Ned and the Quest For the Dragon

Once upon a time, in far away land…a land of castles and princesses…kings and queens…dragons and knights, there lived a young man by the name of Ned.



Ned was a knight. Or at least, he thought he was. He was the son of a king, King Lawrence. Ned had spent his entire life reading about knighthood, plotting false battle attacks with his toy castle, and riding around on his pony, pretending to fight dragons and gain mounds of treasure. The truth, however, was that he was no better at being a knight (or pretending to be one) than a dog is climbing a tree. He was scared of everything, including birds and certain types of butterflies.



Ned had two sisters. They had always laughed at him, telling him that he would never fight dragons or become a wealthy hero. His sisters’ names were Princesses Timberly and Clarabelle. Why they laughed at him, with names like those, nobody ever figured out.



Ned’s parents had become slightly disturbed by his constant show of cowardice and his lack of swordsmanship.



There had been many discussions that had went something along the lines of this. “Why can’t you just accept me the way I am?” Ned would mutter bitterly.



“We do…” the king and queen would reply, but Ned could see the hesitance in their voices.



When they went out in public, his sisters would smile and wave at the crowds, making sure their crowns were shown and walking primly and curtseying. But they always pretended that they didn’t know Ned.



There were several things no one seemed to notice about Ned, however. Like the fact that he was smart. He had graduated Mid-Evil High School with high honors, and he could speak several languages, including Elf, Troll, and Dragon. But no one seemed to care. All of this made Ned the “Knight” very unhappy.



One day there was a notice stuck up in the middle of town. It read:



Hear ye! Hear ye!



A beautiful princess from the neighboring kingdom of Gecko, Princess Galleria, has been taken captive by a dragon who calls himself “Gladiator”! There is a reward of three million pounds of gold and the hand of the princess if any man is able to rescue her.



Hear ye! Hear ye!



The kidnapping of the princess struck fear into the hearts of many. Including Ned.



“Oh, darling,” Ned heard his mother say as she sat with her husband on their thrones of pure gold. “This is terrible…four men have tried and failed to rescue the princess…they have fought to the death, I’ve heard.”



“Yes, well,” replied the King, “at least old Ned isn’t going after the dragon…you know his dream of being a knight but he really doesn’t have the potential…”



There is probably something else you should know about Ned. He has anger issues. He did get irritated about his sisters laughing at him and his parents not believing in him--that stuff was bad, but what really made him mad was the fact that hi s parents…his own parents were talking about him behind his back, saying he couldn’t do it.



Ned was angry. So angry that he knew if he didn’t control it, he would do something dumb. He didn’t care.



“So Mom and Dad say that I don’t have the potential. I’ll show them. I’ll fight the dragon myself. I don’t care if I’m scared.” He was muttering to himself as he stalked angrily toward the outskirts of town to where the dragon lived.



“Ill show them,” he repeated. “They don’t think I can do it. I can do it! I hate them! I hate my sisters! I hate the woooo----” before he could finish his word, which many people believe was going to be “world”, although some argue with “women” or “wombats”…Before he could finish he let out a piercing scream as the ground “disappeared” and he was suddenly hurtling



into thin air. In his spite and anger, not paying attention to where he was going, even though he knew that he should calm down, he had walked over a cliff. So that was the end of that. And that is the end of the story.



I may not be an expert, but I have a good feeling that most people, up to the point where Ned fell off of a cliff, thought that he was going to fight the dragon and win, and that everyone would come to love him, and that they would apologize. You probably also thought that the moral would be something along the lines of “Just because someone is different, it doesn’t mean they can’t accomplish great things,” or maybe, “If pushed hard enough, you can overcome your fears. Yeah right. This is real life, people. Think about it.



So this ends the tragic and woeful tale of Ned the “Knight” and his anger issues. I hope you now realize that anger is not the answer. Next time you feel driven to fight a dragon or even run over a cliff, take a deep breath and count to ten. And if that doesn’t calm you down, then go for it. Fight that dragon. Jump over that cliff. Who knows? Maybe it was meant to happen. The End.



Moral: Hear ye, hear ye! Ned is dead! We shall now learn a valuable lesson from his mistake: Manage your anger carefully. If you don’t, you’ll end up hurting yourself or someone else. Or yourself and someone else. Or nobody. It just depends on your situation, really.