Forgotten

Chapter Two:  Gone

         He blinked a few more times as if to see that I was really there. I probably should have turned and walked away already, but I couldn’t make my body move. My mind was in control. The broken part. The rational part told me I should have hauled butt away from this room. But I stayed. Then, his little arms reached forward towards me while a little voice spoke, “Mamma” When I didn’t move, the little boy decided to take matters into his own tiny hands. He slid out of bed calling my name again.
         My heart was racing. My arms reaching towards him just as he did for me. I was not in control of these movements. There was an intake of breath from behind me just as the little boy reached me. I bent down and swooped him up. Panic shot up my spine. What was I doing? Just as I turned, Danny reached out and attempted to take the boy from my arms. I was having a battle in my mind now. Half wanted to gladly hand the boy that had thought I was its mother to Danny. The other half was holding on tight, refusing to hand him over.
         Danny settled the dispute for me and grabbed him. The boy clung to me and lost his fight, letting Danny take him into his arms. As I finally was able to look into Danny’s dark eyes, there was fear. Was he afraid of me? This was completely contrary to earlier this evening when it seemed all he did was act protectively of me. And now he had turned on me. Was I still dreaming? This can’t be a dream. Everything seemed to be hitting me all at once. This was a nightmare. All the fear, hate, the good, the bad came rushing to me in and overwhelming tsunami. Everything that I should have felt when I first woke up was on me now.
         My head was spinning, my stomach lurching, my ears rang as my eyes went black.


My eyes slowly opened. I blinked back the light of day. What an awful nightmare. When I looked over and saw not Danny, but Ann sitting in the chair I realized it wasn’t any kind of dream, but a real life nightmare come true.
         “I’m really awake?” I whispered. “It wasn’t a dream. Oh God!” I threw back the covers and tried to jump out of bed. Ann shot up, alarmed as I pushed my feet to the bathroom. I collapsed at the toilet and started throwing up. Ann, I took, rushed in after me and held my hair back from my face. She rubbed my back as the process continued on and off for a few minutes. I didn’t leave the toilet. Finally, my hand reached up and flushed it. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.
         I moaned. Ann helped me up. My right leg throbbed. I could feel the searing pain now catching up to me. Ann went to the sink, searching, and handed me a toothbrush with a blue squishy handle. I wet it and she added a little toothpaste for me. I stood there for however long it was brushing my teeth. I scrubbed my tongue and spit. After I cleaned the toothbrush Ann took it and put it up.
         I could feel the cold sweat on my forehead. Realization had hit me hard like a brick wall. Fact is, I don’t know who I am no matter how hard I try. I’m married to a man who’s face is unfamiliar and who I know absolutely nothing about. Something happened to me and no one will tell me. Something or someone is trying to find a way back in. And there is a little boy just down the hall from me who called me mamma. Opinion is, I’m scared out of my mind, don’t know what the heck’s going on around here , and I have no clue what to do about it.
         What is Kris to do, if that truly is my name?
         Ann helped me back into bed. I looked at her still kind ever warm face.
         “I’ll go get you some water and a damp cloth.”
         “Wha”--  I was about to ask where Danny is, but if I remember correctly this one thing, the look in his eyes last I saw, was not one of loving, tender, care, but that of disgust, fear and… hate. I sighed. “Nevermind.” She looked at me worried before she turned to her errand. I laid back and focused on my breathing rather than what had happened. I didn’t want to think about anyone or anything but me right this moment. I’m living and breathing; it’s good enough for me… for now.
         Footsteps entered the room, my eyes opened. Ann gave me the glass and I drank. She told me to lay my head back and I did so. She folded the damp rag and laid it on my forehead.
         “Are you feeling any better?”
         “Yeah.” I replied closing my eyes.” I sighed, trying to find the right words. “It’s as if… like… all the fear or whatever a normal person would feel.. and act in my situation upon waking up, just all quickly caught up with me. When I awoke… I think I was taking it all in, you know?” I blew out a big breath I had been building up as I spoke.
         “People deal with things their own way and in their own time frame.”
         “I don’t understand… any of this!” I said perturbed.
         “I know dear. I’m pretty sure you don’t.”
         “It’s almost as if you are keeping secrets or something from me, which doesn’t help considering I can’t remember crap right now anyways!”
