Circulate Chapter 3

20/ 10/ 00

Dear Diary,

Wow, what a week. I did a class debate for English this afternoon, yesterday I finished my HTML page to put on the Internet for Computer Studies, and the day before that was getting my part as the First Witch in Macbeth for Drama class. Oh yeah, and I found out my school is haunted... Just another week in my life that was supposed to end a little over two weeks ago.

I'm fighting with Pat at the moment over this ghost business. And to top it all off, Nelson seems to be avoiding the both of us! I don't know why she's avoiding me. But I can understand the Pat part because he was a total dickhead about it all!

What happened was, we were in the computer lab downloading stuff off the net when the temperature dropped, and we heard footsteps, and then we saw a ghost of a lady wearing olden day clothes walk through a wall!

Then when we ran back to Pat’s room, we learned from Pat that he's seen something strange from Professor Hamilton’s office too. He said he saw a strange bright light in the middle of the night. Nelson was going to say something else, which I think it was going to be important about this school or something. But then Pat says something really mean and she walks off!

Now she's not talking to either of us, so I'm not talking to Pat.

Since Thursday night, in class or in the cafeteria, I've been sitting between Sally and Maya, or Zack and Peter, so I can avoid Pat.

Actually, talking about class, Nelson has been acting strangely there too.

She kept asking Dr. Knight in Math’s and then in Biology all these really weird questions. Like in Biology she asked Dr. Knight what kind of creatures could be classified dead even if they appeared to be alive? Or what were the symptoms of death besides no brain activity or heart rate? Or something like that... I think it has something to do with what we saw last Thursday night. I wish I knew what was going on with her.

I’ve just finished my session with Nell that I had this afternoon. She said I seemed preoccupied with something and asked if I wanted to talk about it. I didn't want her knowing about Thursday night and how I'm going to try and investigate the school. So instead I brought up the topic of my Dad again and spent the last 40 minutes bitching about him.

The good thing about this weekend is we can go into Brownsville. Tomorrow morning a shuttle bus will take us Sophomores into town for the day so we can either shop in the department store, hang out at the diner or go the movies in that tiny little cinema that they have. I'm going to use this chance to ask some of the locals about the history of Hamilton's. Maybe there are rumors about it? Small towns usually have rumors or stories, don't they?

Zack asked me if I wanted to go see a movie with him, but I don't know... I don't think he's asked anyone else. When I asked him who else is coming along, and he looked uncomfortable and said he didn't know, he hadn't thought about it! Oops. I probably just stuffed up his plans. Oh well, maybe he can help me with mine instead... I'm thinking of telling him and Sally and Maya. I think they'll believe me, and then it will be great to have a brainiac like Maya onboard to help me unearth the history and secrets of this place! I'll tell them tonight after dinner. But before then, I'm going to try and make another attempt at talking to Nelson.


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TO: [e-mail]
FROM: [e-mail]
SUBJECT: Guess What?!?
DATE: 20/ 10/ 00

Hey,

You’re not gonna believe what I saw two nights ago... a ghost in Alpha Building!

I was in the computer lab with Nelson and Pat when the room got really cold, then we heard footsteps in the hallway. And when we went to go and have a look, we saw the back of this lady wearing olden day clothes disappear into a wall at the end of the corridor! She looked all see-through and really bright, like she was made out of light or something.

Actually Nelson saw first. Tonight after dinner I went into her room for a smoke and I confronted her to see why she's been acting so strangely since we saw it (actually Pat has been acting pretty strange too, acting like he never saw it and doesn't want to talk about it either). Anyway, Nelson told me that she saw the front of the ghost, and she recognized the face. She said it looked exactly like Dr. Knight, our Math’s and Biology teacher!!!

I didn't know what to say... I don't know if I believe her or not. I mean this school is weird enough with out the idea that our teachers are the undead! Hang on, aren't the undead vampires? OK, let me rephrase that... it's hard enough being here in the middle of nowhere with out wondering if you're being taught by the dead and restless. That sounds better... actually, that would make a cool short story for my English assignment!

So anyway, I told Nelson that I told Zack, Sally and Maya about what we saw over dinner tonight and that they believed me. Well, two of them did. Zack told me that Peter told him ghost stories that a Senior had told him, and Sally seemed really up on all things supernatural (another thing we have in common) and she said that the temperature drop and footsteps were trademarks of hauntings. Then ole booknerd and know-it-all Maya said it sounds a little too characteristic and asked if I had any proof. So I turned around and told her that with her help of looking up stuff, we can find the proof we need.

