That Beautiful Leap

That Beautiful Leap

His feet trudged mournfully up the final few steps, strength sapped by the epic ascent he had undertaken. The extra weight on his back threatened to pull him over at any moment, the possibility of a nasty fall hanging over his head like a damoclean sword. He exhaled heavily as he stepped onto level ground, his path finally becoming more tolerable. He stepped forward, pushed confidently on the metal bar that held the door ahead closed, and stepped out into the blinding light of day.

He had awoken that morning with an unnatural sense of certainty. Prior to that day he had always had a whirling sense of self-doubt, like what he was trying to achieve was impossible. Like he had set himself a task akin to Sisyphus pushing his boulder up a hill in Hell. Today, that sensation had gone.

His whole life he had tried to help those around him to wake up a little bit, to see what they were doing to themselves through their own indecision and confusion.

Nothing he tried worked. Every time he pushed them in the right direction they pushed back harder, forcing him to accept the version of reality they were determined to create for themselves. He could never understand how they couldn't see how simple the choice could be, how easily they could avoid the pitfalls they were stepping into.

But now he got it. They couldn't be helped because they didn't want to be. As much as the things they were doing to themselves seemed terrible to him, to them they had a bewitching sense of catharsis. They felt like they deserved these horrible experiences, like they were all they could ever know.

He had realised that the only one you can ever save is yourself. And since he had already decided to do that, he would have to be content with his own decisions and leave them to theirs. He looked down from the perch he had found himself, the cars rushing past far below, travelling inexorably towards destinations they only partly knew were coming. He saw all the beauty and the chaos spread out in front of him. He breathed a great sigh of relief, and stepped off, feeling that exhilarating rush as his stomach hit his throat.

The soft breathing of the wind rose rapidly, turning from a gentle tugging to a nagging insistence. The deafening roar grew louder as he fell, engulfing him in a ball of sound. He felt his cheeks begin to flap, and tears streamed from his eyes.

Not yet he thought, holding back for the perfect moment.

The ground rushed towards him, a full stop at the end of a wild ride. As individual people grew clearer on the streets below, his hand reached down to the centre of his chest. A swift jerk towards his crotch and he was dragged back by an invisible hand, a complex web of strings and nylon unfolding behind him. The roar was replaced by an unfathomable silence. Blanketing calm spread throughout his body.

This is why I love life, he smiled to himself as his feet touched terra-firma. He would soon be gathering up his 'chute and sprinting awkwardly off, hoping not to have attracted too much attention. But for now, he was content.