Phased

(Prelude)

         Non-existence, for him, was the most apt description for such a place. No winds blew here, calm nor frenzied. Light and color were subjective in this realm. For him, both took upon the shade of purity, a paper-white blandness. There was no definite placement. Directions could not take hold of such emptiness and, at the same time, could not grasp something so infinite. Slowly, he gathered his bearings and decided to move what was forward in his senses, reorienting himself to cease the nausea that was pricking at his mind. By force of habit, he breathed in, noticed the lack of oxygen, and did not bother to exhale. It would only take up energy to even force something that need not be done, and all in all shorten his time in the nothingness. He needed to act quickly. Every motion, even minor ones, ate at borrowed time. Closing his eyes, he focused and started to form an image in his head. Opening his eyes, he gathered the image in, and frowned.

         A mass of viscous transparent crimson enveloped a slender human form. A mess of bleach blonde bangs veiled the eyes, showing only a small nose and thin white lips. Curled in a fetal position, nothing could be seen except for the pallidness of the skin. But before Reion could take in any more of the details, the blob of blood swallowed itself, including the lifeless corpse within it, condensing into a black sphere. He held his hand out to it and crushed it, splattering blackened goo and gore onto himself and the white around him. His eyes screwed shut and he faced downward, a solitary tear escaping the once stoic barrier of his deep lavender orbs. Feeling the constricting of his throat and the asphyxiation that followed, he steeled himself for the return to what was loosely called reality.

         But it did not come. Instead, he continued to choke, despite him expecting the sensation to fleeting. Alarmed, he stepped back and lost balance, free-falling into the white that enveloped him. By instinct, he started to claw out and grasp at his throat, panic riddling him with fear. Eyes watering and cheeks changing hue, he was able to expend enough of his energy to save himself from what seemed to be an unexpected death. The white started to fade while all around him and the setting started to convert into the more conventionally known parameters. Shine and shadows danced in wet paint slime as the spectrum of visible light started to color objects. Things started to have substance, texture and a definite structure. Unable to cope with the amount and speed of the data that his mind was processing, he blacked out; spiraling into a void inverse to the whiteness he had fallen from: unconsciousness.










Chapter 1:

         “At first, they were but ephemeral hazes of shadow: It was of porcelain, at one point in time. So blank. So empty… that mask. There was no hint of happiness at all in that expression. Maliciousness emanated from the very sight as it started to spiral slowly, at first, then it spun as I was locked into a half-dream, half-awake state. It spun there, that mask, in the middle of the space of my window. I was frozen, I could see, I could feel, I could hear, but I could not move. I tried to shut my eyes but to my despair the mask remained to haunt me. In the midst of it all, the mouth grew wider and wider, then as it was almost too grotesquely huge, it started to laugh. It was a shrill, high pitched laughter that gave off no sound of lightness, but a maniacal and piercing tone that chilled me to the bone. On and on, it reverberated. Gradually, the mask started to crumble and form dust, as the remnants of the rubble it left behind formed my face. I screamed awake.

         “But as the days progressed, my dreams regressed. It was of flesh, at one point, and thus putrid. I remember the malodorous stench which, in so unreal a fashion, billowed as a massive cloud, clinging to the olfactory, making my eyes shed acid tears that burn away skin, melt muscles, and disintegrate bones. I was unfeeling to the pain that should have been for it was myself I saw, though far detached I was. As if a spirit recalled seeing its own dying days, I was to witness immeasurable agony of self, yet in so a way that seems… impersonal.

         “Red eyes, I saw then, those that shed tears once of sadness. Its iris was now elongated, giving it a lethally feral countenance as of if to signify a plummeting of senses from human to instinctive ferociousness, with no other intent but survival. I see it, myself, stare at its, my own, mangled arm with a look of gluttonous hunger, an untamable passion. They sink deeply now, those teeth that then grew into sharp daggers, issuing forth a gush of thick crimson, warm to the touch, warm as if to signify its ability to give life. But now it is spilt. Then pooling on the ground, it is absorbed by the damp earth, which now radiates the heat of redness. Eater is eaten: both two but one. I screamed awake.

         “The insanity ticked as constantly as the second hand, which so elusively sways, points everywhere, signifying the enveloping darkness that proved inevitable and imminent.

         “Days later, I have come to fear sleep. And yet, inevitably, I succumbed to its temptation one last time. I steeled myself for any horrors that might come. The past experiences accumulated at the back of my mind; at the forefront was the mask and flesh, taunting me. Yet this last dream was unexpected, to say the least.