Zack asked me heaps of questions, like what did the ghost look like? I told them that the kind of dress that she was wearing looked to be in the same fashion that I saw in a Mel Gibson movie, called "The Patriot”. Sally instantly knew the movie I was talking about, and said that that was around the 1700's. I wandered out loud if these buildings here are that old and Zack said that we would find out. Then we all looked at Maya to see if she was in or not. Maya said "not", because she has her school work to concentrate on, then she got up and walked away.

"Don't worry, she's not the only one who knows how to read a book you know." Zack joked and nudged me. "We'll help you find out this stuff. Did you want to do it after the movie tomorrow, or skip the movie?"

He looked a bit worried or something, so I looked at Sally, then back at him and said afterwards, which he looked really relieved about. Sally suggested we meet at the Diner afterwards in the town. She knows the owner a little and reckons we can ask her some questions about Hamilton’s.

I asked Nelson if she wanted to meet us at the Diner, but she shook her head and said she'd wait to see what I find out. She seems a bit paranoid lately, now that she thinks she saw the ghost of our Math’s and Biology teacher. Maybe she's scared of this school now, and of all the teachers here. She's always looking over her shoulder or hanging out in her room. I mean, she already did this and never talked to the other students here much anyway, but she's doing it even more now. I wonder if she's cutting us all out in a way to protect herself somehow?

Patrick isn't much help. Nelson used to hang with him, but since he's been a dickhead with this whole haunting thing, I think his attitude has made Nelson even more introverted. Since she can't talk to him, somebody who was there when she saw this, maybe she feels like she can't talk to anyone? I have to take a bloody crowbar to her to get anything out of her now. It's kind of a pity, because I really like her, even if she is bitchy sometimes.

I know what you'll say Angie, I'm a glutton for punishment! Remember our Math’s teacher Mr. Soames said that in class, when I didn't do my homework and he gave me all those detentions? Some kind of masochist that keeps hurting herself. Oh well, as long as I enjoy it, right? Just joking!!

So, does Mr. Soames know I'm here? Who knows I'm here? Do they know why? What do they say? You're probably thinking I'm nuts and this whole ghost stuff is another sign of this. But if I'm a nut for being here, at least I know I'm not the only one in the packet!


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21/ 10/ 00

Dear Diary,

It's Saturday night and instead of watching some movies in the Rec Rooms with Peter, Zack, Sally and Maya, I'm typing this in Nelson's room.

For dinner in the Caf tonight we had a combination of Mexican and Japanese. So basically they served sushi and stuff and if you didn't want to eat raw fish, you had tacos instead. I ate with Zack and Maya and Sally, then I saved some food and I brought it back for Nelson. She said she wasn't hungry, but she still ate what I brought. It makes me think she only said she wasn't hungry so she wouldn't have to leave her room. I told her what I found out today about this school.

Today was ‘Brown Day’, not very original I know, but that’s what it’s called when we can leave the grounds on supervision and get driven into Brownsville. After I saw the movie "The Mummy Returns" with Zack, we then met up with Sally and Peter in the Diner. Peter didn't want to sit at the counter and eat, so we ended up getting a booth. But after we'd eaten, Sally and I went up to the counter to pretend that all we wanted to do was to order some more cokes. But on the sly Sally asked this girl, I think her name is Lee-Anne, who works there, some questions about Hamilton's.

This Lee-Anne, who looked like she was only a couple of years older than us, wasn't buying it. She gave us this weird look and then she said something like; "What's wrong? The private school your Daddies sent you to not working out for you?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, surprised.

"Look, go get your manicures somewhere else and stop wasting my time." She said coldly, then she walked off and picked up some dirty plates and took them into the kitchen.

"What was that all about?" I asked Sally.

Then this guy who I think is Lee-Anne's brother (because I think this place is family run), comes over to us, looking really angry.

"What did you say to my sister?"

"Nothing! All we did was ask some questions about Hamilton's!" I exclaimed.

"What about that place?" he seemed to get defensive too.

"How old is it?" Sally shrugged. "How long has it been a school for?"

He just looked at the two of us, then shook his head and walked off too.

Sally and I just looked at each other, wondering what this was all about.

"I thought you said you knew the owner." I said to her.

"Yeah, I think it's their Mum or something. I guess she's not working today." Sally shrugged defensively. "But the last time I was in here she was really nice and talked to me when I was feeling homesick."

"Hey, what's up?" Peter and Zack came over to us.

"They acted like we just insulted them or something." I said quietly. When I looked back over to the kitchen door I saw Lee-Anne standing there, watching us. "Lets just go." I got off the stool and started to leave.

