Acting Agency sketch

INT. ACTING AGENCY OFFICE

AGENT:
Ah, Mr Dixon, It is my understanding that you wish to be listed with our agency as an actor. I see that you have appeared in Murder She Wrote, Diagnosis Murder, NCIS and Saving Private Ryan amoung other things, which all sounds very impressive. So, what kind of parts did you play?

MR D:
Corpses. (PAUSE) I specialise in dead people.

AGENT:
I see. Any speaking parts at all?

MR D:
Nope. Just dead people. (PAUSE) Check this out.

MR D LAYS ON THE FLOOR

MR D :
Fallen from roof of a 6 storey building.

HE ADJUSTS HIS POSE SLIGHTLY

MR D:
Shot in the chest at close range.

HE ADJUSTS AGAIN

MR D:
Hit by a truck following parachute failure.

AGENT:
Well, I appreciate your speciality, Mr Dixon, but have you considered being a bit more versatile?

MR D:
I tried branching out into 'people sleeping' but there wasn't much call for it. I'm also a great singer but nobody wants a singing corpse either.

AGENT:
So when did you realise you had this 'dead man' talent?

MR D:
Well, I first started doing my act back when I was working as a bus driver. Used to fool the passengers all the time.

AGENT:
I'll get my business partner in to see this. I need a 2nd opinion.

AGENT LEAVES.

LEANING BACK ON HIS CHAIR, MR D FALLS, BANGS HIS HEAD AND IS MOTIONLESS.

AGENT RETURNS WITH PARTNER

PARTNER:
Awesome, you can't even see the breathing. Sign him!



THE END