when she awakened me. I knew that I loved her, but I wasn’t attracted to her. Maybe our situation was different. After all, she wasn’t feeding from me on a regular basis. But still, I did love her. She was my family.

Finally, Brenna kissed me on the head, and opened the door to the cellar, guiding me in with her hand on my back. The room was filled with candlelight – a calming improvement from when I’d last seen the cellar on the night of my awakening. Maybe if they had just lit some candles, I wouldn’t have resisted so much. I felt like a bachelorette on a T.V. show. A row of men and women stood a few feet from me, and I caught myself scanning them as if they were food. In a way, they were. And while waiting alone in my room for this night, I had become extremely hungry. I licked my lips and looked the donors over.

The first few were lovely, but didn’t particularly catch my eye. Then my eyes reached the fifth donor, and refused to move on. My world was shattered like a glass house I’d lived in all my life, and the light shown in brighter than the windows to my soul had ever permitted. But the light didn’t blind me like other light. It was calming; freeing; energizing. I wondered if this reaction was normal when craving someone. I could smell her from where she stood among the others, and I knew without a doubt she was the one I’d choose.

She was pure beauty. Everything about her beckoned me. I was fearful and exhilarated at the same time. I was cautious, but at the same time, I felt the beast within me rise to the surface. Did I simply long to drink her? Or was it more than that? I pondered this as she approached me in yellow slow motion. Brenna must have beckoned her to come forward, upon noticing my trance-like state as I stared at her. I remembered Brenna’s cautioning words then, and pushed any romantic thoughts out of my mind. Or, at least I tried to.

She reached me and introduced herself. Her name was Ambrosia. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard – that name, spoken so sweetly by that mouth, which at every second, seemed to call to me. Her eyes were two other worlds that I had never seen and that I longed to explore. They glowed brighter than the moon, and appeared deeper than the vast oceans. Her two-toned hair hung like angel feathers over her pale skin, and glowed in the dim light. Her skin was as smooth as marble, and it radiated like the sun had possessed her. I could smell her better now – light flowery perfume, covered by pheromones, covered still by the strong, sweet scent of her blood, running like a cool refreshing river through her veins, calling to me. I had never felt so alive.

Brenna’s hand on my shoulder brought me crashing back to reality, and I blinked and introduced myself. “Oh, uh, hi. My name’s Clarity.” My voice was shaky, as I reached cautiously out to shake her hand. When I touched her skin, I exploded into a whirlpool of fantasy, even though I was trying my hardest not to. Her skin was so warm, and I could feel her veins pumping blood beneath, waiting to relieve me of my hunger and thirst. My suffering mouth watered as visions of breaking her skin and draining her blood flooded through my mind. Then I realized that if she felt so warm to me, I must feel ice cold to her, so I reluctantly let go of her hand. 

“Now” Brenna began, “If Ambrosia is the one you choose, you must formally ask her if she is willing to give herself to you.” I looked away from Ambrosia for the first time since I’d seen her, to give Brenna a terrified look. I feared awkward situations more than most. Brenna smiled at my childish expression, and her eyes consoled me. I turned back.

“Ambrosia… Would you be willing to… give yourself to me?” I shot her a smirk, reacting to how awkward I felt, and then to my surprise, she mirrored my expression, her velvety lips curling upward at the corners, her eyes showing specks of light that until this moment had remained hidden.

“Yes Clarity, I gladly give myself to you.” I felt my face light up and my eyes widen. “Thank you!” I suddenly no longer felt awkward, and without thinking, I embraced her. I pulled back before the thirst and romantic thoughts had time to resurface, and we turned to Brenna, who had the contracts on a table for us to sign. We were each handed copies, just like I’d been told, and then Brenna pulled me close, kissed me on the head, and pulled out an ankh necklace, just like hers and Shades. I finally understood what the necklaces meant, and I smiled as Brenna clasped the cord around my neck.

It was done. I had chosen my assigned donor. I hoped my romantic feelings for her would subside, and that I had in fact made the right decision. The future was pounding into the present, and there was no turning back now.