The "Me"

This is me, myself writing after so many years..And i don't know how to start and what to write but give me a minute....let me take a long breath n let me start.

I have reached my third year of college and i have come to know that i hardly know who i am and what i want in life.The spring in my heart which i had before is nowhere to be found.I am really lost.I feel like i don't fit in this world.It feels like the world is way to cruel despite some good people in it.When i come to think of it , there might be millions of people in the world who are like me, who don't know how to adjust with life, who feels he/she is worthless, a burden and who feels empty even if they stand in a crowd.When I was in high school, i wrote a lot of articles on "Visions of life", "Memories" and "Teenage life" where in the end i would say life is beautiful and even though there is sadness we have to learn to live and let live...but it turns out even though its easy to put down on words, its really hard to put it in action because i have never been able to do as i preached, maybe i will never will.

Sometimes it's hard when you can't seem to adjust everywhere you go, it's hard to go out in the crowd and stand there trying to get along when you can't seem to understand and you go on thinking"What the hell are they talking about?"And i will tell you my experience at college.There i learnt about the real world until then i never knew waht the real world was like when i was at home.There i learnt that people are full of pretence,harsh, they do have a smiling face but inside its the opposite..Good people are rare.

I still don't understand myself, I'm scared of my low self esteem, the way i can't deal with people.The way i am too emotional, the way i want to run away to a land of nowhere, the way i wished to die..I want to quit on life because i don't fit in it.
This is me, myself, going insane and pouring my heart out..i don't know what to do with myself....