Woman? Wife? Doctor?

I am simply writing about life.

I know many of you reading this will probably think it is such an ordinary, much written about topic. But in my point of view, life is a huge topic, and there will never be enough people to write or talk about it.

What drove me to write this piece is the leap in events that happened recently, and changed my life alot. At one point I was a final year medical student, studying to be a doctor, and single. In a blurr, i found myself graduated and married, working as a doctor with my husband by my side. When i say blurr, I do not mean that things happened against my will, or that I am unhappy with this change. On the contrary, all that happened was a result of my own choices, and i feel extremely blessed. Never the less, i still feel like I am in a dream from which i am about to wake up any minute.

My husband's proposal was surprising, and enchanting. I felt like one of the princesses I had loved to read about when I was young. Still I never fully understood how lucky I was to have him until we were married, and lived under one roof. Allah had granted me everything I had prayed for in this man.

Of course, every beautiful thing in life carries a heavy price with it; and with this valuable marriage came a large price-tag. My husband is also a doctor. At present we are working together, in the same hospital, with the same unit. This means so far we have been together in rounds and on-calls, not seperating except in rare occasions. But this will inevitably change after we each choose a different specialty. Which brings us to the first obstacle I have stumbled across recently. Which specialty should I choose? I have always loved Anaesthsia, and dreamed many times of becoming an anaesthetist. But now, I am not just a woman doctor, I am someone's wife. And that someone chose me to be his wife because he believed I was able to support him in becoming the great man he plans to become.

Liberal women will probably freak right now, and argue that i should pick the field I love most, and live my dream regardless of what my husband wishes or needs. Well, this may be a rational argument in the world we are living in now where men and women are viewed as equals.

But I firmly believe that men and women have the ability to drive themselves to self-destruction if not guided by a stronger power. A power not explained except by the term God. It makes alot of sense to me, especially with so much proof, most important of which are the holy books.

I am muslim. So I turn to the Qura'an whenever I am in dilemma. Islam views women as beautiful and fragile creatures in need of special care and attention. It orders them to hide their beauty from strange men so as not to provoke any lust that most often leads to a woman being led into a meaningless relationship, or worse: rape. Islam also orders men to be patient and tolerant with a woman's sensitivity and emotional lability. Women are advised to choose their home's comfort and stability over their own ambitions. To balance this relationship, Islam places the man in full responsibility for his family and household expenses.

So, it all adds up. I can always choose a stress-free environment to work in, a subspecialty that will leave me with enough energy to raise my children, and provide them and my husband with the time, care and love they need from me. In the meantime, my husband can persue his dreams to become an exceptional surgeon, and be able to provide for us in return.

It may sound traditional and boring to most of you readers, especially women. But if you study the society well, you will find that most products of such families are emotionally healthy and successful people. On the other hand, products of broken homes, and children whose mothers are too busy persuing a time and energy-consuming career, will not be as confident and emotionally stable as others.

NB. I am sure there are exceptions to this rule, but this is just my personal opinion which I am happy to share in this writing excercise with such a talented audience.

Thank you