Captain Spazz and Space Cadet

        “Space Cadet! Space Cadet! Guess what I invented! There was no response “Space Cadet?” Captain Spazz waved a hand in front of his sidekick’s face. She was in one of her day dream realities and didn’t react, she didn’t even blink. “Space Cadet” No response again. Finally he yelled. “SPACE CADET!” Space Cadet looked up, the connection to alternate reality severed.

         “Huh?”

         “Guess what I invented!”

         “Another jet pack?” She asked hopefully.

         “No”

         “You still need to make me another one”

         “I invented a time machine!” Captain Spazz proclaimed proudly. Ignoring Space Cadet’s comment

         “Yeah and I invented the Pop tart” Space Cadet responded sarcastically.

         “You did?” Captain Spazz asked clueless to the sarcasm

         “Sarcasm is a foreign language to you isn’t it?”

         “Who-da-what-a?”

         “Forget it” Captain Spazz dragged Space Cadet into his workshop inside their hideout. He kept all his work in progress gadgets, and inventions there. The workshop was a cluttered jumble of gears, screws wire and half finished projects. The supposed time machine was simply an old wooden cupboard with a toaster attached to it and a kitchen timer on top. “This is a time machine?” Space Cadet was thoroughly convinced that Captain Spazz had gotten into the emergency sugar supply they kept for him just in case and was completely crazy at the moment. “Did you get into the sugar again?”

         “No, I’ll prove it’s a time machine, get inside!”

         “It looks a little small” Space Cadet said skeptically as she walked around the cupboard.

         “Just get in!” I doubt this will work Space Cadet thought, but got in and shut the door after her.



         Back in the year 1929 the stock market had just crashed and two very strange looking bugs were wandering around Wall Street. One was Jacque, a talking centipede from France and Penelope, his accomplice, who happened to be a snail.  They had just caused the Stock market to crash with their evil deeds.

         “What do we do now?” Penelope asked.

         “We find a way out of here before the angry mob tramples us” People were running frantically all over in a panic and the two bugs had nearly been stepped on more times then they could count. Penelope suddenly stopped mesmerized by an explosion of swirling colors, with some thing inside of it.

         “What is that thing inside the swirling colors?” Penelope asked.

         “It looks like a cup…board” Jaque responded.

         “What is a cup…board” Penelope asked again, she was fairly clueless to the human world.

         “It’s a kind of box humans use to put things in” The colors disappeared with a pop and the cupboard landed with a thud. Captain Spazz looked at the date on the mini computer built into the door and peeked out side. Apparently seeing something he liked, he threw open the door.

         “We made it! Welcome to 1929!” he proclaimed, stepping out of the time machine.

         “This is 1929?” Space Cadet asked, looking out and carefully stepping out of the time machine. With no thought of what his actions might cause, he immediately began yelling at the mob of people who had come to see what a random cupboard was doing here.

         “Hello peoples. I am Captain Spazz and this is my sidekick Space Cadet!”

“Captain Spazz” Space Cadet said warningly, tugging on her partner’s superhero costume.

“One minute, Space Cadet” he returned to yelling to the mob.  “We are from the future!”

“We need to leave, NOW” Captain Spazz was so busy yelling at people he didn’t know that he didn’t notice that cops were running over. Space Cadet yanked Captain Spazz back into the time machine and shut the door again, but not before two bugs found their way aboard, a new dastardly plan formed in Jacque’s little mind.

“Ha! Now those silly humans will take us to the future!” he exclaimed.

         “And we will take over the world?” Penelope asked.

         “Of course we will!” Captain Spazz and Space Cadet looked at their feet after hearing the high squeaky voices. Space Cadet immediately backed up.

         “What in the world are they?” she asked, fearing they were some new version of Reality bugs created by their archenemies Dr. Amputation. She hated Reality bugs because they drained her powers.

         “Hey look! Talking bugs!” Captains Spazz paused, the thought occurring to him that a snail with pigtails and a centipede with a hat were not exactly normal. “Scary bugs” He saw his sidekick trying to flatten herself against the wall and bent down. “Are you Reality bugs?” he asked the two insects.

         “No, who ever heard of such a thing?” Jacque responded. He sounded genuine enough for Captain Spazz. “Now, stupid humans resume your clueless lives and pretend like you never saw us. Finish your trip to the future.”

         “Hey Captain Spazz?” Space Cadet asked, still keeping her distance from the bugs, “What would happen if we threw something out the door while we were traveling?”

         “I don’t know.” He answered after thinking for a while

“Why don’t we find out?” Space Cadet asked, really hoping to be able to get rid of the bugs. They each picked up a bug, Space Cadet making extra certain that she held Penelope by the shell so the bug couldn’t bite her. Captain Spazz opened the door to reveal a bunch of swirling colors, and they dropped the bugs. As Jacque and Penelope were lost in the colors, a jet pack dumped itself on the floor of the time machine. Captain Spazz picked it up and handed it to Space Cadet.

“Well, here’s the jet pack I promised you”

“Finally, it’s only taken you six months” She pulled on the jet pack, now she’d be able to keep up with Captain Spazz.



Jacque and Penelope fell through the colors until finally they landed on the ground with their own miniature pops. The whole world was one big jungle; every thing was huge even by a human’s standard. Jacque looked around.

“Finally, the future!” Penelope also looked around, unconvinced.

“This is the future?”

“Of course, they were going to the future, so this must be the future.” A T-rex stopped beside them, looking around for it’s next meal.

“We will rule you!” the tiny bugs exclaimed. The T-rex didn’t hear them and his next step happened to be on top of them. Both bugs were flattened instantly.