When we went outside suddenly Lee-Anne was right behind us and she stopped us.

"Why do you want to know about Hamilton's?" she asked us, as if she had a change of heart.

"Because it's haunted." I blurted out. "I want to know about the history, that's all."

Sally rolled her eyes at my lack of subtlety and Peter burst out laughing at me!

"Haunted? What is this crap?"

Lee-Anne looked hesitantly at Peter, then looked back at me.

"What do you know?" Sally asked her.

"We've heard ghost stories, sure." she shrugged. "The school is old, older than this shit-hole of a town that's for sure." she kicked at the dirt. "There are rumors about what goes on there, why it's so exclusive and all."

"So exclusive?" I inquired.

"Yeah, why my brother and I and all the other kids here can't get in. Sure, you hire us for your cleaning, gardening and office work... but the kids aren't good enough to go there, are they? How much money do you pay to get taught there?" Lee-Anne asked us.

Now this really shocked me. "I'm there on scholarship." I told her.

"Same here." Zack admitted.

"Hey, my parents would pay anyone anything, to take me off their hands." Peter scoffed.

"I don’t know what my parents are paying..." Sally answered.

"So what's so special about you to get in there for free?" Lee-Anne asked me.

This stumped me, I hadn't a clue! "Good question." I shook my head. "Absolutely nothing. I thought the school was a funny farm and that's why I'm there."

"Lee-Anne!" came from inside, and we looked and saw it was her brother calling her back.

"I gotta go." she started back but I stopped her.

"Could you ask your Mum some questions for us? How old is this place? Have there been any deaths there?"

"And what do I get out of this?" she asked me back. I must have looked taken aback or something, because then she added, "all right, come again next weekend, I only work weekends."

Then she was gone, leaving us all looking at each other, wondering... We had no idea that Hamilton's was so exclusive. Exclusive, why? Keeping us out of the world for a reason? Or keeping the world from getting in?

"What is this? the 'Famous Five'? Fucking ‘Poirot’? Why do you want to ask about the hauntings?" Peter asked Sally and I.

"Because she saw the ghost, you dickweed!" Zack punched his arm.

"You?!" Peter looked at me and laughed. "What did it look like? Headless? A mascot for a boarding house, by any chance?"

I turned around and walked off with Sally and Zack, leaving Peter laughing behind us.

So tonight during 'fun night' I skipped the videos in the Rec Rooms and went straight up after dinner to Nelson's dorm room and told her. She's on the Internet on her computer researching ghosts and smoking as she does it. I thought not to be rude or anything, that while I type on you I may as well join her.

She did ask me heaps of questions about the movie with Zack though. Like, did we hold hands? I told her we didn't, but we did share a popcorn and coke, and our hands kept bumping when we were trying to get the popcorn out of the box at the same time. She seems surprised that he hasn't made a move on me yet. But secretly I'm glad. I'm not ready for anything yet. My life is too fucked up right now, and the scars are still pretty obvious.

Besides, this ghost business has really freaked me out and sometimes I wonder if the attempt worked or not. Where am I? Is this place somewhere between life and death? Maybe that's the secret why this place is so exclusive...? Only those who are not quite living may attend here. That explains me and Nelson in a nutshell.


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22/ 10/ 00

Dear Diary,

It's 1am. I'm supposed to be getting up in six hours for breakfast then class, but I don't care. I'm still so angry!

I was in the library after lunch. I had already done my homework so I was researching more ghost stuff. Nelson was helping me. I managed to convince her to leave her room and go to the Caf for lunch, then to the library with me afterwards.

Then Peter walks up, snatches the book off me, then laughs and yells out to everyone in the room that we're seeing dead people! And everyone in the room laughs with him... at us.

Nelson just loses it, I mean, really loses it. She lunged at Peter and punched him in the jaw! And she kept hitting him! Then Peter hit her back! He gave her a split lip and I think she's going to have a black eye tomorrow.

I tried to drag Peter off her, when he elbows me in the face and my nose starts to bleed!

Zack walks in the room, sees me bleeding and still trying to stop Peter, then he goes ape shit and he attacks Peter!

"You bastard! You hit her! You fucking bastard!" Zack yells and he goes for his best friend (or I thought they were bestfriends) and I was the cause.

"No!" I tried to stop Zack, but he pulled Peter off Nelson and threw him across three tables! Oh my god! I've never seen him like this! He just completely went off!

People scatter, there's yelling, and a couple of Seniors try to stop Zack from kicking the shit out of Peter when Professor Hamilton and Dr. Myles arrive!

