May 14th, 2012

It was a big day for me - my college graduation.
I've been looking forward to this day since I started high school.
I was so excited to get out in the real world.

The ceremony was very long, very hot, and very tiring.
I can't even recall the name of our guest speaker, I just know he put me to sleep. He used the same cliche quotes about trying our hardest, and don't let anything get in our way. Figures.

Exiting the auditorium my parents anxiously awaited me to find them.
My mother stood there with her camera, my brother with a book to keep him entertained, and my father with a very nice folder. Almost looked like a menu from a very upscale restaurant.

My brother gave me a high five and said good job.
My mom gave me a hug, bawling her eyes out of course.
My dad gave me a handshake, handed me the folder and simply said, "You earned it."

The leathery textured folder was sealed shut, much like a standardized test. I broke two seals, and inside was a very nice laminated piece of a paper.

It was the deed to a car.
But one I didn't know of.
He pointed to a Subaru STI in the parking lot.

My dream car.
My father just had a smirk on his face, and handed me the keys.
My mother smiled while my brother jumped for joy as he would be getting my Fit. Excitement was in the air for all.

Before I ran to my new car, we agreed to meet somewhere for dinner.
I told my brother he could pick, I've had enough congratulations today.
We left for Maggiano's.

The drive there was so fun.
This car had so much power.
I couldn't help but floor it onto the highway and gun it the whole way there.
I've never felt more free in my entire life.

We all met at the restaurant.
While my mother and brother asked for a table, my father and I went to the bar.
He said he wanted to talk, something me and him have never really had before. A deep one on one discussion.
He asked the bartender for two scotch on the rocks.
I didn't know my father wanted to drink this hard.

He started off with, "I have to apologize."
I had no idea what he would need to apologize for.
He's done nothing but be there for me, and support all of my wildest and craziest hopes and desires.

But before he could say anything.
The TV's screamed with a single high pitched tone.
A list of numbers began to scroll like credits at the end of the movie.

202546
498573
360793
309580
238433
453932
198678
285736
>>320081<<
279592
343959
275939
264579
286597
356482
342758
191875
376486
248765
342565

The list finished, and the tone died off.
Everyone checked their I.D.'s
Soon, they followed with a huge sigh of relief.

I looked at my father.
He snatched my I.D. out of my hand, and read the number-
My number.

He handed it back to me and nodded.
I walked past my mother and brother.
My mother instantly knew what was wrong while my brother had a face of concern.
I told them both I had to leave.

The car suddenly seemed very little to me as I drove back home.
I'd throw it away if it meant the detachment of this number.
The car, the diploma, the life that I've worked so hard to obtain.
Either way it would all go away.
Lose lose situation.

I called her the moment I got home.
She was very excited to here about the ceremony.
We unfortunately couldn't get enough tickets for her to join my family in this big day.

"How'd it go joe?! I want every every single detail!"
- I cut her off.
"My number came up today."
- She went silent, and began to cry.
I couldn't comfort her in this situation, nothing could make it right. I just had to tell her where to be and when.
"I love you joe."
"I love you too."
I wouldn't see her until later that night.

Within twenty minutes, the officials were at my door.
They read a list of instructions.
"You must be ready by eleven o'clock this evening, we will be picking you up, you may wear anything you wish, you may invite no more than four people, you may not eat or drink from this moment forward, unless otherwise instructed, you may not have any photographic devices in the room with you or with your guests, we will have staff already providing photography services, and your guests may each take a complimentary recording of the event if they so choose, and finally, know that you deserve this. We will see you tonight."

I signed off on the agreement, and shut the door in disbelief.

I tried to choose an outfit.
Something appropriate for the occasion.
I was too distracted.
I couldn't believe it was happening.

My parents returned from dinner to me sitting on the couch.
I was just staring at the screen.
Whenever this happened, all the news stations would scroll the numbers across the top of the screen. I just watched mine pass by over and over again.

I told my family I was going to sleep before we had to leave.
I couldn't stand to be awake and face this.
Before I fell asleep, I called her.

"Be at the compound at midnight, my family will already be there, just meet up with them"
-she sobbed a little more "Okay"
"I love you joe."
"I love you too."

I wrote a note really quick.
I'd leave it on the bed before the officials came.

I set my alarm for 10:30 pm and dozed off.

---

Before I knew it my alarm woke me up.
I put on some clothes, and put the case in my pocket.
I went out to the living room to address my family.
I told them not to worry, and reminded them that things would soon return to normal.

11:00pm

There was the knock.
They cuffed me, and threw me in the van.

It was dark.
It was padded, but not lit.
I wasn't buckled down in anyway, just cuffed.
I was whipped and thrown around each corner and bump on the entire trip to the compounds.

We had arrived.
They checked my blood sugar, and all my other bodily levels before the next stage. They had to make sure I didn't eat anything, or else they'd make it that much worse on me.

Before I knew it, I was on one side of the glass, and I saw the love of my life, along with my family on my other.

I couldn't stand to look at them.
I felt so weak and helpless.
Essentially I was.

They strapped me in, and drove the needles into my body.
The machine began to pump.
And I felt it throughout my body.
I began to go numb, and I began to black out.

Before I lost it, I was able to reach into my pocket, and pull out the case.
I made sure she was looking.
I opened it and it sparkled.

The machine pumped faster and faster.
And I began to lose it.
I couldn't grasp reality.
I was dying.

My dad handed her the note I had written earlier in the night.
It read-
"I loved you more than anyone else in the world. You meant everything to me, and I wish we would have been
able to spend the rest of our lives together. Never forget me. I'll never forget you. Love Always, Joe"
I could see her crying.
And my dad looked over at her.
He simply said-

"I'm sorry."