let go

There was once a child whos father abbandoned him at the age of six or younger. He beat himself up over it constantly however to everyone around him he was a typical child carefree and easy going, a few years down the road he starts to loose sight of who he is the hatred he allowed to fester for his old man grows and grows. He tries his best to hide his pain from the people he loves as he doesn't want them to be brought down by his thoughts. The young man starts wearing long sleeve shirts to school to hide the scars that he has on his arm from letting out his anger and torment. Eventually he just stops caring, or cared too much that he tried ending his life as in his mind he was a burden to everyone around him. Unfortunately for him he wouldn't get to take the easy way out. His so called friends all leave him and he is left to fend for himself at the age of 18. He than started to seperate himself from the anger creating almost a seperate being of sorts, he starts hallucinating sometimes seeing the hatred as a seperate entity and having conversations with it. Finally he decides to go and confront his dad. He goes and tries to accomplish his goal of killing his father for the years of self torment and agony. His father however overpowers the now young man full of hatred so the young man goes at himself instead. He wakes up in the hospital with a blood pack attached to one arm. He couldnt even fucking kill himself he viewed that as two other failures. He is than institutionalized for what seems a eternity having no one but the part he seperated himself from to keep him company he starts to feed the disease making himself worse and worse. When he is finally released there was no progress made and he lives life as he always did hiding his problems by taking on everyone elses. Now he is all grown up and still has no real direction, and the thought of death assaults his mind everyday and the voice still lingers but he knows death is not the answer. The young man waits for the day he can confront his dad again as he feels that killing him is the only way to be free of the darkness within as the theory is destroy the problem at the root and it will go away. This may not be the happy ending everyone wanted for him he may never know true happiness but he is able to live with himself which is more than he could do before.