SHATTERED DREAMS

It has been two days since my husband left our house. I still found myself waiting, like I used to. The sound of motorcycles made my heart beat faster only to be disappointed. He’s not coming back. Maybe not so soon. Again I was reminded of the pain; it was as if someone was gripping my heart I cannot breathe.



How complicated married life is. For me it is the hardest career one could ever take. Understanding needs and desires of a husband without being loved in return made it harder. I felt like a flower wilting because I cannot reach the water nearby. He was there but was simply not meant for me.



Getting married……I thought was a happy ending of our school romance, I got it wrong-It was just a beginning.



I was a hopeless romantic. I’m still am. Sometimes I dreamt that he would treat me the same way when I fell in-love with him and disobeyed my mother. My mother-now I realized her hardship. How could I screw her for somebody not worth a heartbeat?



I thought he was worth fighting for. Ever since I said yes to him he had been the center of my life.



Times like this I must think of what I used to do before I met him. Maybe the emptiness I felt can be revived by doing things that I forgot to do because of him.



Well, I was young then. I love to read….watch movies…..go out…like to dream……but now I have a daughter to tend to…



"Oh GOD, helps me bear the consequences of my actions. Give me strength and sense of direction".



I missed him, but that would not make me forget that he betrayed our marriage. He doesn’t love me anymore. What could be more hurting than that…..There is no solution but to go on separate ways… His smiles are not for me anymore….his plans, we’re not included…..his ways showed disrespect to me and to people who loved me.



Somehow I am waiting for his parents to visit me. I will not wonder if they do not- and why their son is like that….an apple tree bears an apple fruit and nothing more.



I’m just consoled by the fact that I can cry if I want to……It so hard, may GOD be with me as he always is.