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one year anniversary after my car accident |
If I were asked to describe this past year, I would without any hesitation answer that the last 365 days were centered on just one word: ORDINARY. Wanting it, struggling for it and falling back into it. For every step I took and all the challenges that crossed (and are still coming) my way marked the importance i.e. the fundamental desire and need to just be and feel ordinary. And by this it is not necessarily implied what is often characterized as normal (because giving a direct definition to this word is still, in my opinion, too hard and absolutely way too personal). What is insinuated looks more into the simplicity, the happiness and the basics that truly matter. “How ordinary” gave meaning to my life! Most of us live by the famous quote “Carpe Diem: seize the day”: to live life to the fullest, to live this day as if it were our last! Although it appears to be so very obvious, it may nevertheless sometimes be put aside and perhaps even taken for granted. Yet we can undoubtedly still judge the relevance of this philosophy and say how very much inspired we are by it. For this motto must be one of the few untouchable truths in this world. We are aware of the fact that any moment could be our last. This conversation could be our last words spoken. This song could be the last we’ll dance to. And that sunset could be the last we’ll ever see. The last… everything. Today, as every day, I remember the impact of “this could be the last…” I remember what it feels to be short of breath. I remember how it is to go through the fear of leaving this life behind. Today, I remember. … But today, as every day, I also, most importantly, remember to praise GOD for every new “first” He has granted me. My first blink of an eye was a driving force to catching my breath. My first meal made me realize how much I hunger for life. My first shower taught me that even the most essential things can be the highlight of one’s day. I remember my first smile, my first laugh, my first walk, my first dance and that very first sunrise I was able to witness. Today, I am reminded how and why my first… everything took such a significant turn: the one of the ever greatest joys and gratefulness. Many firsts came easily but others required more patience and effort. And a lot of them I am still whole-heartedly wishing to experience. As a door closed, another one opened, giving shape to a different – better, deeper, clearer - perspective. “How ordinary” gave meaning to my life! Recognizing our blessings in the ordinary makes the “small”, the “even smaller” and evidently, the “bigger” become so very special and unforgettable. And I came to the conclusion that every existing adjective as every sensational, magnanimous and extraordinary feeling is but a tender, sweet and of course, sophisticated expression of our appreciation for the ordinary. Everything starts from there as we get to perceive it, not with our senses, but with the heart. Today, every single day, I remember. |