dark angel

DARK ANGEL

I opened my eyes and she was there.
She was there like I knew she would be. Like I wished her to be, staring back at me with those alluring large brown eyes. I blinked twice to focus my blurring view, since my eyes where still not accustomed to the harsh hospital fluorescent lights. A gracious smile greeted me.

I concentrated on her angelic smile as she began to diagnose and note my daily progress on her clipboard. I had seen that face everyday for the past few months, but I had never really seen it at all, until I awoke yesterday morning.
However, her grin quickly vanished when she studied all of those strange monitors I was hooked up to. I closed my eyes. I preferred the smile much more than that pitiful impotent look I always received when something happened to me. And like usual, something always happened to me. I had to admit I was a magnet for trouble, a complete clumsy fool jinxed with bad luck since birth. I was used to all sorts of accidents, but this time it had been the worst possible scenario I could have ever imagined. Luckily the rescue workers had arrived just in time to save my life, but that overwhelming fear that had possessed me during the crash was still lingering and waiting to possess me.

Just thinking about it made my temperature rise and I unconsciously cowered at the painful memories. I heard the constant beep of my heart monitor increase its tempo and, without a warning, my breathing became heavy and erratic. A horrible taste of bile filtered its way to my mouth as nauseating flashbacks of my recent accident appeared in my mind.

I kept my eyes tight shut, fighting against tears that where about to give away my pathetic emotions. I then tried to swallow but a large rasping knot had propagated in my throat provoking my already warned-out serenity. My blood felt like hot acid pumping through my body, and once again I recognised that horrible sensation of panic erupting from deep inside of me.

I could feel myself sinking into the darkness, and in a desperate attempt to stay awake I tried to swallow again, but somehow I still couldn’t do it. The panic elevated to even higher levels within seconds. The heart monitor recorded more erratic beats and instantly its alarm emitted a loud high-toned beep in sign of red alert.

NO, NO, NO! I yelled with rage inside of me since no sound was coming out. Damn it! After all I had gone through! . After all that I had suffered, all of that agony and pain, how could a simple memory affect me like this!
“ Henry, are you listening to me?” Her voice seemed distant. “Henry calm down now, you stay with me you hear. Hang on and we will get through this.” I wasn’t sure if she was trying to calm me or calm herself with her pleads, but in any case they were not new to me. I already knew from experience that a fierce internal fight was approaching and that the dark and foggy mist would soon appear and attempt to engulf me.

“Now you hang on there. Are you listening to me? Don’t leave me now.” She had sensed the urgency of my situation and had unconsciously raised her voice a few tones, but this didn’t bother me since it now sounded far, far away.

Reality had vanished away again, and I was now all alone floating in a dark bubble of limbo. The mist was on its way and all I could do was confront it alone. I focused and waited what seemed like an eternity, but there was no way of tracking time where I was now, completely lost in the surreal. I had been here before and it was exactly the total lack of senses that had terrified me the most, except that this time a cold calm tingle crept up my right wrist. Slowly the weak sensation intensified and a warm wave of comfort paced up my arm and sifted through my torso. Moments later my body ceased to ache, my compressed lungs miraculously inhaled freely, the lump in my throat disappeared and this time I managed to swallow and wash away the horrible taste in my mouth. The dark threatening fog steadily backed away and my human senses where activated once more as I returned from the abyss.

“Henry, can you hear me? Look at me honey?” Her angelic voice drifted through my mind, and I knew from months of experience that I had to follow her cues in order to get back to reality.

With great effort I forced my muscles to open my eyes. Again the vision was completely blurred and I blinked trying to focus. At first I could make out her white cotton uniform and the hanging stethoscope, then as I looked up I could see her placing some needles back to a stainless steel rounded tray. There were others behind her, but I couldn’t see nor care for them.

Relief was now pouring into me and I could feel a sense of relaxation and comfort reign through my body. She placed the tray on the bedside table and leaned towards me to give me a warming grin.

“Now don’t go scaring me like that again. You know that’s no way to impress a girl.” She sweetly wiped the sweat of my brows and then gave me a cheeky wink.

She had done it again, she had not only saved my life, but she had managed to lighten up my dreary days. Her mere presence was the highlight of my hideous days. I promised myself that as soon as I could, I would ask for her name, but until then I would mentally call her “my dark angel”

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