The Change

The Change

At my school before I could truly complete 7th grade I had to come to terms with the infamous 7th grade hike. I thought, “Man, like I need another outdoor experience!”

The last time we had one of these hikes I know we got lost because our teacher, Mr. Inman, was all like “we are almost there!” I was like “dogga man we been walk for like 3 hours and we still haven’t found this **** campground.” Chris, one of the people in my group, said like “Matt you go ahead and ask man!” I said “Na, y’all can do that, I am not gon’a even waste my breath on that and my legs already feel like they gon’a fall off.” I asked Chris, “we started out at like 7 am for this and its goin on damn like 2 o’clock, wasn’t this supposed to be like a 45 minute hike? Damn, I think we been bamboozled just like our favored movie and the word we had to learn.” Chris laughed, “Man I think you right Matt!” I said “Man, I am sweating in places I didn’t even knows I could sweat in”. We finally got there at like 4 pm.

After that experience I said, “I am not going to take anymore hikes unless they try and keep me from going to the next grade.” Chris said, “I can see why this 7th grade hike is supposed to separate the men from the boys and the girls from the women.”  My response was  “Like ooh no, hell no, not again, so we can get lost and spend our last days with people we for the most part don’t like”. In spite of these feelings I came to find that the 7th grade hike brought pain and humility, but most of all integrity in the face of adversity.

At the beginning of my 7th grade year I was 13 and weighed 280 pounds. I knew nothing of athleticism except for the disappointments of not being like these who had it.

The 7th grade hike was something of great fear and shame. During the hike, I was put into a group of hikers known as the slower group. The group consisted of me and Chris, John, Mike and James and four other kids who could not keep up with the faster kids. It was ok at first because I was with people who I was use to seeing.

The hike started off at a slow gradient then transitioned to seven miles off switchbacks uphill. Just the sight of the hill was painful. As I went up the trail I found myself in a type of unfamiliar pain. My muscles were hurting and there was no redemption in sight. The only way of quitting was to reach the end of the trail. The pain pushed through my body in waves like a domino effect. I hurt more than I ever had in my life. In spite of this, something in me was changing. I had the integrity to never give in, even if everyone was telling me to do so. I thought of my father’s words “I sing body electric when the mind and body are as one.”

My group left me behind and eventually my counselor did as well. I moved too slowly for them. I felt as if I was a wounded animal left behind to perish for the better of the group. Yet, I was not this and would not allow them to make me so. I thought of “mind and body are as one”. I stopped for one breath and then looked into myself to catch a glimpse of what I am and what I could become if I was able to just let go of the pain. With every step, I became more empowered with the hope and faith to become what I saw in that glimpse.

Once I reached the pinnacle of the hill, I lost the part of me that held me back.  I learned to overcome obstacles and problems by thinking of what I am able to do. That year I lost 120 pounds. To this day I will never look at myself the same way.