Sometimes Goodbye Is A Second Chance

The view of the sunset was dark, spreading across the explansion of gloomy sky. The clouds had turned into wisps of smoky cotton, settling across the horizon like a thick, oozing ink that had been knocked onto a pale canvas.  The smell and touch of the wind made the trees groan and sway in the solemn atmosphere, whispering as if there was a secret to be said, but they were not at liberty to say it.

She stood on the balcony of the large brick mansion, the tears in her eyes glistening in the dim sunligh that was slowly fading with the oncoming dusk. The wind chilled her pale, taut skin but she did not seem to notice, even though she was shivering noticeably. She only wore a knee-length cotton night shift, that showed her bony frame through the worn white fabric. The shift did nothing to cover her shoulders, only being held onto her thin body by too straps that bunched on her prominent shoulderblades. She was standing tall, though it seemed that the action was tiring her because her chest was rising and falling almost viciously with each deep sob she allowed out of her lungs. Her toothpick-like arms hung limply at her side, she seemed too pained to move.

Though she was staring intently out across the large, soundless field at the dimming sunset, she did not see it. Her light green eyes were filmy and unblinking, seeing everything but taking in nothing. She did not acknowledge the strong gusts of wind that stung her cheeks, or glance at the sudden movements the trees made in the corner of her eyes. She was almost comatose, catatonic, unaware of the thick atmosphere around her.

"Abbie! Abbie!" A stern voice was carried on the wind, echoing from far below but it was uncertain from where. "Where are you, goddamnit!"

The girl swallowed, her throat raw and painful against the sour breath she swallowed. She could hear the voice, but it made her muscles twitch, made her brain flare into a sort of spasm that caused her to snap out of her current state and replace it with a serious of deep trembles that started in her knees and quickly spread over her entire body like ripples moving through calm water. She seemed paralyzed by them, rocking forward and then backward on the balls of her feet.

"Where the hell are you, you stupid, lazy bitch!" The voice bellowed, a feminine voice hardened by years of contempt and control and anger. "I swear, when I find your stupid ass, I'm going to beat you within an inch of your life!"

The girl sobbed, falling to her knees and wrapping her arms around her rail-thin waist. Her long, greasy black hair swept across the floor of the balcony, making marks in the settled dust that had accumulated there for years, and there was a reason the dust had not been disturbed. This place was off-limits, as well as the room connected to it. She was forbidden to go there, confined to the small, damp room deep in the basement where the rats and cockroaches made their home aswell. Because she was not allowed in this area of the house, she figured it would be the perfect place to go if she wanted to carry through with her plan.

The voice had stopped yelling for the time being, and Abbie rocked forward, her whole body aching as if she had been dipped into a vat of acid. Her skin crawled with fear, pricked by memories that had haunted her for thirteen years and constantly stabbed her deflating heart. She knew the woman was searching for her angrily, cursing under her breath, threatening acts of beating and hell that would leave the girl unable to move, perhaps for good this time. Abbie swallowed, the plan repeating in her head, branding her skull like a fired whip. She knew she had to do it, she knew she had to. If she was going to die, she was going to do it at her hands, not the hands of the disgusting monster she had been chained to since she was just a little girl.

Even though it sounded terrible, she told herself that the woman's fury and uncontrollable anger had been beneficial for the her. All the times she had been beaten to the point of immobility had allowed her to think about things, and think about them thoroughly enough to execute her thoughts perfectly and without error. She had gone over this plan time and time again, smoothing out every wrinkle in the fabric of her mind and ironing it with new-found confidence. She knew she could get this right. Though her life was filled with disappointment and utter dispair, she could feel this time that she was going to succeed.

"Abbie! You stupid little bitch! You wait until I find you! I'll make sure you can't move again! I'll break those chicken legs of yours so you can't walk! Just you wait! Just you wait!"

The girl struggled to stand up straight. The voice seemed close, rolling from the open windows of the mansion, the open windows that she had been forced to clean spotlessly and open. She knew the woman was not stupid, and she had accounted for that in her plan.

