Moving On

Moving On


When we pulled up into the car park I was surprised. I hadn't remembered the car journey, despite the fact that it was a good hour's drive. I did remember leaving the house, seeing Cayte's face as I got into Tom's car. She had known where I was going, I could tell. Thankfully, I knew she wouldn't tell Dad, although she didn't approve. But if it was her, she would've done the same thing. I think.
'Ki, are you okay to do this?'
'Yes,' I lied. There was no way I was okay. I was scared, terrified.
Inside, everything was blank. The walls were all painted cream, the desk counter brown and the chairs black. Nothing was hung on the walls, no paintings, certificates or book shelves. No music played either. 'Kiss, why don't you sit before you fall over. I'll talk to the Receptionist.' I sat but still felt faint. My hands gripped the side of the chair with such force that my knuckles turned white.
'Hi there, we're here to see Carlos Peterson, I was here earlier, made an appointment for three.' the receptionist tapped at her keyboard.
'Okay, Thomas Beck, is it? And your friend's name?'
'Um Ki,' Tom turned to me. 'Kiss, I don't actually know our name, sorry.'
'What? oh um, Alexis.' He nodded and returned to the receptionist.
'Alexis Young.'
'Okay, please have a seat, someone will be here shortly.'
Tom walked over to me with a smile. 'Tom, I don't know if I can do this,' I whispered, half to myself.
'We can leave, this must be hard for you,' Tom put an arm round me and squeezed my shoulder.
'No, It's okay. I need to do this.'
'Sure?' I was about to reply but another voice cut me off.
'Okay, if you would like to follow me,' a middle-aged women carrying a clipboard waited for us to stand before heading down a corridor to the left of the desk.
'Ready?' Tom slipped his hand into mine and I shook my head. We followed the women down the corridor to the door at the end.
And that's when I saw him. His eyes met with mine. My body became numb, he smiled at me and I began to shake. The smile was all wrong, not warm, not welcoming, not his. Tears started streaming down my face, being absorbed by my jumper. Carl continued to stare at me, barely blinking. I couldn't breath. I felt as if y lungs were shrinking. I started gasping for air, my breath quickened and my head span.
'Ki, Kiss are you okay?' Tom grabbed both my shoulders but I didn't look at him. I could not take my eyes off Carl. 'Come on, let's go.' Tom span me around and led me out of the room. As he did so, Carl started to shout. "Kiss! Kiss, don't leave, come back. Kiss, I love you. Kiss? Kiss. KISS!'
Outside, rain had begun to fall, but I didn't mind. It felt refreshing. "Kiss, I'm sorry. This was a bad idea. Sorry,' Tom pulled me towards him and hugged me whilst I cried uncontrollably into his shoulder. 'I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry,' He stroked my hair and kissed the top of my head. I brought my head up to face him. Without thinking about it, I leant in and kissed him. I had expected him to pull away, but he kissed me back. And the tears started calming, and eventually they stopped altogether. And for the first time, I felt as if I was moving on.