         “I mean.. and who was that little boy!” My voice was rising and growing louder as the anger boiled over. My hand pointed in the direction of the door. My eyes were open now and my other hand pulled the rag off my face.
         “What Is Danny thinking now? Is he mad at me for wondering around or God knows what? Does he hate me now? If there’s anything else I should know about, you should go on and tell me before I stumble across whatever it is too.” I was breathing heavily from my little fit. Ann just sat there on the edge of the bed letting me rant.
         She let me calm down some before she spoke.
         “Now I don’t like secrets, and you do have a right to know everything. But”—
         “But,” I continued for her. “I’m better off not knowing some things… for now.”
         “Yes.” I nodded
         “I get it. But you know, how would you feel if you woke up not remembering anything! You have to figure out or find out things on your own before anyone will tell you about it. Your married to a man you don’t ever remember being with or loving or marrying. Plus, there’s some kid I’ve dreamt about and I wake up and go down the hall and what do you know! The kid’s real! Then he wakes and sees you and reaches and comes for you all the while calling you mamma. How would you feel?” The tears were built up in my eyes and now were pouring over.
         “I just want to know why.” I gurgled. She took the rag and placed it back on my forehead. My head was throbbing now. I just wanted to see Danny and know he wasn’t mad at me. With perfect timing, Danny walked in. He seemed more reserved. Ann stood up and said sternly to her son, “She needs her rest. I can’t have her wondering around like that on her own again. God knows what she’ll run into.” He flinched. “She’s still healing, son. Remember that.”
         He pursed his lips considering her words as she left the room. I didn’t dare look directly at his face. My face, from what I could feel, was turning hot. I shrunk, just waiting for his reaction.
         He merely sat down on the edge of the bed. I swallowed loudly.
         “I have some explaining.” He said calmly. My eyes flickered up to his face, but he wasn’t looking away. He was looking at the wedding picture on the nightstand.
         “Look, before you say anything just please let me explain.” My words rushed out.
         “I”-
         “Please.” I whispered. He nodded his head. Still looking away. I took a slow deep breath through my nose.
         “Okay. I was dreaming I think. I was in the bathroom right there.” My head tilted to the right gesturing towards the master bath. “A small boy was there in the tub. He reached for me and I played with him and we laughed.” I laughed at the memory of the dream. “His laugh was so high, tiny, sweet. Then I wrapped his little body up in the towel and just held him.” The tears kept on falling freely as I pictured the boys perfect face. “He had blue eyes and dark hair… light brown skin. Absolute perfection. And his hands,” I smiled. “They were so small. I was sitting in this chair holding him when you came in. You just saw us and smiled. Your face was glowing.”
         “I woke up and this longing to hold him was unbearable! I had to find him. Some gut instinct led me that way and I opened the door to this little boys room.” My eyes focused back to the present. “He called me mamma. He came to me. Why? Is- is he my son? Our son?” When I looked at Danny his eyes were glistening. Whether it was with joy or sorrow, I wasn’t sure.
         “He’s ours.” I shook my head. Figuring. The boy I saw tonight had to have been more than a year old.
         “How is that possible if we married almost a year ago?” Then it sunk in. The answer was so obvious. “Oh!”
         “He’s three. Born March the 8th. Our anniversary is coming up on June the 3rd.”
         “So what is today?”
         “April 29th.” I was doing the math in my head.
         “So I had him when I was..”
         “You were 17. Almost 18 in July.”
         “Hmm.” The more I thought about this new found truth the more scared and bothered I became.
         “How can I have a son? I don’t even know his name. I can’t remember his first birthday, or giving birth. I can’t remember carrying him inside of me or even conceiving him. No child should suffer that. I can’t get my memory back for him. I can’t remember…” I couldn’t speak no more. The sobs were taking over. My head was pounding from all this crying, my face was twisted and my words were blubber. Danny picked up my hand. Somehow this was comfort enough. I didn’t want to cry in front of him or show any sign of weakness so I pulled myself together. Yes the tears were still there, but It was more controlled.
         “His name is Tyler. Your dream, wasn’t just a dream. It was a memory. That really did happen. It was when we first got the house together. He was… maybe one or so.” This sparked something inside of me.
