Close to someone

I say this a lot,
I don't want to get close to anyone.
I say this a lot,
I don't need anyone in my life.
I say this a lot,
My destiny is carved by my own hands.
I say this a lot,
There is nothing in this world that can make me cry.

But when there is a chance,
That I can be close to someone

I try hard,
Getting close to that someone.
I try hard,
In making a bond with them.
I try hard,
To not let go of their hand.
But I don't know how,
It always seems to slip away.

How does it feel,
To be close to someone?
How does it feel,
To share all of your life?
How does it feel,
To sacrifice something for them?
How does it feel,
To know that you have a shoulder to cry?

When there is a chance,
That I can find the answers.

I try hard,
Getting close to that someone.
I try hard,
In making a bond with them.
I try hard,
To not let go of their hand.
But I don't know how,
It always seems to slip away.

I am afraid.
I am scared.
Of the deceit,
and the pain that follows.
I am afraid.
I am scared.
Of expectations,
and my failure to meet them.

But when there is a chance,
That I can be close to someone.

I try hard ...
I wonder if its true anymore
I try hard ...
I don't believe myself
I try hard ...

I can't be close to anyone,
And I know why.