         “It started off with me in a meadow with the scene tranquil, and the breeze lively and lukewarm. Noticing for the first time that I lay on the grass, I closed my eyes and was relieved to find nothing but darkness and the sun’s light permeating my eyelids, bathing the darkness in a dim shine. As I reopened my eyes, I witnessed the wideness of the blue expanse of the sky. Looking down, I saw the hints of blue, indigo and violet mixing with the greenness of the grass. Behind them, upon the horizon, I saw the trees cover the forest area, blending into nature at the farthest extent of my vision. As I inhaled, the calming soothing aroma of lavenders filled my senses. It was as if the smell was palpable in my mind. Memories flew here and there; I could not fully grasp it. The sensation was surreal. I was at peace.

         “But as I blinked, I stared right into a feminine face. I could recall the details. Her nose was a small, cute protrusion, the very first I saw. Trailing downwards, I glanced at pale, almost white, thin lips. Before I could finish, her eyes captured mine into a locked gaze. Matching the flowers around us, her eyes had the intensity of the lavenders, and yet something about them was mysterious, something ethereal. Frailty was etched in her face as smooth, even paler, skin graced her features. It was inexplicable how I seemed to have been waiting for her. There was no pang of surprise, nor suddenness of moment.”

         He closed his eyes as he continued. My hands clenched tightly, anticipating the ending I knew that would come. 

         ”Mesmerized, I did not see her place her lips onto mine into a sweet chaste kiss. I could not react, frozen by her odd beauty. Suddenly, my chest constricted and I felt no heartbeat. I gasped for air. I could not breathe. I saw the crimson trailing from her lips, then a hole where my heart had been. I was forced to close my eyes, their weight suddenly unbearable.  Then succumbing to the final call of the most final sleep, I withered away into the peace of death.”

         I inwardly cringed at his description of the woman, of his murderer, and let my voice trickle in its usual icy monotone.

         “What an intriguing mind…”

Chapter 2:

         “After his narration, I saw a quiet, too serene, look on his face. I stood and, as intended, his eyes followed my movement. My lisps quivered slightly and I could not help but shiver. Those eyes pierced right through mine. Bearing my trademark lavender, he gazed at me with them. Perhaps he sensed my unease but, nonetheless, he closed his eyes. I was nonplussed; his disposition was unnervingly calm. From the beginning, I knew that this man was different, but now I was simply unsure. I mused at the possibilities of keeping him, and letting him go. The first met a sense of joy. It was almost palpable as my skin crawled with delight at the thought of him staying. It has only been a day and yet I felt my attraction to this particular soul strengthen with each passing minute. Enigmatic as he was, I was simply allured by his difference. He was so simple, and yet so irritatingly complex. He forced my mind into brambles with the mere thought of it. But as the second possibility came to light, I sensed a pang of sadness stronger, perhaps, than any I have felt before. It felt strange to me, his murderer, to keep him so close. If he was a temptation to endure I simply could not tell anymore. After two lifetimes, my soul has yet to comprehend even an iota of the possibilities and the depth of emotion. But then both lives were spent in complete solitude because I was a lone predator. I needed minds and souls to sustain my own life force, and continue to walk this pocket realm. Yet now I feel so disgusted at myself in retrospect to the things I’ve done. I do not know why I had a sudden change of heart. But perhaps the reality of all this surreal amidst the fantasies and impossibilities I have encountered brought me to clarity. I will wither away soon. I have not fed. But for the likes of me, death will not be achieved unless I find someone to take my place. It is a binding contract that can be imposed upon whim. He will be my successor. My legacy as the eater of souls will go on through him, whether he likes it or not.”

         A knock reverberated in the room, snapping her out of her musings. It was the only sound beside her voice. The mirror she was reciting to folded itself infinitely into nothing. A spiraling helix of orange and white trailed from its center point, and exploded into smoke. As she inhaled it, her conversation with the mirror was stored into the depths of her memory, to be awoken upon whim.

         Afterward, she exhaled and relaxed, allowing herself to say, “Come in.”

         Materializing out of what seems to be a door, a solid black rectangular plank, was a mask which stood afloat in a white haze, assuming a spectral form. Then, it slowly started to phase in and out of vision, appearing to be a blur. But within that time, features began to manifest themselves, and the smoke appeared to slowly become tactile and solid. A human figure stood across her after several seconds, which then immediately bowed. The feminine monotone continued after seeing the gesture.

         “What is it you want?”

         Straightening up, he looked straight into her eyes, lavender against lavender. The tension rose slightly, and her heart started to pick up its pace. He did not mean to look so imposing, but there was no other way for him to do this. She was too coy for him to try smooth words and roundabout conversations. He would not win that way. Besides, he had been far too submissive as it was.