         “What? That was a memory?”
         “Yes.” This had me smiling till my face hurt.


         A few days passed on and the wounds were slowly healing. I didn’t bother to get up out of bed anymore for fear of what else I would come across. I’d been shocked enough finding out I had a son, whom was being kept away from me with good reason. I didn’t even want to see him. Scratch that, a huge part of me wanted to see him. Make a connection to my life before this, whatever happened accident. That was just being plain selfish on my part though.
         Like before when I first woke. There’s no faking remembering. It would only do more damage than good. He’s so young, he wouldn’t understand anyway.
         Danny helped me realize that first things first. I had to let my body grow stronger and heal before I could really begin to remember. It’s a two way function. Just like your car. The engine can’t begin to function until it is put into the car. So it’s the same for our brains. A brain can’t do it’s job without a good, healthy, strong body to function in.
         After this small turn of events, that next morning I woke to some new faces. Angela, the lovely 17 year old sister of Danny. She was graceful and elegant almost carrying herself confidently. She had lovely dark hair that curled down just below her ears. The bang swept across her forehead giving her a grown-up like look. Trudging behind her was Phil. I had heard his name, but now I could put a face to it.
         He was a handsome 18 year old who seemed to have a certain look in his gray eyes as he looked at Angela. It was respect and adoration for her. There was definitely something there between the two, though no one probably really noticed. Not even Angela herself. Angela as well seemed to be fond of someone—her older brother Danny. I have the feeling she looks up to him. What a threesome. I sigh. Neither one know how… fond the other is of him or her. I laugh when the three are in the room together.
         Danny probably sees himself, or has always seen himself as the big brother protector to his little sister. What of Phil does he think? Well, let’s just say if things do heat up between Angela and Phil, Danny won’t be speaking highly of him anymore.
         When we were all gathered there in the room making introductions, that atmosphere gave me a great sense of family. Besides… our son (still weird to say) being asleep in his bed, and still unable to see me of course, we were family. Well, they were. I’m just along for the ride. Ann the motherly type. Angela the loving daughter. Danny brotherly towards Phil and Aaron, it almost made me feel out of place.
         Over the next few days, Angela more or less volunteered to stay with me. I would ask questions about herself. Was she still in school? What did she like to do? Simple things like that. She was excited to tell me about how her Senior year of high school had been going. She told me about all of her friends and what they talked about. Then I asked some other questions. About Danny. They were deeper.
         I wanted to get to know him. She told me some small minor details, but said the rest I’d have to figure out on my own. I sighed at that. He’s still so intimidating. She had laughed when I told her this and said that he’s always been like that, but you get used to it. I actually found the time passing faster as we spoke. I enjoyed her company a great deal.
         But by day six, I was getting a little innerved. I was going stir crazy. I was somewhat sick of this bedroom and had yet to get up and explore this two story home in the woods. When I had asked why we would pick a house in the woods, I was told simply because we were outdoorsy people. Ha! I could tell it was somewhat a lie, or just not the whole truth. The house is literally 7 miles deep in the woods.
         I was told my home is a 5 bedroom 3 bath estate. Ann and Angela had their own rooms set up for whenever they felt like coming for a stay. Phil and Aaron were in and out most of the time so the fifth bedroom had a bunk bed in it for whenever they wanted to crash.
         All in all, it’s been an interesting couple of days.
It was when I woke the next morning, the air was totally different. I stretched my arms and legs and stifled a yawn. I pulled the covers back and slowly stood. My leg was much more stable and less painful. The three long gashes were fading, but I knew they would never completely go away. The bruising around it and everywhere else on my body was now a faded pinkish purple.
         The minor scratches were already healed. I went to the bathroom, feeling the grit in my hair. I stood under the warm water, sighing. It felt so good to my worn out beaten skin. It was rejuvenating. I scrubbed my head twice. The sweet aroma surrounded me in an aura. I didn’t want to get out, but I knew I had something to look forward to tomorrow morning.
         I stepped out, twisting the towel around my hair after I dried my body. I walked over to the closet area, which was part of the bathroom searching. The six white shelves over one another on the left side were full of what looked like jeans. I picked up a pair, but they were defiantly not my size. They were Danny’s, I guessed. I walked to the hanging clothes nearby, and saw his shirts there. Okay so the left side is his things.
