Broken </3

It felt like I was hollow. How could this happen to me? We were in love..

It felt wrong to be so happy, but then I had been through enough already. I was so happy I had found him, my Josh. We were already inseperable, we've only known eachother for a month. We just seemed to click as soon as we had met, I met him through my best friend's boyfriend. He was perfect, it nearly hurt how much I loved him. There is an age gap, my parents dont approve but i don't care. Im 15 and he is 17, I go to school (my last year) and he is in his first year of college.

I was sat in english watching the clock hands ticking slowly round. They seemed to get slower each time. English normally interests me, but today I just wasn't in the mood. My friend Jess was trying to talk to someone accross the class by leaning in front of me. It was beginning to annoy me.
"Jess, can't you just pass a note? Alice clearly can't hear you" I said a bit too sharply.
"I sorry Bells, didnt mean to disturb your doing nothing!" Jess nearly spat back. I dont understand why she was being like this with me, I know I didnt say it too nicly, but it wasnt like that.
"Look, im sorry for a minute ago, i didnt mean to say it like that"I was trying to get her attention back "Do you want to go into town after school?"
It worked. As soon as i'd mentioned town she was smiling and talking about a top she'd wanted for ages. I tried to look enthused but my mind was on Josh. I had a funny feeling that something was wrong, he hadnt answered my text from this morning and thats not like him. I knew I was just being silly but I couldnt shake the feeling off.

"Josh. JOSH!" I was trying to get myself heard over the crowd flowing out of the college doors "Josh, over here." He didnt look right at me, but started walking in my direction.
"Oh, hey Bella" his voice sounded dead, like he didnt even know he was saying anything. When I reached up to give him a hug he pulled me down and took my hand. He lead me into the tree's just off of the parking lot.
"I need to talk to you, you wont like what ive got to say, but I have to say it myself" he explained in the same dead voice. When he finaly turned to face me there were big tears rolling down his cheeks and off his chin, ive never seen him cry like this before. Thats when I started to panic, my heart beating faster and faster. it felt like it was trying to burst through my chest.
"Yes?" I managed to croak out between my uneaven, ragged breaths.
"I dont think I can keep seeing you, im 17 now Bells. I need to be with someone closer to my own age. I will always love you and you dont understand how hard this is for me. Im sorry." He kissed me lightly on the forehead then let go of my clammy hand and walked away from me. I thought I was going to feel pain, but I just felt numb.

The numbness lasted untill someone picked me up off the ground. I couldnt figure out why I was soaking. It wasnt untill someone said it that I found out it was raining. After I realised I was wet, my other senses started working. I was also freezing and shaking.
"I'vbe got her!" A big voiced boomed from above my head somewhere. "Tell Charlie she's ok."
My dad had sent out a search party. How long had I been gone for?
"Bella? Bells, honey can you talk?" It was my dad Charley talking to me.
"Im ok"I replied shakily. "Just tired, I want to go to bed."

"Look, Bella I know you've been thorugh hell but you have to help yourslef! You can't keep on like this, Its been 4 months for christs sake!" Charley was shouting at me again.
"Im late dad, ive got to get to school. We'll talk when i get back" I said without facing him as I hurried for the door. I didnt stop hurring untill I had gotten half way up the hill. I had bumped into Chris.
"Ompht!" I had knocked the wind out of myself by walking straight into all the books he was carring. "Im so sorry Chris, let me help you." I offered and started to pick up the books. I havnt seen him in almost a year, He had changed quite a lot. the last time I'd seen him he was 14. Now he looked like he would pass for 16 easily, maybe 18.
"Ohh! Im sorry, I didnt see you Bella. No, please, ill do that." He smiled warmly at me and picked up the books swiftly.
"How are you now?" He asked me gingerly. Everyone seemed to know about what happend.
"Im doing great! Thanks for asking. How about yourself?" I smiled a false smile.
"Im doing good too, would you like a lift to school? My dad's just around the corner." He seemed to be less tense now.