I was 16 and was going through depression and writing it let it all out!!! |
My eyes have shattered From all these tears My heart is broken After all these years. To keep behind closed doors Through smiles I try to hide To all my emotions That I have to keep inside. Patches of sadness Bruises come and fade away Sewn to me is sorrow And the scars that have to stay. When I shut my eyes I want to keep them closed Never opening them again Becuase there my dreamland goes. So manys I've tried to sleep To go to my contentful land But then someone opens my eyes And there they make me stand. Rough times I throw people out Not listening to a word they say Why can't you leave me alone Remember I am ok. My hands are stained blackj From the tears I wipe from my eyes It's where the make up runs It's where my happiness lies. Through windows I see The reflection of my face All distorted and half faded From this dense thick place. Falling asleep is my fatality I will be okay Diminishing into my sorrow It happens everyday. So close I would seem So faraway I would feel So distant in my memory So hard it seems to deal. Waterfalls form a lot where I'm from Down the rockiness of my cheeks Then explode and hit the rock bottom For contentment they've tried to seek. Asleep is where I would like to stay Imagining different things Sorrowful tears fade away And blissfully my heart sings. Though times I've tried again and again To be distressed no more Something clicks inside my head And regret comes running through my door. Drained and insecure Timid I am for life Injured my soul stays Smoldering in my strife. I can't see through this fog Hazy and confused Motionless in this state Unconcious and abused. But one of these days I would hope to see The happy side of things And all my pain will flee. Except when this time comes I'm sure I'll be asleep and gone To my fantasy land Where no one treats me wrong. There I can be myslef No one judges my personality My waterfalls have dried up And I'm my own individuality. Acres and acres becoming clearer The smog and pollution has died Obvious notions come to my means And this is where I go to stay alive. Although wait, here it comes The shadows of my normality My character over looked I'm coming back to reality. Why does this have to happen My reality taking its place Stuck here in this humanity More splitting down my face. Well bruises come and go But I'm the scar that stays Not gasping for a hand to hold Or a breath to help me through my days. I'm an independent visual That happens to be confused My vague mentality of my life That happens to survive bemused. My anticipation forged With my spirit disfigured My hands and support are broken With my mind so not configured. Am I one person Who veils my insecurity Falling to pieces and no one knows Because I am within obscurity. Can't actually tell who I am Or what I'm here to achieve What's my purpose for life For myself I dont believe. Contention is my best friend Though it would seem to be Crowded rooms of deceit It's all surrounding me. I write my outlook down For those who cannot observe These feelings I try to cover So many thoughts I don't deserve. I weep my perdicaments out And they stay where they fall Clashing into fuming insanity My heart has them all. Lifted by the damage Drowned by the glow Raised by the deficient Apathy is what I know During the depression of excavation Now I can finally tell That instant press of energy Is why this person fell Damaged to the bone Ripped in too deep Arriving to my fantasy land Now I stay asleep. |