No Longer Able

I try so hard,
to do so well.

My work is invisible,
and my face unseen

I cry this night
tears of frustration,
sadness,
and pain.

My soul is missing,
and I'm afraid it might
be dead
forever.

The one thing that understands
most,
my one friend I could
talk to -- tell my
secrets
without fear to ...

Is gone.

Gone by the hand of yet
another enemy in my life.

I hate it,
hate it all.

it's not fair,
I work too hard
too hard to deserve these
punishments I'm forced
to put up with.

Sometimes I let it be known how I
feel,
only to be misunderstood,
and live yet again in my
world,
devoid of justice.

Where is my turn?
My turn to be rewarded?
I see those around me -- good things
happen to them.

What about me?
Can't I get some good
luck?

I'll never let someone so close to
me, Leaving with a shattered illusion
friendship.

The world has a shoulder,
and it's showing it to
me.

I wish I could be the best,
and be recognized as such.

I'm never good enough,
smart enough
fast enough
equal enough ...

I can't express myself how I
want to.
People always confuse
what I'm saying.

I make it oh so clear, yet
the miscommunication is there.

Or lack of communication.

I wish people would listen to me
when I speak

Or write. I write for
reasons.

I write when I'm bothered.

I write, asking for help.

Never receiving.

I think the world would end
before I am helped.

So many problems, just
make it all stop.

I can live like this
no longer

So I die on the inside and exist until tomorrow.