Odes from and to JP

Spanna:
Mr Pauls,
You must be shocked and distressed by your unfortunate accident... Please take a seat and let us see if I can't rectify the situation for you... Did your mother not advise you never to play, willy nilly, with loaded Shooters without taking the necessary precautions? Something like this was bound to happen sooner or later.

I will treat the injury with great care and attention... now don't fuss.. that's it, sit quietly, my hands are warm.. I am prescribing some TLC and some OMG and a little bit of LOL. Take some bed rest and I'm sure you will be fine by the morning.

Here is some free advice: Never let cowgirls fiddle in your chaps, keep away from shimmying Petticoats and above all else DO NOT turn your back on that incorrigible Essex Girl... she's quick, faster than you can say Ooo err missus :)
xxx

JP:
Why thank you mamm for your kindness and especially the warm hands.
My ma was a racoon and my pa a rattlesnake, they sure didnt show me much, certainly didnt teach me about no darn safety catches an all...
I'll be sure to not turn my back on you, but then you wouldnt shoot a man in the back, would ya mamm?
I have now slipped into a pair of new chaps they are pretty tight but I'm sure they will stretch nicely.

/tips stetson
/screws up eyes
Yeeha!!
/rides off into sunset
xxx

Spanna:
Once was bloke called JP,
who did something strange to me,
made me petticoats flutter,
and my words all a-stutter,
but rode off in the sunset with glee..

I stood on the hillock a- crying,
while JP with his stetson went flying,
gripping his thighs
round that little mares sides,
poor Annie she just kept on trying...

"Come back.. I don't think we're done,
You've still not let me play with your gun,"
but he would not heed,
while on his great steed,
and galloped into the Sun!

boom boom !

JP:
On my steed I rode through the day
Driving cattle all of the way
When I stopped for a drink
Only of Annie I’d think
If I rode back what would she say?

Would she call me a varmint for leaving?
With eyes moist and her breasts all a’ heaving
She may grab for my gun
Now I’m up for some fun
But when she’s finished I hope that I’m breathing.

So Annie I’m all homeward bound
I’ve turned the cattle around
Like you say we aint done
You need to play with my gun
And its loaded with a live round


Spanna;
oh you clever boy... yes you are...yes you are ... I am sooo impressed from Essex... knew you wouldn't let me down...

I wanna snog your face off and call you Sir!!!!!!! haha!! Brilliant......

JP:
Hi impressed from Essex
I know... I know...
me too...
of course not...
yes, yes, YES!
l am soo smitten from Surrey..

Spanna:
Annie went and uplifted her skirt,
cos she was a terrible flirt,
she'd ply john with Whiskey,
'til he was quite frisky,
and then they could roll in the dirt,

He told her he was from Surrey,
But could not leave in a hurry,
they'd have to just write,
into the night,
and for the rest they so would not worry,

No matter, Annie was happy
she'd met such a savvy chappy,
his big brain gave her bumps,
and goosies and lumps,
and his body made her all sappy!!!!!

"Come hither" she wanted to say,
but 'twas not the place or the day,
she might scare him too much,
if she wanted to touch,
And then he might now run away!

She thought she would just play it cool,
even though she'd started to drool,
then they could stay mates,
without any dates,
And she would not look like a fool...

But she could go on forever,
cos JP was so damn clever,
he really was witty,
with his little ditty,
and she wanted he left her - never!

JP:
Oh Annie you are such a tease
With your skirt pulled up to your knees
And your lips all aflame
Your fiery red mane
I’d love you to love me oh please

Let love time nor distance impede
For now we will just have to read
But I’m happy to roam
Or even talk on the phone
For your words Annie I hunger and need

Did I dream that you beckoned me hither?
Did we swim upstream of life’s river?
Our hearts to entwine
Your lips to meet mine
Or did fear make our love wither?

So what’s the chance I can be in your movie?
God you’re so sexy, so smart and so groovy
Just a small little part
Perhaps close to your heart
Just a whisper from you always soothes me.

Spanna:
You can have a part in me flick,
but you really have to be quick,
not many places,
for too many faces,
so I'm able to take my pick

Would you want to be Mary or Joan?
or the psycho at the end of the fone?
or maybe the dyke?
or the boy on the trike?
Or the dog with the very large Bone?

I do need a girl called Mandy,
so a sex change will come in quite handy,
I'll give you you the lippy
and you can look dippy,
but riding the horse has might you quite bandy!

Or what about being the main man?
I would be your number fan,
you're right for the part,
cos you're not an old fart,
You're more Lotus Elan than White Van!

I know you'd like to- you said,
But giving you a part is not good for my head,
It's not the right deal,
with you on a reel,
I'd rather you have you in bed!

Shock, horror- she said it out loud,
Ms Dawson you should be more proud,
well bollocks n fecks,
I'm from Essex,
I shine under the sun, not a cloud

But don't be shocked, I'm really quite shy,
I'm quiet, it's really no lie,
I wouldn't molest you,
or even unvest you,
I wouldn't even presume to try!

You seem worth much much more,
I beg you, i really implore,
for us to keep going,
the talking still flowing,
For you i really adore...