Dr. Myles pulled Zack up and pinned him to one of the tables and yelled at him to calm down as Professor Hamilton helped up Peter, who then received a kick in the balls from Nelson!!

"That's enough!" Professor Hamilton yelled. Then he told a Senior to help Peter up again and take him over to the infirmary and to ask Nell to come to his office with a first aid kit. Then he took Nelson to his office.

I tried to stop them by trying to explain that it wasn't Nelson's fault, but Professor Hamilton completely disses what I say and tells me that right now it was his business to talk to Nelson.

They leave and Dr. Myles tells two of the Seniors to oversee the cleaning up of the library. Then he dragged out an enraged, kicking and screaming Zack, presumably to another office somewhere. I tried to follow behind them, but then Dr. Myles yelled at me to stay behind!

I felt like this was my fault and I'm not the one being dragged off. And when I tried to tell them, they completely ignored me! This is so fucking typical! All these teachers here... they try to come across as your friend and different from other adults, but in actuality they're exactly the same! They don't listen and they don't care.

Maya came over and offered me a hanky to put on my nose, but I pushed her hand away and left too.

Everyone was staring at me, probably thinking it was all my fault too. I had to get away, but I didn't know where to go. I couldn't go back to my dorm room, not if Pat is there. With his open door policy I still find it hard sometimes to close my door on him which shows something is wrong.

So I just kept walking.

I walked past Beta building and past some of the trees and I found this incline that led down to the back fence and then the lake after that.

I sat down on a log and stared at the lake and the surrounding woods and mountains. I could just make out the town of Brownsville across the lake, which I think is like, 10 km’s wide? I had my bag with me, and my ciggies in that. So I lit up and took some long drags. I didn't care if a teacher came and found me like that. I think I would have dared them to expel me with the mood I was in.

The sun soon set and I looked at my watch. It was too cold to sit outside and it was close to dinner time. I thought everyone should be in the Caf by now. So I walked back up the hill to Beta building.

When I was unlocking my door, I found Pat was still in his room though, in front of his computer as usual.

"I heard what happened." he managed in before I could quickly close my door behind me.

"So?"

"Drop this ghost business Elisha. It's not good for anyone." he said flatly, not looking at me, but still at the computer screen.


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23/ 10/ 00

Dear Diary,

It seems I wasn't immune from yesterdays incident. I was called in early to see Nell after class today instead of just my usual Friday afternoon sessions. She started by asking me my version of events and what I thought happened.

All I could do was shrug and say I didn't know what set everyone else off. I said that Peter started it, but I don't know why he had to act like such a dickhead about it all. I told her I think Nelson is sensitive about what people think about her, which probably triggered her. Then I said I had no idea why Zack got all over protective of me.

She said Zack likes me, and I scoffed (more like a half laugh, half scoff) and I said I knew that. Then she told me that something in Zacks past (she wouldn't say what) made me some kind of symbol to him, like the way he's trying to protect himself from whatever bad happened to him was making him protect me. I didn't get it. So she explained that he feels he is trying to protect me the way he wishes someone could have or should have protected him in the past. Oh. But Nell wouldn't tell me what happened to Zack, which now I'm dying to know, to see if I can help him somehow.

She said all we can do is offer our friendship and support until he feels ready to discuss it, and to do the same with Nelson. I told her I thought I was already doing that, and she agreed. She urged me to keep trying, because before my arrival Nelson was a lot more introverted.

Then Nell asked me if I knew why Nelson and Pat aren't talking anymore. I told her I didn't know, but Nell saw right through it. She asked me if it had anything to do with the night we saw the ghost. I tried to hide my surprise, and she said she knew about it for a while, as Pat mentioned it. I forgot he still has meetings with Nell... so I asked her why has he been acting like a wanker about it all? Then she started telling me how everyone handles a shock or a surprise in different ways and some other psycho babble and how some people like myself, want to talk about it, and other people, like Patrick, don’t want to.

I thought I'd use this chance to ask her some questions. I asked her first if she believed us, which she said yes. Then I asked her if she knew who the ghost was? She said she had a fair idea from stories and rumors, before she changed the subject to psychoanalyze me and my interest in the supernatural. She asked me if it was related to my depression and stuff. We ended up discussing this for the rest of the session. I think she thinks it's related to the time I tried to die, as if it's a morbid obsession to see what would have happened if it had worked.

I don't know about that. Ever since I was a little girl I've been interested in that kind of thing. I remember before I was 10 years old and "Poltergeist" was on TV. My parents sent me to bed, but I hid in the hallway where I could still see the TV so I could watch it. It scared me shitless, and I couldn't sleep afterwards, but I remember the thrill it gave me.

