Mother

March 24, 2009

Last year I shared this writing with my son Russel and he greatly urged me to publish it.  He said it needed to be a must read not only for mothers but fathers too.  He felt it would touch many people, possibly change lives,  and should be shared.  At his urging, and at a sudden urging within myself I am now going to share this publicly. 

06/07/08
Saturday

On Thursday, 2 days ago, I went with Franki ( a dear friend and Native American drummer and Spiritual Journey guide) and 2 others to her cabin in the Wenas where she has a Medicine Wheel arranged with stones with names of animals on them.  Throughout the 2 hour session we all received many messages from the Spirits and Guides to help us in our daily lives.  I became more wired and buzzed then I EVER did when I used drugs trying to get that way!  The inner experience that I was filled with is still very much with me today. 

At the end of our session, just before picking up to leave, I was compelled to give a message to one of the others about her relationship with her daughters.  I spoke the words that were given to me (came into my mind from ??) as I felt her pain and sorrow.  As I spoke she wept in a controlled manner so I knew the words were meant for her to hear at that moment.  I was then moved to go over to her to hold her in my arms and comfort her for a few moments.  I felt so much love and compassion for her and I hope she sensed that in some way.

Then, last night as I was busy editing photo's on my computer, which usually takes all of my concentration, I kept thinking about this person very heavily.  At some point, lost in my thoughts and feelings while mechanically editing photo's, I felt compelled to write.  I stopped what I was doing (highly out of the ordinary for me!) and immediately opened a blank notepad and let me fingers fly.  After a time, I felt I had put down whatever it was I was supposed to, again, words coming into my mind from ??.  Now, I don't believe these words originated from myself, I believe I was a channel for their expression.  But, today I explained the situation briefly to the Dan, the love of my life, and opened the document that I just titled “Mother”, and read it to him.

About 2/3 of the way through, I choked up and wept as I read.  I had no idea really exactly what I had written because I didn't read it after I wrote it until that moment.  I didn't realize the emotion it would stir inside of me, not only me but Dan too, once I did decide to read what I had written.  I don't know if this writing is meant for anyone in particular or if it's meant for everyone, or only me.  I just know that it is powerful enough to invoke tears within myself and something that powerful should be shared with certain people with whom I care about and feel safe enough to share something so personal. 

I feel deeply that this all came about because of the renewing of my spirit at the Medicine Wheel and because of the lingering compassion that I felt for the mother in pain.  Whatever the catalyst,  here is the outcome, unedited, just the way my fingers typed it.  I hope it has meaning for someone that is supposed to read it.  I hope it touches someones life and maybe helps them make changes in the way they think so that their life will be happier.  I hope it makes a little splash in the water of humanity whose ripples will travel around the world.



                                                                                                      “Mother”

There comes a time in every mother's life when the way she has always seen her children has to change.  Her relationship has to evolve or it will disintegrate.  A time comes when she can no longer view them as hers.  No longer are they HER children but children that have grown to be more a part of the world and less a part of her.  People with their own interests in life and their own paths to walk.  That path needs to be honored by their mother because it is the path they chose to walk before coming into this existence through her.

Our children were never ours to begin with.  We, as women, are THE only vessel's by which the entities that are to be entrusted unto us as our children have means to come into existence.  We are the ONLY co creators of life with the Great Spirit.  The Great Spirit took hand fulls of mother earth and formed her into the shape of a human and breathed the breath of life into the form.  No matter how many thousands of years of evolution, how many eon's humans are in existence, one thing will never, ever, change.  We have the same chemistry as the dirt, the trees, the grass, the same chemical makeup of all that is, every living thing.  That is why WE ARE ALL RELATED.  And related to all that is.

Our children will always be a part of us no matter where there pathways take them.  All we can do is watch them from a distance to see where that path takes them.  Watch as they BECOME whoever it is they came here to BE.  What an honor that they chose our vessel to come into existence through!  What an honor that they knew before coming here that the vessel they chose was ONLY ONE on the whole entire planet that would be the very best for them to learn what ever it is that they chose to come here to learn.  What an honor that the Great Spirit allowed us to conceive and co create another life, another new beginning.

I wonder if Mother Earth felt the same way when she gave birth to the first of our kind as we do when we give birth and hold that brand new life in our arms for the first time and look into those eyes of the BEING that we just helped to create and give life to?  Are there any words in a human language to describe that feeling of love?  That feeling of oneness with that child?  Does Mother Earth always feel that oneness with us, her children?  But somehow, we became more children of the world searching for our own pathways, and less children of hers.  But nothing will ever change the fact the she is still our mother and we still have her "genes" so to speak.  And she's ALWAYS there for us no matter where our pathways take us.  She just watches us from a distance to see who it is we BECOME.  Not interfering with our chosen path. She gave birth to us, provided for us, then let us BE.  No expectations, just love.  And so we would do well following her example.  Thank you Mother, thank you Great Spirit, I honor and am honored.  Aho!



(Written through Lori Tucker on 6-6-2008)