Penny's from Heaven?

Penny's From Heaven
I must say to begin with, how difficult this will be for me. I have not written about my Mothers death; however I have talked about it. The written word seems to make things more real for me. This past June was the fourth anniversary of her passing. It did not take her long to be lost from this world after the diagnosis, (Cancer) a mere eight months. I cannot tell you how quickly the months pass while you a concentrating on a cure. In almost the blink of an eye, you realize the battle was lost. The thing i remember the most, would be the disconnected feeling; like being in a balloon, floating above it all. Sound becomes muffled, images fly past you, seemingly off in the distance, nothing, and I do mean nothing seems real anymore. Hope becomes horror during the battle; You hear the words "The tumor is shrinking" and hope becomes your hero.

In my Mothers case the hope was short lived. As Mother made her final plans; she did so with the excitement of a child. The picking out her casket, a white one with peach lining, just like the one three of her sisters had already claimed. Her dress was to be the ivory and lace number I had abandoned a few years earlier when I decided not to marry. I left England never to return. I had lived there for more than a year when I returned home to plan the wedding, and await the grooms arrival to the states. Mother and I searched long and hard for the perfect dress, not knowing we were searching for her final resting gown. Fortunately I had chosen a non-traditional piece, for she looked glorious in the dress fit for an angel; The lace on the sleeves covering the evidence of the hard work she had endured for many a year, and in her hands rest a lovely urn containing the remains of her beloved doggy, Little Man.

To this day I am so greatful I made the decision not to return over-seas, I would have missed her final and very few last years, Mother made it her goal to make sure my sister, brother and I had the keepsakes she wished us to have. Every little detail she planned out. I listened and hung on to every word she said, not knowing if it would be her last. I believe some of her last words, I will never forget, will be something she said after entering the hospice hospital. The nurse and I were bathing her, bed-ridden at this point, and completely unaware of what was going on; as we were turning her over she yelled out, I don't want them damned penny's" The nurse and I burst out into a fit of laughter, it was quite a spell before we could talk without laughing. The nurse was dying to know what she could possibly been thinking of. I knew Mother very well, and I was able to clear that up for her. I spent the night there in the hospital many a night, and I believe that was the next to the last time i ever heard her voice. I know the last time I did however; It was the last night i spent there with her. During a lucid moment, she woke and called out my name, I suppose just to make sure I was still there with her, I was.

Mother worked for a family owned business, in which I took over her job for a while. As for the penny's, we did not necessarily have to have them in the cash drawer at work. We would just round it off to the nearest nickle. I was getting dressed to go to the hospital and then return to work, when the call came that she had left her body and our lives... I am left with the knowledge that one can only gain from loosing their Mother. Life is so very precious and every moment should count. After Mother passed the strangest thing would happen at work. I would count my money in the cash drawer at the beginning of my shift and put the drawer in it's place. After a bit when I would open it, all the change in the compartments would be all mixed together. The Boss did not believe me until it happened to him.

Just the other day, I opened the front door of my home to go out with my dogs, when the strangest thing occured. Penny's came down from above me and scattered on the floor. I could not find a single place where the penny's could of come from. I will always believe Mother had something to do with that.