         I looked around on the opposite side but saw no jeans, only a few hanging dresses. I searched through them, until I found a casual light brown thigh length cotton dress. I slipped it on. The sleeves were short and the neck was a wide v shape. “Lovely.” I muttered to myself. I would have been just as comfortable—if more in a pair of jeans. Oh well, work with what you got. I unraveled my hair and let it fall loosely to the middle of my back. I combed through the tangles then went to look some socks and shoes.
         In a pull out drawer on my side I found a pair of knee length dark socks and slipped on a pair of dark brown flat boots that left a little sock at the top exposed. I went back into the bedroom, wondering If I should hang tight in here, or go find someone.
         My attention span lasted about five seconds, before I decided to leave the bedroom. Really, what’s the worst thing that could happen? I didn’t dare wonder around upstairs for fear of Tyler seeing me. I shuddered at the thought.
         I ran down the stairs and paused, looking around the wide living area. “Not to shabby.” I smiled at myself. I prided myself in having this large beautiful home. It’s pretty putrid of me to think, but it’s true. I kept on  walking around, but I saw no one.
         “Hello? Is anyone here?” Dead silence. Hmm. No need to panic. Maybe I should try upstairs, but just as I was about to; Angela rushed in, accompanied by Phil. There faces were both that of anger and worry. They seemed to be in a rush until their eyes met mine.
         “What’s going on?” I asked calmly. Angela motioned with her hand to turn around.
         “Go.” She said demandingly.
         “Huh?” I stood dumbfounded. They practically jogged on over to me and Angela turned me around and grabbed my hand, pulling me towards the stairs, then up them.
         “Angela?” Phil was right behind me coaxing me forward. We didn’t go left to my room but continued straight towards Tyler’s room.
         “Wait here.” Angela said as we stopped outside his bedroom. Miss rush n’ run Angela was suddenly slow as she walked up to the door. I looked to Phil, a good foot above me. (Man I’m short!) His face was hard and his body tense. Maybe this is serious. Oh God. Did something happen to Danny, or Ann or even Aaron? Wait, then what’s the reason for us being outside Tyler’s door right now slowly creeping in after the storm?
         I was engorged in my horrific thoughts, until Phil growled next to me. What the mess? I looked back at him a little curious and somewhat weirded out. He grabbed my arm as I turned my head to the empty bedroom. Angela was back at my side, but….. where was Tyler?
         “What is going on!” I shouted. They both jumped.
         “I’ve got her, you go find Danny. Tell him it’s true.” She said fiercely, almost growling herself on the last part. When I looked back to Phil, he was suddenly gone.
         “It’s true? What’s true?” I said angrily through my teeth, but Angela was already pulling me back down the hall and into my room. 
         She shuffled through the Chester drawers throwing pairs of jeans—my size on the bed.
         “So that’s where they were. Why didn’t I think of that?” I muttered to myself.
         “Go in your closet, and on the very top of one of the shelves are two suitcases. Bring one here and throw some of Danny’s clothes in the other.” I hesitated. “Hurry! We don’t have much time!”
         I did as she said and ran into the bathroom. I jumped up and down until I was able to yank the two suitcases down. I ran back into the bedroom and handed her the bag. She was already throwing my underwear into it.
         “Grab only the basic essentials!”  I quickly yanked the shirts off the racks and threw them down, then grabbed some jeans, and cut off shorts from the shelves.
         Angela ran into the bathroom with the suitcase.
         “Here I’ll finish this, get yalls’ toothbrushes and things like that.” I followed her “orders” without question. When we were done we ran downstairs and out the door.
         As soon as we hit the front door I was a little bit distracted. Torn away from the current problem. The outside air was so refreshing. It was all new again to me. Sure I could remember such things as color and food and this, but the detail—
         “Come on!” Angela shouted at me over her shoulder. I snapped back to reality and ran forward. There was a silver Nissan Skyline GT-R parked waiting for us. The rocks and dirt made a crunching sound with each step I took. I threw the bag I had in the back and got in the passenger seat.
         She was already in and revved the engine to life. As we drove away, I looked back at the beautiful two story brick home. For some odd reason I wondered if I’d see it again.