A rare experience in the upbringing of my children |
Written for Octobersun’s Annual Contest on Parenting. Tender delights Some memories just sit on the mind, fresh and fragrant even years later, providing delightful fodder for thought and talk. Looking at the colorful photos of my sons, on a fine Sunday, I was awash with the cherished memories of their model behavior all those years ago. I still remember the time when my two sons, aged five and three, and I joined the first of our two ships on which my husband was working as a Chief Engineer. We boarded at Bombay in India, the merchant navy ship M.V. Vishwa Prayas, which was carrying general cargo to the US. We made two voyages and each was of nine months' duration. We called at three ports on the West Coast and three on the East Coast of America, and a few more in the Far East. We were one of the three families on board. To the First-mate, who was newly married, the voyage served as a long honeymoon. The Second Engineer and his wife joined the voyage, leaving their two-year old son at home. Both my sons provided great solace and joy to the husband and wife who missed their child unbearably. I was a little apprehensive at the thought of my sons, spending such a long time with no other children for company. Yet, the fact that opportunities like this wouldn’t repeat, persuaded me to climb the long rope ladder. I can tell you I never regretted the decision. Life on the ship, and the visit to the US, Japan and Hong Kong remained a beautiful memory for all of us. The first few days went by in a flurry. Getting acquainted with the constantly vibrating ship, the officers and crew and the three decks, settling in and settling down in our set of tiny cabins, learning the ropes so to say, took the first week or two. All these things were great curiosities to both my sons, Santosh and Naresh. I observed that the officers were unsmiling in the beginning. Away from their own loved ones, unable to see land for long stretches, could be dampening influence for many. The good thing was, the moment we walked into the dining cabin, with the children in their own natural and spontaneous element, there were smiles and greetings around. Coming from a joint family, both the children knew the company of older people, and behaved pretty much politely. In retrospect, however, I see, there were three things that the kids missed. The first and foremost, they missed their peers. For any child, playing with friends of their own age, would give the greatest joy. This lack not withstanding, both Santosh and Naresh, spent their time quite well with the shipmates. Walking the length of the ship, especially when the sea was calm, and the weather pleasant, was a rare experience, which very few would be destined to have. The walks on the deck with parents and officers are still remembered by both of them. They recall having seen families of whales, and plenty of flying fish during the voyage. They talk about the ship’s crew catching fish from the sea when the vessel was anchored. The wonder and excitement of those rare spectacles remained with them. Secondly, they missed school. At such a young age, school is the shape and color of existence for kids. This shortcoming, I tried to overcome by becoming their teacher on board. I collected their school syllabus for the following year, from their respective teachers. They spent two hours a day, doing number work and language exercises with me supervising and teaching. That way, I was lucky to have spent quality time with my children. Thirdly, their movement was restricted especially during stormy weather. The rolling and pitching was very painful, yet they coped admirably well. They could neither get into the garden, nor a playfield where they could play out-door games or just run about as they wished. Fortunately however, the ship had provided several games to amuse themselves with. While Santosh was playing table tennis and caroms, his younger brother got into checkers, and snakes and ladders. This change in their life style gave them a chance to develop an ear for, and learn music of various regions. They could mingle and greet the visitors from various countries with smiles and cheer. In turn, their cheerful disposition was much appreciated. The kids were the life of ship’s parties and get-togethers. They were invariably asked to entertain the small group of officers with songs and stories. The Third Engineer, who was good at singing and I, not a bad singer myself, trained them with songs from the film “The Sound of Music” and quite a few Christmas Carols like “Mary’s Boy Child”. They also had a repertoire of songs from our native language, Telugu, one of the four languages spoken in Southern India. The audience were often inspired by the little ones, and participated in the cultural programs with great enthusiasm. One of the best things that happened was, that the children were able to develop their English vocabulary, and fine-tune their grammar. Mixing and speaking with various people both on board and ashore while the ship was in port, helped them shed shyness and reserve, and speak freely. Unawares, it contributed in broadening their world view. Once we reached the ports, the tedium of ship’s life disappeared. They could play in the public parks of Seattle, go to the thrilling rides and shows of the Disney Land in LA, visit the famous Sandiego Zoo and the Marine land, and enjoy the huge sundaes and the delicious ice cream. The results of the above voyages were spectacular. On reaching home, they qualified with flying colors in the entrance tests for grades three and one respectively. Their teachers were pleasantly surprised at their high marks in math and language work as well as general knowledge. I feel both the children were exemplary, considering their tender years during the long voyage. As parents, it gives us great pleasure when we think of those memorable days on board the ship. Those experiences also make us feel happy at their up bringing. Word Count: 1030 Winner of a Parenting Merit Badge in the above contest. |