The Unexpected Sands

"Alix... Um afraid it's bad news... She didn't make it..."
I wonder through the nights empty streets unsure of where exactly I was headed. I'm too wired to sleep, my thoughts too full of memories. The street lamp above me flickers and barely gives out any light. Well at least there's one thing I love about this time of night in Torbay, you'll scarcely find anyone living soul out here at night. The roads and cars lay silent as their occupants snore away all their worries and cares. But I like it like this; gives me more room to breath. The shops have there shutters down and all the house lights are out. To many people being out at this time of night would be scary or weird, but I just love the stillness of the air, the cool chill that daytime could never give. It makes you feel more relaxed I think, and because this town is so small it’s not like you’ll find many thieves or murderers here. It’s placid. The only sound that can be heard for miles around is the gentle, rolling waves of the sea. I glance around the dark street and a poster on the wall opposite catches my eye; it reads:
Cancer; Together we can fight it!
See your Doctor Today and Help Save Lives!
I sigh allowing a single tear to run down my cheek. My feet automatically keep moving taking my away from the poster and my memories. I shake my head. “You shouldn’t think about it, not now” I mutter to myself. Still unsure of where exactly Decided to pick one single direction and see where it leads, at least that way I wouldn’t get lost. But in a place this small I doubt even I could get lost.
I crossed the road and headed left, the houses were becoming less dense around here so I guessed I was coming to the edge of the town. The sea was louder here and that’s when it hit me. I was heading to the beach.
I'd only been there twice but it was beautiful, and I bet it would look perfect at this time of night. I can't think of a better place to clear my head and take away my sadness. I walk faster trying to keep down my tears that threaten to engulf me at any moment. Memories flood my mind...
“She fought very hard, but in the end the cancer was just too strong... I'm really sorry..."
I couldn’t stand it; I had to get rid of the memories. I ran, faster and faster, tears streaming down my eyes, the sea salt air stings at them making them hurt but I don’t care. All I can hear in head is "Get to the beach, run, RUN!" so I did. I reach the gate to the dunes only to find that it's locked. I climb over the fence to the side where there is no barbed wire and continue jogging up to the dunes. My heart hurts in my chest but I keep going. It's still dark but the clouds are beginning to lighten and the horizon to my right begins to show more colours than just black. I climb dune after dune, kicking sand as I go. Over the final dune and I stand in awe of the scene in front of me.
The sea is a brilliant sapphire blue and the sand mustard yellow. Tiny snippets of grass can be seen popping out all over the place and turtle tracks can be seen from the previous night. Birds dance in and out of the clouds and there’s a small seal far out in the water; bobbing up and down lying on its back. I sigh and I stumble down the dunes, sand filling my shoes as I walk toward the brilliant dark blue waters. The wind whistles around me; causing me to stop. The wind almost sounds like it’s singing to me; talking to me. I stumble and fall, landing on my knees sending a shock of pain run through me. I yell and nurse my painful knee while the wind whirls and to my disbelief I hear words floating with the wind. “Alix..." It calls. I hardly believe my ears.
"Mum..." I call my voice weak and cracked. "Mum... Is that you? Where are you?" This can’t be happening I think to myself, I’ve gone insane. But again I hear the soft low mummer of my mother’s voice "its okay baby, I’m safe..." The wind spins around me, lifting the sand up creating a kind of barrier around me. I stare at bizarre circle of sand rushing around me. I stand up in disbelief and slowly I stretch out my hand and allow it to silently flow through the sand. “Unreal...” I mummer. Then through the sand I see a shape; a human shape. It walks towards but as I look down I notice that it doesn’t leave any footprints in the sand. I couldn’t see who exactly it was but I knew it was mum, it’s weird but I could just sense it.
"I miss you mum..." I sigh and tears fill my eyes but I hold them back, not wanting to cry in front of mum and waste what time we had. Seagulls overhead squawk and fly in circles around my head above. The wind seems warm around me but I want to step out of the circle and into mum’s arms. I step forward but mum steps away. “You can only see me in the circle I’m afraid hunny. That’s how it works. Don’t worry though I’ll always be with you. Whenever you need me, just listen to the wind.” Usually I would go on about how that makes no sense, but I knew she didn’t have time. She sounded faint and distant.
“I love you” I call but the shape was already dissolving so I doubt she heard me. The wind finally slowed around me and the sand falls to the ground around me, leaving me breathless from the sudden lack of air. Hearing my mother's voice filled me with great happiness as well as great sadness. I smile but at last the tears spill from my eyes. I sit heavily on the sand, silently sobbing. My whole body shacks uncontrollable and I wrap my arms around my sandy, wet jeans. I suddenly feel a overwhelmingly tired come over me. I close my eyes and hum the lullaby mum used to sing to me as a child. I look over the sea, only to see that the waves have changed, instead of the slow and steady rhythmic sound they used to make, they now roll along with my lullaby, beating in perfect time with me. I pull my arms over my head and sigh into my sleeve. My head feels dizzy and I can’t place the sensation in my stomach. Why did I come to the beach in the first place? How did I know she’d be here? My mind races and I get up off the sand trying to think straight. I go to sit closer to the sea, remove my shoes and paddle my feet in the cool water. The seal is still lying on its back far out to sea, how peaceful it looks. I sea the light finally breaking over the horizon and the clouds are beginning to clear to reveal the pale blue sky. I lay down again, my feet still in the water, and gaze up at the sky. I close my eyes and before I know I’m being taken away deep into my unconscious.
In my dream I see mum sitting next to me, holding my hand. I smile as we walk long the beach and she tells me all about the things she’s seen. Somehow in my dream I know it can’t be real, but also I feel somehow it is. We talk about life, my dad, religion, and dreams. She tells me of life beyond life. “But mum, how could I’m here with you?” I ask concerned. She smiles at me, a low, sad smile. She puts her hand on my shoulder and leans to kiss me on the forehead.
“I’m sorry baby. I’m afraid it’s time.” She says cooing at me. I smile at her, not a sad smile but I happy one. She gives me a questioning look.
“Mum its okay. I’m not scared. I just want to be with you” I reply as we sit on one of the white beaches at the back of the beach. I lay my head on her shoulder and we sit watching the sun rise over the sapphire blue. I look into the sea and in its clear blue I see the beach on which I lay. I see my body lying on a rock far out into the bay. It’s not a pretty site but I this is where I want to be. I see my dad and a bunch of policeman standing on the edge of the beach. He looks at my body and he falls to the floor in grief. I know how sad it must be for him but this is where I want to be. With mum in peace.
The End