starting of tough life

The day I stepped into my in laws house, I felt unwelcome. After all the rituals ,I was shown my room. It was on the top floor of the house. The bed and the minimal furniture which my parents had given in dowry were there. Other than that the room was essentially empty. It had not even been dusted. The mattresses still had their covers on. Thank God at least someone had bothered to cover them up with a torn old bed sheet. This was the room which greeted me, the new bride into the home.

I remember very well, that on our first night itself Kamal had put a wall of blankets between us, turned his back towards me, and gone of to sleep. Along with them had gone of to sleep my dreams of the first night, of being welcomed into my new home and my new life, or being shown at least some love by my husband. I was too tired, and too shy to say anything.

From the next day onwards taunts started appearing. Taunts for insufficient dowry, for not bringing Honda city car, for not getting a flat, and for bringing a used old santro car in my dowry. I thought things will change with time; they did change but only for worse. A few days after marriage Kamal`s massiji (mother`s sister) came to our home. She asked my mother in law “what has she got for you all ? After all you have brought a new bahu from a rich family, must have got many gifts” .Kamal took her to the place where my undergarments were drying and said “this is what she has brought with her”

They had a maid for their home, but she was turned out on the next day after my marriage as now they had a educated maid, to do all the household work. I never protested, nor was I in a position to.Kamal would shout at me for no reason and in front of anybody and everybody. He would get angry with me, if there was even one call from my parents or sister. On other hand sometimes he would demand in the middle of the night , that my parents should pay him a visit as he was now their son in law.

Life had changed totally. Now I was living in a constant fear. I was doing everything to please my in laws, to try to niche a place for myself in that house. But how much I ever tried, they were just not happy. Life was so unpredictable; I never knew what is coming next. Weather I am going to be shouted at or be raped. I still tried to love him. Sometimes he became unpredictably loving,, at the very next moment he would get violent and start throwing things around. My mother in law would just say “you keep quiet; women should not speak when their men are angry” I would yearn for those small moments when he showed he loved me. Till date I do not know, why I tolerated all the abuse.