Sadie's Big Date

         
Sadie was exceptionally nervous the night of her big date. She was meeting this guy for the first time, her only contact with him had been on the internet, through an on-line dating service. There were so many things that could go wrong and she knew almost nothing about the guy. What did he look like? What did he do for a living? What kind of car did he drive? She was starting to have second thoughts. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. There were lots of weirdo’s out there. What if this guy wanted to abduct her and make her his sex slave or something.

The door bell rang. It was too late. He was here. Courageously she threw open the door to her apartment to greet her blind date.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” at the top of her lungs. A primordial scream that would drown out the echoes of the big bang for years to come.

Standing there, in a neat pinstripe suit, red carnation in the label, and a bouquet of flowers in hand, stood Frankenstein, the monster. Frankenstein was her date for the evening.

“Hi I’m Frank Stein, you can call me Frankie,” he said as he handed her the flowers.

Her last thought before fainting was, “I got to get out of L.A., too many weirdo’s in California.”

When she awoke, she found herself in the front seat of his car, a black BMW, heading out of L.A. on US Route 1 up the coast.

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,” she began where she had left off, only this time it was a much higher pitched scream, a sound very familiar to Frankenstein.

“You remind me of my first wife, you hit that same note when you scream. Although I must say your hair is much better looking.”

“Y-Y-Y-Your a Monster!”
Actually I prefer ‘recycled human.’ It sounds more hip, don’t you think.”

“My God, a monster with a social conscience. Where are you taking me, your dungeon? Some hellish whole in the ground”.

“Actually nothing like that, I know a quiet little bistro up the coast. Very chic. It’s a happening place.”

“Sure, quiet and hidden. No one will be able to witness the horrors you do to me.” Pounding on the seat in frustration she continued, “You’ll probably kill me and chop up my body into little pieces. Is this real leather, nice car.” She had just noticed the fine leather seats.

Thanks, I have two more just like it, only different colors, one white and one red.”

"You have 3 BMWs?  What village did you pillage to get them, Beverly Hills?”

“Oh I’m not into pillaging anymore. I’m in the entertainment industry. Frankenstein Inc. President and chairman of the board, yours truly.”

“Well your probably a nice guy and all. Your not exactly the worst date I’ve ever been out with. Your certainly better than that hockey player I dated. I mean, at least you have your front teeth, well you have somebody’s front teeth. And you certainly look successful. You dress nice, drive a nice car. You sound educated. But I just can’t seem to get over that fact that your made from sewed-up body parts dug up from the graves of dead people. I got to be honest with you Frankie, I find the green skin a real turn off - and don’t mention that abnormal brain of yours I’ve heard about!”

Frank wasn’t discouraged. He’d heard it all before and even worst.  He’d just have to lay on the charm a little harder.

Later that night, she received the inevitable call from Mother.

So how was your date with Frank Stein. Stein that sounds Jewish? Is he Jewish?” she asked hopefully.

“He’s part Jewish,” Saide replied.

“Oh, what part? His Mother or Father?”

"I think he said his legs.”