         Slowly walking, maintaining his gaze, he started, “When will you tell me why?”

         Frowning, she stubbornly kept eye contact. She would not let him win this time. Her equanimity was fading, but she tried her very best to look at least somewhat composed. A firm and strict hand would not allow such daring in his part, but said hand was shaking slightly against her chest, the other gripping tightly against her silken clothing.

         “If you already know, why ask me?” Her tone was sharp, defensive. Sighing, he approached her. Remaining calm and confident, he let the smoothness of his voice permeate her crudely stitched defenses.

         “It has to come from you,” he started, “Speculation is only just…”

         If it were to continue, she would definitely lose the bout. And as if it weren’t hard enough, the burdening guilt and truth encumbered her mind.

         “If you are so eager to know, then yes. I haunted your dreams, and murdered you in it. I stole your soul and cast you to death and back. And you aren’t the only one. Don’t flatter yourself. Just like them,” she paused, emphasizing the words come, “I will get bored with you.”

         Standing up and meeting him half-way, she cupped his chin and slowly led it down to look straight into his eyes. The look she was giving him was forced. She failed at trying to intimidate him. In fact, the confusion in her eyes looked almost painful. Tiptoeing, she allowed her lips to momentarily graze his.

         Desire was on the forefront of that decision, as she weakly said the next words, almost a whisper, “But you… you are different.”

         For once, he felt his heart beat in urgency. Their closeness was choking him. It was almost intoxicating to be so near her. He was startled and did not know if she meant what she said, or if he felt her soft lips upon his in that split-second moment.

         Confused, he let out his next words coldly, “You admit to killing me, sounding so detached and nonchalant all the while. But now… you seduce me,” He paused, a slight tightening in his chest forcing him to breathe deeply, “Am I really just your… plaything?” The last word was choked out, almost pathetically. Steeling himself, he did not bother to wait for a reply and continued, “Let me go. Give me the peace of death that I deserve.”

         As realization dawned on her, she mustered all of her strength and fought back tears. Her feelings for him began to grow into more than infatuation, as the thought of his pseudo-eternal incarceration tugged at her very being.

         With a heavy heart, she spoke softly, the apologetic tone sounding almost pleading. “I cannot. You will replace me. I will wither away into nonexistence soon. I cannot continue what I have been doing. My desire to exist… escapes me.”

         As he heard this, he looked away from her and stared directly ahead, avoiding her eyes. Anger and sadness mingled and battled as he spoke, “So that’s it… I’m just your scapegoat. Nothing more…”

         Breathing deeply and closing her eyes, she lied, “Yes.”

Forcing her to the wall, he trapped her in between his arms. He lightly tapped his forehead on hers, forcing her to look straight into his eyes, the once cerulean hint was starting to surface amidst the cursed lavender that she marked him with. Arms falling limp to the sides, she gave up and looked backed at him. Her eyes communicated the hidden sorrow she suffered, while the hint of vulnerability she had made her whole being seem so dangerously fragile. His heart was pounding in his ears; the moment caused his chest to tighten.

Weakly, he started, “What is it you want with me? Lately you’ve just been playing with my mind…” uncertainty made him pause, giving her time to reply.

“I do not know!” she cried out, startling him. “I just… don’t know anymore.” With the threat of tears, she averted her face from his, stubbornly refusing to show any sign of weakness.

“I can’t just accept that,” he backed out a bit and cupped her chin. “Look at me, and just tell me what I am, what I should be…” He made her face him, both their eyes quivering at the surge of emotions, “You’ve kept me here a month. Not a day passes that you don’t try to seem so commanding, and yet you haven’t withered away like you said, nor have I been branded with your curse.”

Doubt raced in her mind as she drew upon the worst of conclusions, making her feel so numb and helpless. “Is that it, then? Do you just want me gone and take my place? Very well… it should not take much longer now.” The iciness was apparent in her voice, and the once shaky eyes now carried a sense of scorn and anger.

As he heard those words, his let his face fall to the crook of her neck, his lips close to her ears. “Now you seem so cold… why are you doing this to me?” The innocence and burden in his voice disarmed her, and she could not help but clutch him close. In her mind, the thought of the forbidden seemed so sweet once more.

Sensing her mistake, she allowed herself to calmly say, “Around you, I do not know even my self… You do not know what you do to me.” He closed his eyes and let himself be soothed by her voice, his anger dissipating.

Slowly, solemnly, he confessed, “Let me go… I cannot take this anymore…”

A lone tear escaped her.