A paradox of my life's journey |
When I finally believed that all hope was gone I was blessed with the gift of desperation The light of which, shone brightly on my hidden face An act that was Divine indeed To reach this place was a blessing in disguise Although, at the time, it felt more like an insult My ego smashed, in a state of pure powerlessness That is the depth of my fall from Grace I did not understand something was being done for me That I could not conceive or would not do for myself It was Gods’ hand that touched me in such an odd way Aware now that I could not continue the same pathway The old self had to die a slow agonizing death For a new me to be born anew, a new creature In the eyes of God, my fellow man and the world To become someone that was foreign to me It is only this gift of desperation that could catalyze this change This metamorphosis in mind, attitude, perception and action So mysterious, so new and so drastic in its magnitude So precious a Blessing that it still astounds to this day What was believed to be the end became the first steps in a new journey A journey of quietness, peace contentment and service Freedom from the demons that nipped at my heels for decades Chains that had bound me were broken, wounds were healed This gift of desperation has carried me to places unthinkable To be a man amongst my fellows, a citizen of mankind Rather than a stranger bound in fear and dominated by self I am amazed at how my journey has changed direction The gift of desperation |