Laugh aloud

These days
I laugh a lot, and
Also wonder
Whether you doubt
If I mean it;
I have qualms about it
Myself you know

My laugh is so loud;
Sometimes I forget
That a laugh is different
From a shout;
Different in the motive
That is;
Or is it?

A laugh
Makes you forget
That you’re scared,
Or bored,
Or searching
For something
Better

These days
I don’t even realize
That I’m laughing
When I’m laughing;
What I would really like
Is to find something
That makes me
Cry instead