My comedy book

Wait, wait. You’re a vampyre? Are you a Cullen? Am I Bella? Will you protect me, you know against the trackers and evil ones?

I shot her an aggravated look ‘ I may just eat you’.
She looked shocked … then she smiled. ‘ Its because im irresistible, like Bella. Right, right’.

Oh god, I think I will actually eat her. ‘ Has anyone told you how annoying you are’?

She hit my arm ‘ your such a joker, and your must be look your attractive’. Now I was seconds away from clamping down and eating through her thick skull. ‘Look lady, I am not a Cullen’.
I was cut off ‘ so your admitting you ARE a vampyre’.
I stared vacantly at her ‘ that’s it your getting eaten’.

‘Wait, you can’t eat me’.
I stopped ‘ give me 1 good reason’.
She smiled ‘ because im your Bella and’, she walked towards me, slipping and falling off the railings, landing upside-down into a trashcan’.
I clapped my hand to my forehead…’why, im a guardian angel, not a miracle worker’.
I sighed.

She groaned ‘ I think I ate something disgusting’,
I lifted her out by her foot and looked her in the eyes. She smiled at me and I smiled and threw her onto my shoulder.
‘h-hey, were are you taking me you idiot’!
I sighed again ‘ I am a lot smarter than you so lets not debate shall we’.
‘How do you figure that’,
I smirked ‘ well I didn’t just fall face first into a trashcan did I’?
‘Hey’! She pulled a grumpy looked face.
I didn’t grin as such I just look into her eyes.
‘Fine but all I have to do is scream and’. I took off my hat and scrunched it into a ball she carried on. ‘
Yup shout that’s all I have too do just few words and then I shall have a handsome man run to my rescue and we will marry an-‘, I shoved the scrunched hat into her mouth and tied it with a ribbon… ‘There’ I smiled. That’s a lot better.

I strolled along quite happily for about half an hour ‘Ok, I will remove the hat. Promise not to talk too much. And how do you feel about walking yourself. I pulled the hat from her mouth. ‘ Why you son of a –‘! A group of police officers walked past so I quickly pressed my lips against hers she seemed angry for a minute then kissed back. I waited for the officers too pass before I stopped the kiss. I didn’t have to do much she was rather eager. As I pulled away she looked at me smirking. ‘ What’s so funny’? ‘ I knew you found me irresistible’. I stared blankly forward. ‘Did we not just have this conversation’? ‘Yes but I can read you like a book’. Oh you can, can you…go for it. Read me’.