Olivia

First Entry
What a lovely book I have bought myself. It's just perfect for journaling- the size, paper, margins- there's nothing worse than a cramped journal.
I have to admit horror at my former attempts is haunting me just a bit now. The stilted language, melodramatic description, preachiness, desperate attempts to seem wise beyond my years, awkward consciousness of seeming cute, lack of any real honesty…horrid, horrid experience.
As I don't want this lovely journal ending up burnt in the fireplace, or tossed in the pond, or thrown into the rubbish heap (though that is not nearly violent enough an end to be preferable) I will simply have to try better.
So I will began by telling you about everyone in my house.
DESCRIBE MALVOLIO, MARIA, ATTENDANT, FABIAN, TOBY.
Now you must be wondering why I have not spoken of my family and that is because I am all there is.
I have been mistress of my house for twelve months now, which is how long ago my brother Othello died, and he had only been master for a little while since father died.
Death, so much death. I miss them so much sometimes.
But please, don't pity me. I detest pity. I won't go down that road until I have more time to write and to cry. I can't be getting emotional right now.


Second Entry
Now there was something quite important I decided not to write about in my last entry. I am just now very angry about it so it is now a good time.
Duke Orsino is in love with me.  He is everything…everything any woman could want. He is ridiculously wealthy and owns lots and lots of land. He has distinguished himself many times in battle and is quite famous for it. He is very intelligent and graduated first in his class at the university. No one could ever say he is not handsome. And all his dealings with everyone are characterized by honesty, generosity, wisdom, and general flawlessness.
He really does love me and his asked me to marry him.
I do not love him. I know this surprises you (or at least I hope it does. I did do my best to keep my sarcasm out of the previous paragraph). Believe me, I have heard just how shocking this is many, many times. People undoubtedly call me headstrong, proud, and murmur about how girls without fathers are want to go astray. It is none of those things, it's just- well, listen now, I am going to try to convince you why I cannot marry him and hopefully my description of him was fair enough of him that this will be a tough job.
It is very hard to remember my feelings for Orsino before he started courting me but I will do my best to set them down. First of all,  I used to respect him very much. It's just, I never thought of him in that way. It's impossible to describe… he seemed wooden ... he seemed fake somehow.  When I thought of marrying him back then (for in honesty young girls always imagine every young man they meet as their husband) it always seemed profane, sacrilegious even.
Then  he began to court me.  I was not very concerned about it at first, but then, out of the blue, he proposed.  I was shocked. I shot off a note which I hoped would put an end to it all. But it didn't.
This is the tenth month of his court. He will stop at nothing. I mean it, nothing. None of my denunciations are too blunt for him to disregard, none of my coldness  is mean enough to throw him of his course, no humiliation is too great  for my sake (for thus he wrote in a poem he sent me). He is absolutely desperate, more than desperate. It's repulsive. Every look, every smile, every word, every poem, every messenger- every attention he pays me just makes him more and more abhorrent. 
He has grown so desperate, humiliates himself so thoroughly. How can I love  a man who is practically groveling  at my feet?
All I want is to be left alone. Othello has not been dead for so long. But he sends and sends and sends, each messenger more obnoxious than the next.
And for this people call me hard-hearted; that is no secret. Honestly, I wish that there was not this huge quarrel between the duke and I. I hate his emissaries, I hate the gossip, I hate the stares of cold disapproval I sometimes get. You see the quandary I'm in.

Third Entry
Something has happened that I never thought could happened! Oh, I want to jump right in- but I will introduce it for you.
The morning seems so long ago! It was horrid - the weather was dismal, Mavolio was at his most pompous and Toby at his most obnoxious. Then Maria came in to tell me Orsino had sent a messenger. I was very firm that Malvolio not let him in, but he was very stubborn so in the end there was no avoiding it.
So, you know what we did- Maria got the veils out and she and Lucia and I all sat on the sofa  together, so he had no idea which was me when he came in.  We made fun of him and laughed terribly at  his  speech and generally  behaved appallingly, which usually will send  a normal messenger fleeing. But he got angry and asked to speak to me alone. And to reward his pluck I granted his request. And then-oh! I must just say it!
I am in love! I have absolutely fallen in love!
Don't ask me how it happened or why, I just know this is a man I want to get to know- a man with whom I want to have long talks, take long walks, dance with the whole night long, spend tender moments, steal secret kisses. I could walk forever and never grow tired if I was with him.  I could spend my whole life with him and never get sick of him.
All I can think about is him.
And I must see him again…in fact, I know I will. I did something a little wicked. He left and-oh!-he just left me so breathless and thoughtless. I had Malvolio run after him and made up a fib about a ring he left with me.
I think I may regret it a bit now- what will he think? Oh, who cares so long as he comes!