Those were good times then. Mum was well, Dad was happier, and we had lots of bar-be-cues and entertaining of family and friends. I remember when we had dinner parties, the adults would be in the lounge room talking all night, and the kids would get together in either Mark's or my bedroom (usually mine, because his room was always messy) and we would play 'Murder in the Dark' over and over.

I reminisced about all of this, as Nell just sat back and nodded and listened. Then just before I left at the end of the session, she said something to me, something I'm still thinking about. "Did you know when you talk about your father in your earlier memories, you talk about him differently."

"Differently?" I wondered what she meant.

"It's not angry or resentful." She smiled at me. "Maybe in our next meeting we could talk about when things changed."

"I can tell you the exact date when things changed... 20th April 1997. When Mum was diagnosed with the cancer." I said flatly, and I opened her office door and left.


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TO: [e-mail]
FROM: [e-mail]
SUBJECT: School life...
DATE: 23/ 10/ 00

Hey,

So the whole school knows, huh? Great, I'm considered freakish across two continents now! So it was rumors going around? Who started the rumor? Who else but you knows what happened to me? I guess somebody could have heard some of the teachers talking about it, hey? Remember when we found out what happened to Douglas Talbot when you and I had to report to the teachers staff room to start our detention? Now I'm the new gossip. Great.

I feel like I'm the subject of gossip here too. Two days ago there was a huge fight with three of the guys I've mentioned to you before, Peter, Nelson and Zack. No, we all weren't fighting together, but each other. Well, three of us against Peter, but he started it! He said something stupid, Nelson retaliated, he hit her, I tried to pull him off her, he hits me (now I'm not sure if it wasn't accidental) and Zack goes ape shit and beats the crap out of him for hitting me (which could have been accidentally).

Peter is walking around with half his face bruised and he's limping a bit and I think his ribs are sore. Nelson has a cracked lip and a black eye. Zack and I are the only ones relatively scott free. I did have a bleeding nose when it happened, but that's long gone.

There also seems to be a strange division of who is sitting with who now in class and in the Caf for meals. Nelson, Zack and I are sitting on one side of the table in class, with Peter, Pat, Maya and Sally on the other side. At lunch Sally came and sat with us though and told us that she wasn't taking sides. She wasn't in the library when it happened, but she told me what Maya told her, who saw it happen. But by the way Maya explained it, it's as if Nelson is about to be posted next on the FBI's Most Wanted list! Considered unarmed but extremely dangerous... I'm starting to really not like Maya now.

Nelson is acting like she doesn't care, but I know she does. She got up and left the Caf at recess after exchanging death glares at Peter and Pat, and then she didn’t show up at our next two classes. I think she's gone back to hiding out in her dorm room again.

Zack has been following me everywhere I go, even offering to carry my books for me to one of our classes together! He's still acting so overprotective of me, I'm starting to get the feeling like I'm going to suffocate soon! He's sweet, he's good looking... but there is something missing from him. When he and Peter were mucking around together they were a funny team and he looked like he could lighten up now and then. Now that he bashed up his bestfriend, he's all over me, listening to my every word, going where ever I go. If I asked him to rob a bank I think he might!

After my session with Nell this afternoon, I found he was even waiting for me outside of Delta Building! He asked me if I wanted to go to the library to do our homework together. But I didn't want to make an appearance in there again, not with the guy who nearly trashed it over me. So I said I wanted to go back to my Dorm room, and he followed me there as well.

I sat at my desk and pretended to be really interested in my computer studies assignment on my laptop, as Zack sat on my bed, doing BOTH of our math’s homework! Well, he didn't write down the answers because Dr. Knight knows our handwriting, but he was telling me the answers so I could put them down.

Nell told me that Zack is bonding to me because of a past childhood trauma or something. I can understand that, but this level of bondage is driving me insane, and I don't know how to tell him this. So I turned around and tried to talk about Peter with him. I told him Peter may have accidentally hit me in the nose with his elbow when he was fighting Nelson. Zack just shut off and said he didn't want to talk about it anymore.

Bugger.

Then the bell went off for dinner in the Caf and I knocked on Nelson's door to see if she was coming. There was no response, so I knocked again. I knew she was in there because I could smell cigarette smoke.

Suddenly from inside, we heard a massive "FUCK OFF!!"

…OK... Zack and I looked at each other and then left her alone to her sulking.

Don't you just wish you were here instead of me? At least when I went to school with you it was only a day thing and we could go home afterwards... away from the school! Not here it's like 24 / 7.


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