With a sob, she took a step toward the wrought iron railing of the balcony, the railing that would the final solution in her life. Her mind was unusually clear, she could feel everything in her body; the thumping of her heart, the rush of the blood in her cold veins, the expansion of her aching lungs as she gapsed in breath after breath, almost savoring every molecule of oxygen.

There was a malicious growl from behind her and she spun around. The woman was standing in the doorway leading onto the balconey, her piggy eyes blazing with utter loathing. Abbie choked on her sour saliva as the woman let out an angry breath.

"What the hell are you doing up here?! Are you out of your disgusting little mind?!" she bellowed, her hands clenching. She smelled fear and she wanted it.

Abbie was trembling so terribly, she could not talk. Her lips were cold and peeling, she could taste the bitter words caught in her throat.

The woman rushed forward, letting an inhumane growl tear from her throat as she outstretched her hands. Abbie sobbed, her bones creaking as she tried moving out of the way. She was stupid, so stupid. She had let her thoughts hurt her once again, devour her once again. She had always thought so much, she could just never do something. All her certainty, all her confidence was expelled from her body as the woman struck her in the chest and in the pelvic bone.

She crumpled to the floor, pain exploding across her body. She could hardly breathe, her chest cavity feeling as though it was collapsed. She spit stringy vomit onto the stone floor as her attacker wrapped a beefy hand in her long hair.

"That's what I thought, you stupid bitch." The woman hissed, dealing her a swift kick to the ribs. "You must be messed up in the head, if you really thought I wouldn't notice your little adventure."

Abbie reeled from blows, tears pouring down her sallow cheeks. This could not be real, she had fool-proofed this plan, she had calculated it down to the last drop, this was unbelievable. But she realized it was very believable, as the woman used a closed fist and punched her in the face.

"You can't get anything past me, you diry slut." she bellowed, throwing the girl onto the ground again by the root of her hair. "Oh, you just wait until I get you back to where you belong. I'll make it so that you won't be able to think for yourself again."

Abbie was hardly breathing, hardly thinking and the film over her brain was beginning to thicken. She wanted to give up, she wanted to let this woman hurt her without a fight. After all, it was the fate that was expelled upon her as a tiny child, when her parents had overdosed on heroin. They had decided her life and she could not chose anything but this. She was not in control and she never was.

"Get up! Get the fuck up!" The woman shrieked, kicking her again as Abbie heaved a breath. "Get up, or I will rip every fucking hair our of your head! Get up now!"

The girl let out a weak moan, trying to move her body. She glanced past the hulking body, through the wrought irons bars not even a foot away from the woman's mocassion-clad feet. She swallowed, her mind clearly slightly. She had just enough strength to get up, but she could use that strength for something else, use it to do the unthinkable.

With a small spurt of adrenaline, she lept forward and placed both of her palms on the woman's abdomen. The small amount of pressure was just enough to get the woman off-balance and because the low height of the balconey railing, and the close proximity of the small area, the woman tottered, falling backwards. Her bulky weight did not help either, and she could not catch herself as she tipped backwards. Abbie watched as the woman tottered for a painstaking moment, her face contorted into a grimace that was reminiscent of the girl's own. Then, in slow motion, the monster toppled over the edge of the short railing, her mauve dress flapping in the breeze.

Abbie took a breath, her eyes wide and her muscles spazzing. A few seconds passed, though it seemed like minutes, before she heard a loud, forboding thud. There was eerie silence and she began trembling again, the pain in her body increasing with every breath she took. She struggled to hobble over the to edge, and when she was there at last, she swallowed and peered over. Laying directly underneath  the balcony was the body of the woman, her limbs sprawled out in awkward positions, a dark puddle slowly oozing from underneath her crushed skull. Abbie let out a heavy breath, her legs going limp as she fell to her knees. In this position, she began crying tears of happiness.